


Sanders Sides Spook Month 2018

by IsaacTheGreat69



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 14:05:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 47,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16620431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsaacTheGreat69/pseuds/IsaacTheGreat69
Summary: Each chapter is set to a Spook Month challenge prompt. Tags and pairings will be listed in each chapter's notes, and no ficlets are related unless stated otherwise.





	1. Simply Meant to Be

**Author's Note:**

> Paring: Moxiety
> 
> Summary: Virgil really loves Halloween, and parties. Especially Halloween parties. Patton really loves Virgil.
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human AU, costumes, Virgil is non-binary, Remy is genderfluid, hence the costume

No one in their friend group loved Halloween as much as Virgil. That wasn’t an opinion either – that was proven fact. Virgil would always go all-out on their decorations, pulling out all the stops, never leaving a single tombstone unturned. They’d set up a smoke machine for the front porch, blinking glowing eyes for the bushes, and put up window-length pictures of a run down, spooky house in their windows to make it seem like you were seeing the inside of their house. The house was covered in cobwebs, carefully placed in such a way that it created a tunnel of web guiding innocent trick-or-treaters directly to their front door. They’d bring out this electronic Scream decoration that hung from a tree and was motion activated. It would let out a creepy moan, and invisible strings would move the arms up and down. One year, they dressed up as a mummy and sat in a chair on the porch, holding a candy bowl that said, “only take one, please”. They were full-sized candy bars, so it wasn’t a ridiculous request. If a kid took more than one, they’d give the kid a good jump-scare and laugh as the arrogant thirteen-year-old ran crying to his mom. They weren’t malicious though, and they didn’t hate children.

They just really liked Halloween.

Perhaps their favorite part, they had to say, was their Halloween parties. Everyone loved them, and no matter who they invited and what they expected, they always ended up with more people than they planned for. Last year, so many people had shown up that they were flooding into Virgil’s front and back yards. They couldn’t count how many times someone set off Scream and drunkenly tried to fight it. Thankfully, it was mostly cloth, so they didn’t damage it. The only plastic parts were the hands and face.

This year, they were doubling their supply of party snacks. They bought enough Halloween candy to feed a small army, and when the cashier had to ring up half of the store’s apple supply, Virgil had to look away with a red face. They’d rolled their cart of candy, apples, chips, dips, punch mix and – yes –  _more_  decorations to their car, refusing to make eye contact with anyone they passed. Once they’d finally loaded everything up and backed out of the parking lot, they drove nearly ten miles under the speed limit, practically vibrating with excited energy. Halloween was in three days.

God, it was going to be amazing.

Their house had been decorated inside and out for eight weeks now. They had decorated the front yard as soon as they’d seen Halloween merch being sold in stores, figuring that if they could see it in stores, it was acceptable to decorate their house (not that they cared about what was socially acceptable). Patton had helped them, the two of them making a day of it and having fun using all of Virgil’s decorations and scaring each other. Virgil had to say Patton’s impression of Scream was spot on.

The night before Halloween, Logan and Roman come over from across town and Patton makes everyone dinner, since Virgil couldn’t cook to save their life, and they all settle in for a Halloween movie marathon. Patton and Virgil sit on the couch together, and no one makes fun of them for cuddling, and Patton pretends to be scared because he knows that Virgil doesn’t want the others to know how anxious horror movies make them. Patton doesn’t mind; he’ll gladly pretend to be scared if it makes Virgil happy.

Once they cycle through the acceptable horror films, they watch more family-friendly Halloween movies (per Patton’s request) like Halloweentown and Nightmare Before Christmas. Virgil appreciated the change, and they sang the songs along with their friends. Patton sang Sally’s parts, and Virgil sang Jack’s, the two of them flawlessly singing the couple’s duet later in the movie and sharing smiles which turns to laughter when Patton gives Virgil an eskimo kiss. Roman waggles his eyebrows and Virgil turns red, flipping him off.

They were midway through Scary Godmother when Patton nudged Virgil’s shoulder and they realized Roman was asleep against Logan, who didn’t look too far behind. Virgil smiled to themselves as they got up and grabbed a blanket for the pair, draping it across their shoulders. Logan shoots Virgil a tired thankful smile and closes his eyes. Virgil looks back at Patton, who’s blinking sleepily at the movie, and smiles. “Come on firefly, time for bed.” Patton whines but gets up, taking their hand and letting them drag him back to their room.

Virgil grabbed a Guns ‘N Roses tank top, an old shirt of Patton’s that he’d left the last time he spent the night, and two pairs of sweat pants, handing Patton his shirt and one of the pairs of sweats. Patton smiles and takes the clothes, stripping down to his boxers and changing into the offered clothing. Virgil blushes and turns away, changing their own clothes quickly and joining Patton in bed. Patton pouts at Virgil, “Let’s cuddle. Please?” Virgil laughs softly. “Fine. Cuddlebug.” Virgil turns around and Patton wraps his arms around Virgil’s middle, pulling them close until their back was pressed against his chest. He smiles against the back of Virgil’s neck, whispering, “Tomorrow’s going to be great, I just know it.”

Virgil hummed in agreement and closed their eyes, not realizing how tired they were as they almost instantly fell asleep.

Virgil woke up late Halloween morning, awareness trickling in like a small creek as they squinted against the light filtering in from the window. They cursed under their breath – Patton always opened the curtains when he stayed the night, and Virgil always woke up with sunlight in their face. Virgil rolled over with a soft groan, holding themselves up by their elbows. “Pat, wha-….” Their voice trailed off as they looked around. Patton wasn’t there, and his spot was cold. Virgil huffed slightly and rolled onto their stomach to look at the clock and swore loudly as they fumbled to untangle themselves from the blankets. They were so late!

Well, you can’t really be late to anything when you had nothing scheduled, but they were supposed to be getting the party ready! They had so much stuff to set up, and they’d slept through the morning – it was almost noon! They fall flat on their face, their foot caught up in the blanket sending them to the floor. They huff and shake the blanket off, getting onto their hands and knees before standing up, starting slightly when Roman stood in the doorway with a smug look, arms crossed over his chest. “Well that was hot.” Virgil could feel their face heating up as Roman laughed. “Shut up. Why didn’t anyone wake me up?”

“Pat told us if we woke you up early he’d hide the Crofter’s.” Virgil snorts and rolls their eyes. Of course. Another glance at their digital alarm clock has any semblance of humor leaving their face, though. “Get out of my way, I need to prepare for the party.” They try to move around Roman, who’s wide frame easily blocks most of the doorway, but Roman won’t let them by. “Roman, seriously.” Their breathing picks up a little. What if people start coming while they’re decorating? What if they aren’t finished and they have to stop, and people hate it? What if it doesn’t meet anyone’s standards because they didn’t give themselves the time to properly decorate? What if people hate it so much they stop coming? Then Virgil will be alone on Halloween and-

“Whoa, Virge. Hey, look at me. There you go.” Roman smiles when Virgil looks up, not realizing that they were staring at their hands, picking nervously at their cuticles. “This is why I’m not letting you out yet; you need to calm down first. I will not stand by while you run yourself ragged trying to make the ‘perfect party’. It’s always amazing and you know it. Take a deep breath.” Virgil nods, squeezing their hands and focusing on the slight sting of their nails digging into their palms. They took a couple deep breaths, counting out the steps in their head until their mind was clearer.

“Okay, Prince, let me out.” Roman studies their expression before he steps out of the way with a sweeping bow. “Of course, Shay.” They walk past Roman, rubbing the last dregs of sleep out of their makeup-free eyes. Just one more thing to add to the list of 1,000 Things To Do Before 4 PM. Costume.

Virgil wanders into the kitchen to find Patton finishing up on lunch. Patton turns around and smiles brightly at the sight of his friend- making Virgil’s heart skip a beat – and clapping his hands together. “There you are sleepy head! You hungry? Lunch is almost ready.” Virgil pouted slightly and slunk into a chair. “I wouldn’t have slept so late if  _someone_  hadn’t threatened the Crofter’s.” Patton doesn’t even look apologetic as he turns back to the stir fry. “V, we both know you seriously needed the extra rest. Just how much have you been sleeping the last few weeks?” He leveled Virgil with a look over his shoulder, and Virgil pales slightly.

“…About 9 hours a week.”

“Exactly. Don’t you feel better now?” Patton starts to serve up the food onto four plates. Virgil hated to admit it, but Patton was right. They felt a lot better after sleeping ten solid hours. They hadn’t even realized how exhausted they felt until they didn’t. But then again, that always seemed to be how it was; their work kept them up at the strangest hours, and they were plenty used to getting little-to-no sleep.

Being a writer was hard, and nobody understood.

Patton sets a plate in front of Virgil, startling them out of their thoughts. He smiles a little apologetically before poking his head out of the kitchen to call the other two into the kitchen. He sits down across from Virgil with a grin and starts eating as Logan and Roman wander in. Roman sits next to Patton, starting to eat with mumbled praises of Patton’s cooking. Logan sits beside Virgil, giving them a small smile that they return, and they quickly hide their face when Patton looks over, starting to eat.

Virgil wolfs down their food, thanking Patton and tossing their plate precariously into the sink before going about party preparations. They still have a few decorations to put up (read: half of them), they had to make sure their backyard wasn’t a complete disaster, and they had to prepare all the food they’d gotten a few days ago. They practically run to their garage, throwing the door open and getting the last two Halloween boxes down, carrying them into the living room and starting to pull out decorations, starting with the living room, moving through the entryway and then the kitchen. They paused once those rooms were done. Should they decorate the hallway? People would be using their bathroom, so… Yeah, they should definitely decorate the hall and bathroom. They check the boxes to make sure they had enough, smiling to themselves. It was a good idea to buy more decorations when they’d gone to the store.

By the time they’re starting on the hallway, their three friends have finished eating and silently start helping as well. Patton starts getting the snacks together, pulling out bowls and arranging food and opening bag after bag, dumping them into the Halloween themed bowls. Roman goes about getting the activities together, grabbing the large barrel-like bucket out of the garage and filling it with water, cleaning the apples Virgil had bought and putting them in the bucket before moving onto the next thing. Logan went into the backyard, making sure the decorations had maintained their integrity and doing some light yardwork to keep the yard neat.

Virgil finished decorating the bathroom, smirking to themselves at the sinister spirit girl they’d affixed to the mirror. That thing was so creepy if you saw it with the lights off. They did one last glance-over of the bathroom and hallway before heading to their room and getting their costume together, slipping into the bathroom attached to their room to apply their makeup. Hopefully (more than likely) the others had thought to bring their own costumes.

It was a well-known fact that Virgil refused entry to anyone not in a costume, and this applied to their friends too.

What? They wanted authenticity, plus it made the party more fun. If their house was full of adults in casual day clothes it’d feel too much like a faculty Christmas party. They ended up accidentally slipping their arm in the hood of their costume and stared at it in confusion for a moment before realizing their mistake, taking the hoodie off and trying again. They adjusted it to make sure it wasn’t too bunched up and sat on the bathroom counter, grabbing their makeup. The great thing about their usual makeup routine and this costume was that they were pretty similar in style, so they didn’t have to use those cheap oily Halloween makeups.

They carefully apply the makeup, having been practicing for days to get it right so that they wouldn’t have to be stressing about it now, and look at themselves in the mirror. Sufficiently creepy. Very nice. They adjust their costume one last time, pulling the hood over their head and tying two of the sleeves behind their back before leaving their room. They mess with their sleeves, wondering if they should have made them shorter – seriously, why did they think making sleeves almost twice as long as their arms was a good idea? – and walk into the living room, where the other three are. Roman is dressed as The Beast (after he turns back into a human, of course), Patton as Belle, and Logan is dressed as Cogsworth, minute and hour hands drawn on his face. Virgil snorts, sitting on the back of the armchair away from all of them.

Patton looks away from the TV when Virgil sits down, gasping and jumping in alarm. That… is exactly why Virgil was sitting on the armchair instead of the couch. They turn their head away, their hoodie obscuring their face. Maybe this costume wasn’t such a good idea after a-

“I LOVE IT!!!” Patton jumps up and launches himself at Virgil, hugging them around their waist and pausing. “Wait… do you HAVE EXTRA ARMS???” Virgil startles slightly at the hug, blushing and nodding. “They’re fake, obviously, but yeah.” Patton squeals and hugs them again. “I love it kiddo, that’s so amazing!”

“…Thanks Pat.” Their face was burning. How red were they right now? Could anyone see under the makeup?

Roman and Logan get up, coming over to the armchair. Roman walks around it to see as much of the costume as possible, starting slightly and laughing in amazement at the hood. “This thing is positively creepy, it’s perfect.” He pokes a fang and draws his hand back when it actually hurts. He won’t be doing that again. “How long did it take to make this?” Virgil shrugs. “A couple months. I didn’t have much free time between writing and preparing for Halloween.” Logan ran his fingers along the yellow stitching; an odd choice, but it fit so well that he couldn’t really raise any complaints.

“Your work is exquisite, as always.” Virgil tries to hide their smile. Patton flips his hair over his shoulder – because he couldn’t be Belle without the wig, Logan, he just couldn’t! – and lets go of Virgil. “So! When is everyone going to get here?” Virgil looks at the wall clock over the couch. “Well…. I told them 4, so we should have-“ A knock at the door sounds. Virgil sighs. “absolutely no time to ourselves.”

They go to answer the door, Remy forcing his way inside almost as soon as the door’s open enough to slip in. “Guuuurl!  _Love_  what you did with the place, and that  _eyeshadow_?  _So_  gothic chic.”

Virgil rolls their eyes. “Like you have room to talk-“ They check Remy’s necklace; the ‘he’ pendant is dangling from the thin chain. “Mr. Friday Night Makeover. What’s up with the costume?” They gesture up and down Remy’s lanky frame. The left half of Remy is a witch; green skin, black dress, long gnarly nails and wild black hair under (half of) a witch’s hat. The right half of Remy is a wizard; white beard, blue robe decorated with silver stars, and (half of) a pointy wizard hat. Remy tsks and flaps a hand dismissively. “It’s like, the Halloween version of that half-man-half-woman costume. Keep up, Virge.”

Huh. That was actually…. Kind of clever. Virgil rolls their eyes. “Yeah, yeah. You gonna stand in my doorway all day or do you wanna watch a movie with us while we wait?” Remy walks further into the house, raising an eyebrow at the other three on the couch. “Wait? Babe, this is Halloween! You’re throwing a party! There’s no such thing as waiting.” A Starbucks cup appears in his hand almost as if out of nowhere.

It’s another twenty minutes of watching movies and gossiping (because you can’t be friends with Remy without being pulled into his gossip) before anyone else arrives. It starts with the occasional ringing of the doorbell, Virgil getting up to let people in, everyone kind of congregating in the living room to watch movies. Then the ringing was near constant, until the house was crowded, the TV was turned off, and Virgil just had their door propped open so they didn’t have to keep answering it. Virgil had their Halloween soundtrack playing from the speakers, and they wandered through the crowd, keeping their gaze a little low.

They loved these parties – obviously, since they hosted them – but they’d never been good with crowds. They chat with a few friends, a stranger or two, but they mostly keep to themselves. They lost the other four about an hour ago, unable to find them in all the strange costumes and disguised faces. You’d think a poofy yellow dress would be easy to spot, but you’ve never seen a house full of superheroes, gorgons, genderbends and princesses. It was a lot.

Scream went off for the 46th time that night, Mufasa stumbling back with a cry and slapping the ghost.

Virgil scoffs and wanders into the kitchen. It was usually empty, since all the food and games were in the other rooms. They look out the window at all the cars parked along the street, and the groups of people in their front yard. They sat on the counter, watching people pass and looking for their friends.

Patton hadn’t even realized he was separated from the others until he’d turned to point something out to Virgil, only to realize the other wasn’t there. He shrugged to himself, figuring that the others were all adults and could take care of themselves. Besides, this was Virgil’s house! It was fine. He wandered through the front and back yards, through the house, and back again, talking to people and complimenting costumes, figuring he’d find his friends when he was meant to. He smiled as Thriller came up on Virgil’s playlist and the crowd cheered. They had such good taste in music.

He walked through the back of the house just to cover his bases, finding Virgil’s room empty and a very wet Roman being assisted by a very exasperated Logan in the bathroom. Apparently, he’d fallen into the apple bobbing bucket. That was just hilarious, and sad. In fact, he could say it was…

“Don’t you dare.”

“Oh my god.”

“- _apple_ solutely terrible!”

Twin groans followed him as he shut the door with a laugh. He heads into the living room just as Thriller is ending, and he spots Virgil sitting in the kitchen. He bounds into the room, hugging Virgil tightly and missing the blush on their cheeks. “Virgil! I’ve been looking all over for you, kiddo! Are you okay?” Virgil clears their throat and nods. “I’m fine, Pat. I was just trying to find you guys, figured it might be easier if I didn’t move.” Patton nods and takes Virgil’s hand, in no way missing how the other’s cheeks color. “Well, here I am! Come on, let’s go party!” Virgil rolls their eyes and hops off the counter, letting Patton drag them back into the fray.

Patton sticks by their side, not letting go of their hand as they wander around the room, chatting occasionally. Virgil feels completely relaxed, grounding themselves with the feeling of Patton’s hand in theirs. The blush never quite leaves their face, their cheeks a little pink, and they hope people just assume they’re drunk. Monster Mash starts up, and Patton gasps loudly, spinning to face Virgil. Oh no.

“Dance with me!”

Shit. “I don’t know, I’m not much of a dancer, Pat.” Patton pouts. “….Fine.” Virgil concedes, and Patton cheers, dragging them to a clearer part of the room. Virgil never could resist those puppy dog eyes, even when they were surrounded by fake brown ringlets.

Patton was not by any means a good dancer, but Virgil loved watching him. His face was so carefree, enjoying the moment with his best friend and not caring what other people thought of him. The mood was infectious, and soon Virgil found themselves giving in and starting to dance too. They didn’t think they were any better than Patton, but dammit they weren’t going to let that keep them from having fun. The crowd had backed away slightly as the two danced, giving them more room, and when the song was over, Virgil burst into laughter. That was the stupidest thing they’ve ever done. Well….. yeah, no, dumbest thing ever. They looked at Patton, who’s lips were parted slightly and a slight pink on his cheeks. He smiled, a look in his eyes Virgil couldn’t place. Black Magic Woman started, making Virgil turn absolutely red, and Patton got a mischievous look in his eye. He held out a hand to Virgil. “Wanna dance?”

Virgil wanted to quip back that they already had, Patton didn’t need to ask, but the words died in their throat and they nodded. Patton’s smile grew as they took Virgil’s hand and spun them so their back was facing him. When Patton stood behind them to the left and took their hands, their eyes widened. He wanted to..? But they’d taken that class two years ago! As a joke! Virgil was going to totally embarrass themselves! They didn’t have time to object; as soon as they were in position, Patton started moving, and Virgil went with him on instinct. They thought belatedly that if Patton was in a dress, then they should be leading, but it’s not like it really mattered. Besides, Patton always lead.

Their movements were smooth, coordinated, perfectly choreographed as they moved in sync, swaying their hips as they danced together. A smile danced on Virgil’s lips as they moved with Patton, swallowing their laughter in favor of not messing up. By the look on his face, Patton wasn’t feeling too different. They felt so much happiness and energy, their chest swelled with it and almost made it hard to breathe. When Patton put his hands on Virgil’s waist and they moved together, barely a breath between them, Virgil couldn’t keep the blush off their face. Patton spun Virgil back around to face him as they danced to the final part of the song, movements growing quicker as the tempo picked up. They were both panting slightly, not breaking eye contact, trusting the other to move as fluidly as them and stay in sync. On the final note of the song, Patton’s arms wrapped around Virgil and dipped them, making their hoodie fall back.

It was silent for a moment before the surrounding crowd broke out into loud cheers, Virgil and Patton finally letting their laughter loose as they gazed into each other’s eyes. Their cheeks were pink, though from the dancing or something else, no one could really say. They caught their breath, Patton still holding Virgil. When he realized this, his cheeks darkened and he straightened up, letting go of Virgil. They tried not to be too disappointed, feeling the loss of Patton’s arms as if they were being exposed to the cold for the first time. People closed in, asking Virgil and Patton where they’d learned to dance like that, how long they’ve been together, if they competed in shows. The second question made Virgil blush even worse, and both they and Patton rushed to tell their audience that no, they weren’t together, they were just really close friends.

They’d taken a salsa class together as a joke (and a dare from Roman, who already knew both salsa and tango, the show off) a couple years ago, and haven’t danced together since. It’s not that they hated it, or didn’t like dancing with each other, it was just… complicated. Salsa was a pretty intimate dance style, and as Virgil’s feelings for Patton grew, they found it hard to dance with him without letting their feelings carry them away. And now they were feeling all of that again, watching Patton’s face as he talked to old college friends, gesturing animatedly as he talked about their first few lessons when Virgil kept stepping on his foot. His eyes were alight with memories and Virgil couldn’t help by stare at how his lips wrapped around the words he spoke.

They started slightly when they realized they were staring, quickly excusing themselves from the conversation and absconding to their room. They pulled their hood back up as they walked, only to tear it off their head again once their door was shut behind them. Their sleeve-covered hands came up to cover their face, careful not to rub any makeup off as they took deep breaths. Come on Virgil, you need to relax. Now is not the time to swoon over your best friend of seventeen years. You’re throwing a Halloween party, go out, be a good host, and have fun. Just bury these feelings deep down until everyone goes home and then you can eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, okay?

Virgil nods to themselves, heading back out into the party (after making sure their makeup wasn’t messed up, of course) and mingling in the crowd. They got dozens of compliments on their costume, and even more when they informed people that it was hand-made. They hadn’t seen any of their friends since they came out of their room, and they figured Patton probably went off looking for Roman and Logan when Virgil disappeared. They made their way outside, declining the offer to bob for apples; if they did, their makeup would most certainly be ruined. Not to mention the water; it’d be murky with black eyeshadow. Eugh.

They headed back inside, gravitating over to the dining room table to see the carved pumpkins on display. It’d been Patton’s idea to have a pumpkin carving contest, and Virgil didn’t see a problem with it (aside from the cost of the pumpkins.  _Jesus_  Christ) and had it set up in the dining room. It looked like everyone was pretty much done, but there were still a couple pumpkins left, so Virgil sat down and grabbed their tools, getting to work.

Patton found them there half an hour later, still working on their pumpkin. They were carving something more three-dimensional, so they weren’t just carving out chunks and calling it a night. They were carving (more like witling, honestly) the famous Nightmare Before Christmas scene, with Sally and Jack on that hill. They were fortunate enough that the pumpkin they chose was thick-skinned, so they had plenty to work with. They were about three-quarters done with it, focusing more on the scenery after having finished the two characters. Patton smiles, standing back for a few minutes to watch before moving forward to sit by Virgil, smiling at them. “That looks really  _gourd_! Maybe you should’ve been a pumpkin carver instead of a writer.” He joked, and Virgil blew their hair out of their face.

“Not enough money in pumpkin carving, I checked.”

Patton laughs, hugging Virgil around their shoulders. God, he loved them so much. They were so amazing. Virgil blushed slightly at the close contact and focused on the pumpkin, Patton watching silently. Once Virgil was finally done, they sat back with a soft sigh.

“Well, you should enter that, you’d definitely win!” Virgil smirks and rolls their eyes. “I’m the judge, Pat.” Patton blinks.

“Oh, right…. Do you wanna see mine?”

Virgil raises an eyebrow and nods, and Patton gets up to grab his pumpkin, hidden behind all the rest. His heart is pounding as he places it next to Virgil’s pumpkin, smiling as he sits back down. This was a huge risk, honestly, and he was just hoping that Virgil wouldn’t be mad he wasted a pumpkin. Virgil just stares at it silently for a moment, and Patton starts to worry that they really will get mad. He chews on his bottom lip, watching intently. Slowly, Virgil’s face turns red, and they glance down at their lap and nod. Patton squeals and hugs Virgil tightly, knocking the both of them to the ground. Virgil opens their mouth to protest, but Patton cuts them off by kissing them (he’s going to have black lips now, great). Patton was right, today was great.

On the table, in front of all the other pumpkins, sits a mostly-finished carving of Jack and Sally on a hill. Next to it, a crudely carved out Jack-O-Lantern with a storm cloud and a heart with glasses, separated by five jagged words.

_Will you be my boyfriend?_


	2. This is Halloween (Everybody Make a Scene)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Trick-or-Treating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paring: LAMP/CALM
> 
> Summary: Patton really wants to go trick-or-treating and manages to convince his boyfriends, but not everyone is as enthusiastic as him about the idea of adult trick-or-treaters. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: genderfluid Patton, some anxiety but let’s be honest I can’t write anything with Virgil without him freaking out at some point, mean suburban mom, can anyone feel my distaste for the suburbs yet?

Patton couldn’t believe no one was going trick-or-treating this year! Sure, they were all adults, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t have fun on Halloween. For some people, this meant going to haunted houses, or throwing parties, or watching horror movies. However, Virgil’s anxiety, Logan’s too-logical standpoint, and Roman’s tendency to have vivid nightmares for days when he was scared meant that the four couldn’t exactly participate in these things. That was fine with them; they didn’t need to go to crowded, noisy parties or scare themselves on purpose. That’s why they went trick-or-treating!

At least, they used to. The four of them had practically grown up together (with the exception of meeting Virgil in middle school) and they’d always trick-or-treated together for as long as Patton could remember. The tradition even carried on into high school, though Virgil was a little more reluctant after freshman year, which confused Patton (they always managed to talk him into it at the last minute though). Now that they’d graduated and were making plans for their future, the two calmer men had taken it as a sign to stop with the tradition. It was unacceptable!

Patton had been blowing up their group text for weeks with Halloween memes and requests to join him for trick-or-treating for the past few weeks, and so far, all he’d gotten was a confirmation from Roman – who he knew would never skip out on trick-or-treating – and a series of ‘lol’s from Virgil. Logan blatantly ignored anything to do with Halloween, instead sending the other three reminders to get to bed on time, do their assignments, or set their alarms for work. And he called  _Patton_  the worrywart.

Patton huffs as he checks his phone, shouldering his bookbag as he leaves his English class. Nothing from any of his boyfriends. Of course. Virgil was either asleep - seeing as he worked nights – or doing homework weeks before it was due – and Roman was undoubtedly at the theater rehearsing. He wouldn’t answer his phone for anything short of a fire. Someone shoulder-checked Patton, muttering something about ‘inconsiderate’ and ‘phones’, but Patton chose to ignore them. He wouldn’t let one grumpy gus sour his good mood!

He sends another message then pockets his phone, heading to the cafeteria. He just had to wait until Logan got out of class and Virgil got to school. He grabs their usual table in the corner of the cafeteria and sets his stuff spread out across the table, effectively reserving the space and letting himself drift off in thought. He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting like this when someone knocked on the table, startling him out of his thoughts. He looks up, smile growing on his face as he takes in Logan standing in front of him. He jumps up, darting to the other side of the table and pulling his boyfriend into a tight hug.

“Logan! Did you get out of class early?” Logan hugs back, his hold gentle but firm. “No, I believe you were simply stuck in your thoughts again, Patton.” Patton grins, letting go of Logan and rocking back on his feet.

“Well, I can’t help it! I was thinking about you-“ Logan blushes. “-and how much fun we’re gonna have trick-or-treating!” Logan blinks, processing what Patton said and groaning. “You’re still going on about that? I thought I told you, we’re far to old to be participating in such juvenile activities.” Patton sighs softly and gives Logan his best Kicked Puppy face. He can’t say no to that!

“No, Patton.”

“… Fine.” Patton wasn’t giving up, though. He will get Logan and Virgil to agree! The two sit down, Logan sitting across from Patton, quickly launching into conversation about their classmates and crazy professors. Virgil shows up not long after, slumping into the chair beside Patton and tiredly accepting his hug.

“Hey V! Did you get lots of sleep?” Virgil shrugs, splaying out over the chair like a true Disaster Gay™. “I slept a few hours last night.” Patton pouts, slumping his shoulders. “Then what’ve you been doing all day?” Virgil looks at his lap, picking at his nails. Patton frowns. “You were pacing your room worrying again, weren’t you?” Virgil doesn’t say anything. Patton’s frown deepens and he rotates his chair to fully face Virgil, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and folding his hands together. “Come on, Virge, talk to us. What’s wrong?”

Virgil looks off at some distant corner as he speaks, unable to make eye contact. “I… Well, you want to go trick-or-treating this year…” Patton perks up slightly. “… I want to too, you know I love Halloween, but… Logan’s right. We’re too old. What if people stare at us? Or get mad at us? I don’t want some suburban mom sneering at us in front of a bunch of kids…” He shrugs, picking at his cuticles. “It’s dumb, I shouldn’t be worried about this, but I am. Sorry.”

Patton shakes his head and takes Virgil’s hands, stopping his nervous habit, his eyes drawn to the blue bracelet on Patton’s wrist. “Hey, none of that. Your worries are always valid, because they’re something that matters to you… If you really don’t want to go trick or treating this year, we don’t have to. But! If we do, it’ll be a ton of fun, whether something happens or not.” He notices Virgil’s expression, tacking on, “And if something does happen, you know me, Lo, and Ro will be right there with you to give ‘em what for!” He pulls back to mime an upper cut and Virgil snrks. Patton’s smile re-appears, and he squeezes the hand he’s still holding. “Whatever you decide to do, I’ll respect your decision, okay?”

Virgil squeezes back, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Thanks, Pat.”

After that, the three boyfriends chat about school, the more resigned mood of the previous conversation quickly forgotten. Logan has to head to astrology not long after, bidding Patton and Virgil farewell and promising to stop by Patton’s apartment tomorrow. Once he’s gone, Patton turns back to Virgil, his bright smile turning to something softer.

“You doing okay now?”

Virgil nods, glancing at his hands. “Yeah… you sure you’d be okay with not trick or treating, though? I know you were really looking forward to it.” Patton’s mouth quirks to the side and he shrugs. “Well, I’ll be kinda bummed, because it’s super fun, but I’d much rather be with you guys than walking around by myself for candy I can buy. It’s about the experience.” He wiggles his eyebrows at Virgil. “But if we do,” He leans over and whispers in Virgil’s ear, smirking when the other shivers. “I have a feeling you’ll  _really_  like my costume.” When he sits back, Virgil’s face is absolutely red. Virgil pulls his hood up and ducks his head down, grumbling under his breath about ‘unfair sexy assholes’. Patton laughs, standing up and patting Virgil on the head.

“I gotta head to class, but I’ll see you tomorrow?” Virgil nods. “Yeah Pat, see you tomorrow.” Patton leans down as Virgil tilts his head up, the two sharing a brief kiss before Patton runs off to class. Virgil was practically guaranteed to come trick-or-treating now! Maybe Logan will be easier to convince now that he’s the only one resisting.

* * *

Patton paces their living room, practically vibrating with excitement. Their boyfriends were coming over!

Okay, so they came over pretty much every free day they had, and they saw Logan and Virgil at school at least three times a week, but still! They’re coming over! And they love them so much! And they were all going to have fun, watch movies, and (if Roman brought over his manipedi set like last time) do their nails! Patton glances at the purple bracelet on their wrist, the stamped-on words reading ‘they/them’. They’d been a gift from Logan when Patton came out as genderfluid. They had a purple one for they/them days, which they were wearing now, a blue one for he/him days, and a pink one for she/her days.

Maybe they’ll have Roman paint their nails purple this time.

A knock sounds at the door, and Patton rushes to answer it, yanking the door open and bouncing on the balls of their feet. Virgil stood on the other side of the doorway, hunched in on himself with his hands shoved in his pockets. His bulky headphones sat around his neck, meaning Virgil was feeling more anxious than usual; he had earbuds, but he used the headphones when he was feeling particularly anxious – they blocked out noise better and made it obvious he didn’t want people talking to him. Patton steps aside, chewing on their lip slightly.

“Kiddo, you know you can just walk in! This apartment is just as much mine as it is any of yours.” Virgil shrugs, sitting on the coffee table. “I know, I just feel weird walking into other people’s homes, even if that person is my-“ He hesitates slightly, and Patton just catches the movement of his eyes glancing down at their wrist. “-datemate. Actually, that makes it more awkward; what if you were making out with Roman? I’ve been humiliated enough.” Patton laughs at that, feeling their cheeks heat up slightly. “Okay, I get it. How about next time you text me and I’ll let you know if it’s safe?”

Virgil nods, propping his feet on the couch. “Sure, sounds good.” He looks around for a moment before adding, “Any idea when the others are going to get here, by the way?” Patton pulls out their phone. “Lo said he’d be here soon, and that was fifteen minutes ago, but you know how he can be.” Virgil chuckles. “Roman said he has to finish running through lines, so he’ll be here around noon. Which is in…” They check their cat wall clock, despite having a phone in their hand. “Twenty minutes!”

Virgil nods, and Patton sits on the couch, starting up a movie. Virgil turns around, sitting criss-cross on the coffee table, and leans back so his head is in Patton’s lap. His chest is hanging precariously in mid-air, making Patton laugh as they card their fingers through Virgil’s plumb-pigmented hair. They’re twenty minutes into the movie when Logan walks in, knocking on the door as he opens it. Patton grins at him from the couch and looks at Virgil’s upside-down face. “See? Lo gets it.” Virgil just sticks his tongue out, making Patton laugh as they turn their attention back to Logan. “Hey Lo! We’re just watching Nightmare Before Christmas, you wanna join?” Logan looks at the TV as he sits in the armchair. “I take it we’re waiting on Roman, then?” The two on the couch nod and Logan sighs softly. “Well, as far as Disney goes, I suppose we could do a lot worse than Nightmare Before Christmas.” Patton claps excitedly and goes to unpause the movie, jumping when the door suddenly opens.

“I want adventure in the great wide somewhere  ̴!”

Virgil smirks. “Then go, no one’s stopping you.”

Roman flops down on the couch, his head on Patton’s shoulder. “But not today ‘cause I am tired ̴.” Patton pats Roman’s head. “Bad day at work?” Roman sighs, shrugging softly. “There’s no such thing as a bad day in theater! But if there was… This would definitely fall into that category.” Patton makes an upset sound, hugging Roman. Virgil sits up and turns around to face the other three, looking at Roman. “What happened? I didn’t think theater nerds ever had bad days; all of you are always way too energetic and happy.” Roman laughs slightly, shaking his head. “It was sort of a Murphy’s Law kind of day. The costumes came back from the cleaners with some sort of disgusting residue on them that we can’t get off, my co-star fell off the stage and got a concussion, the director’s partner is in the hospital… No one could focus, and we’re performing next week.”

Virgil and Logan share a look as Patton rushes to make Roman feel better. “Don’t worry Ro! I’m sure everything will sort itself out and you guys will have a great show!” Roman doesn’t look like he believes them, so they continue. “You know what’d help distract you? Planning for trick-or-treating!” Roman perks up, looking between his partners. “You got them to say yes? We’re going?” Logan shot Patton a look, though the latter didn’t seem too guilty.

“I have agreed to no such thing. Both myself and Virgil have agreed-“

“Actually…. I kind of, maybe, want to go…” Patton and Roman wear twin looks of enthusiasm, and Logan looks at Virgil like he just took the last copy of Sherlock Holmes. “I know, okay. I know. But… They really wanna do it, and we always have fun… So why not? At least one last time.” Patton glances between Logan and Virgil, holding their breath. Roman bounces slightly on the couch, bad day all but forgotten. Logan looks between the other three and sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “… Fine. Are we doing group costumes this year?”

His question was nearly drowned out by enthusiastic cheering.

* * *

Virgil messed with the fabric of his costume, wishing (not for the first time that evening) that he didn’t care about authenticity. This thing was itchy as hell. He looks up in the mirror, plucking at the burlap to pull it away from his arms. His body was thankfully protected by the pillows he was using as stuffing; The Boogey Man was pretty fat for a sack full of bugs. He checked his makeup one last time to make sure it was okay, thankful that it was supposed to be cold tonight and that he wouldn’t be overheating.

“Virge, come on! We’re going to miss all the candy!”

“Patently impossible; people often buy more candy than they could ever hope to distribute to avoid that dilemma.”

“Don’t logic me, Logan! You’re supposed to be Lock, stay in character!”

“I am; Lock is arguably the smartest of the three, next to Shock.”

Virgil shuts his door behind him, joining the other three in the living room. “So Patton’s the smartest, is what you’re saying.” Roman laughs, and Patton tries to stifle a laugh, wrist showing off a pink bracelet. Logan rolls his eyes.

“You know as well as I that Patton is Shock because she is having a ‘she day’, as we have grown to call it. She was going to be Barrel.” Roman throws an arm around Patton’s shoulders, leaning his weight against her slightly. “Well, she does look cute in that little witch dress, don’t you think?” Virgil looks at Patton’s costume, cheeks pinking slightly. He was ninety percent sure Shock’s dress was  _not_  supposed to be that short, or tight. Patton also had a wig on under her witch’s hat, styled to look more like Shock’s crazy hair. It’d taken almost an entire can of hair spray for Roman to get that right, but she looked great, Virgil had to admit.

“I was gonna be Shock even if this was a he or they day, and you know it! You’d never wear this dress, Lo.” Logan rolls his eyes again, adjusting his glasses.

“Yes, well, perhaps we should get going? Roman was insisting on not wasting anymore time.”

Roman jumps to attention, heading for the door. “Right! Off we go, gentleman! And lady.” He adds, winking at Patton and making her giggle. Virgil plucks at the burlap one last time before looking back at his apartment, standing in the doorway. He better not regret this.

* * *

They’d been out for about an hour now, methodically weaving their way through the local neighborhoods. Virgil had been extremely anxious in the beginning, hanging in the back of their little group and staying quiet whenever children would pass with their parents. After enough spontaneous singing (Roman) and peppy jokes and stories (Patton), he’d begun to calm down enough to really enjoy himself. Currently, they were headed down the block, skipping a few houses in favor of making their way to the richer neighborhoods; some kid had told Roman there were full-sized candy bars.

The divide between the social classes was apparent in the decorations; those with plenty of money and financial security were more comfortable blowing cash on fancy decorations like animatronic zombies or demon children. Virgil could see the first houses just ahead when he started catching the stares. And the whispers. The children pointing fingers. Parents squinting or shaking their heads. Virgil looked at the ground, a ball of embarrassment and shame tainting his previously good mood.

Patton noticed Virgil’s sudden silence and looked around, apparently catching on to the same thing as Virgil and hooking her arm in his burlap-clad one. “Hey.” Virgil looks up, eyebrows knit in a silent question. “It’s okay. It’s like Dr. Seuss said! Those who mind don’t matter. Right? Let’s have some fun, Virge.” Virgil looks at Patton’s face, pale with Halloween makeup, and nods. “Right. Sorry, Pat.” Patton just smiles and pats Virgil’s arm, walking with him behind Logan and Roman, who were debating the validity of a malevolent spirit attached to a body of water.

The first couple houses they’d visited did in fact have full-sized candy bars. The homeowners had given the four adults slightly strained smiles with the shouts of “trick-or-treat!” but had handed over the candy nonetheless. Virgil suspected it had something to do with there being children around; they didn’t want to ruin the Halloween spirit by yelling at people in costume. He shrugged it off, repeating Patton’s words in his head.  _Those who mind don’t matter._

The next block or so was full of less-than-pleased adults, muttering comments under their breath that even had Patton frowning a little under her mask that came with the Shock costume. They still got candy, though it was becoming increasingly hard to ignore the stares they were getting, or the comments being thrown in their direction passive-aggressively. Virgil squeezed his eyes shut briefly to ward off the negativity.  _Those who mind don’t matter._

The next couple houses shut their doors as soon as they saw Virgil and his partners.

_Those who mind don’t matter._

Patton didn’t let it get to him, insisting to the others that there’d be more houses further down the road. Besides, they still had the rest of the regular neighborhoods!  _Those who mind don’t matter._

Roman had been telling the other three about the past week of rehearsals, or tech week, as they called it. Virgil was looking over at him over Patton’s shoulder as they all walked, not bothering with the thin sidewalks and instead travelling down the road like many parent groups did with their children. They’d been passing one such group as Roman monologued, waving his hands around. Virgil hadn’t been paying attention and ended up bumping someone with his shoulder, turning to apologize.

“Ah, shi- sorry about that, I-“

“Are you kidding me?” The woman turned to face him, glaring at him with a force Virgil would have thought completely unnecessary if his brain hadn’t just short-circuited.

“I- what?”

By this point, both groups had stopped, noticing the two had stopped. Logan kept Roman and Patton back, watching silently to see if the situation would evolve. The other parents stood behind the woman, keeping their children corralled as she went off on Virgil, who’d already begun to panic.

“Seriously, how old are you? And you’re out here trick-or-treating like some kid? That’s so immature! Not only that, it’s incredibly rude to the children! You’re taking their candy! Don’t you have a job, you little freeloader? Go get your own! What would your mom think if she could see you right now? You should be ashamed of yourself!”

That was enough for Roman. He pushed Logan out of the way, standing between Virgil and the woman. “That’s enough. You have no right to talk to him like that.” The woman scoffed, looking back to the other parents for a moment before turning back to Roman as Patton walked over and wrapped her arms around Virgil. “You all need to get your brains checked. This is a  _kid’s_  holiday, you don’t have the right to interfere with that! Grow up!” Logan joined Roman, his shoulders tense as he regarded the woman with cold indifference.

“I believe it is you who needs to ‘grow up’, madam. My partners and I were simply having a pleasant night. We haven’t bothered anyone who wasn’t okay with this. Several doors have been shut in our face, and we chose to simply walk away rather than demand compensation, as I have seen you do at the house of those lovely Jehovah’s Witnesses. You do realize they don’t celebrate any holiday, don’t you? That was incredibly childish and rude.”

The woman has the sense to look slightly embarrassed at that, and one glance at the other parents shows that they were pretty much in agreement with Logan but hadn’t said anything. Patton joins her boyfriends, still hugging Virgil, whose head is ducked down to hide his face in the hood of his costume (he was glad he’d refused a costume without a hood now). “Yeah! Why do you have to be so mean? He said he was sorry he bumped into you; he’s the sweetest guy I know! I think you need to say you’re sorry.” The woman sputters, looking affronted. “E-excuse me? Apologize? I didn’t-“

“You’re right, you didn’t apologize. That’s not very nice of you, miss. Don’t you want to be a good example for your kiddos?” Patton had that look on her face when she was determined to stand up for something, no matter the cost.

“Mom, seriously, just apologize so we can go? I want more candy.”

Thoroughly embarrassed, the woman stutters her was through an apology. Virgil mutters, “no big” and turns to keep walking, heading toward home. Both groups depart, Logan, Roman and Patton following Virgil with concerned looks. They finally catch up to Virgil at the end of the block, and Roman grabs his shoulder, spinning him around. He still hasn’t looked up from the ground, his hair and the hood obscuring his face. “Hey, come on Storm Cloud, what’s wrong?” Virgil shrugs out of Roman’s hold. “I just wanna go home, okay?” Patton and Roman share a worried look. “Okay… How about we head back to my place and watch Halloween movies?” Virgil shrugs, scuffing his shoe on the asphalt. “Fine, okay. Sure.”

The four head to Roman’s house, Patton holding Virgil’s hand the whole way back and not letting go until they walked through the front door. Logan sat on one end of the couch, and Roman on the other, leaving only the middle cushion for Virgil. He knew what they were up to, sitting between them with a roll of his eyes. Roman wrapped an arm around his shoulder, tucking Virgil’s head into his shoulder and running his fingers through the other’s hair. Logan took one of his hands, running his thumb along Virgil’s palm. Virgil closed his eyes, already feeling himself relax as the title screen for Nightmare Before Christmas played and Patton sat on the floor, leaning back against Virgil’s legs.

They weren’t even ten minutes into the movie when Virgil finally opened his eyes and spoke up. “I’m sorry, guys.” The movie was paused, and all three turned to face Virgil. “For what?” Virgil wasn’t exactly sure who asked; he refused to look up from his lap, and his pulse in his ears was making it hard to hear. Why were heartfelt moments so hard? He chewed on his lip for a moment, trying to force the words out past where they’d gotten stuck in his throat. The others waited patiently, watching Virgil try to draw up the courage to voice his thoughts.

“For ruining Halloween for you guys.”

Roman and Patton open their mouths to object, but Virgil cuts them off; now that he’d managed to say that much, the rest just came flooding out. “I know you were really looking forward to trick-or-treating, especially since we haven’t done it in a few years, and I just made you all come home because I couldn’t get over what one dumb parent said to me. You even said it yourself, Patton; those who mind don’t matter. It shouldn’t matter to me, but it does for some reason and I can’t get it out of my head. I feel like an idiot-.” Virgil’s voice chokes off as he feels tears well in his eyes. Great, first he ruins trick-or-treating, and now he’s going to cry. Perfect, good job, Virgil.

Roman tightens his hold on Virgil, and Logan resumes stroking his palm gently. Patton takes his free hand, drawing his focus. “Virgil. Do you remember what I said when I was trying to convince you and Lo to go trick-or-treating with me and Ro?” Virgil tried to think back. “…Your costume was gonna be hot?” Patton laughs and shakes her head. “Well, yeah, but not what I meant. I said I’d rather sit inside watching movies all night than trick-or-treating, if it was with all of you. Remember?” Virgil nods, cheeks slightly pink. Patton smiles. “I meant it, Virge. If I have you three, I’m fine watching grass grow!” Virgil laughs softly.

“Okay, I get it…. Thanks, Pat. Thanks guys.” The other two nods silently, cuddling closer to Virgil. As verbose as Roman could be, Patton was better at truly expressing how they all felt. Especially at times like this. Patton turns back to the TV, unpausing the movie and singing along to What’s This. Virgil’s smile softens his face as he closes his eyes again, truly allowing himself to relax in the presence of his boyfriends and non-binary datemate. Maybe tonight hadn’t been so bad after all.


	3. The Pumpkin King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Pumpkin Carving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Halloween is coming up and Patton wants to carve pumpkins with his friends-turned-roomies. Virgil hasn’t even looked at a pumpkin in years, and the others are about to find out why. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human AU, pumpkin carving, lots of angst for like the first half, mentions of cancer, minor character death but it’s just mentioned

Ah yes, October. Virgil’s favorite month, no contest. He loved it all; the fall festivals, the decorations, haunted houses, caramel apples, black-and-orange everything, the pop-up Halloween stores that had hundreds of costumes and dozens of jump-scare props, pumpkin pies and Halloween movies.

And carving pumpkins.

That was arguably his very favorite thing about October. He loved the entire process; going to a pumpkin patch at seven in the morning, still yawning over a cup of coffee (or hot chocolate when he was a kid), scouring the field for the perfect pumpkin, holding onto it as they drove home, taking it home and planning the perfect carving, waiting for the perfect time to carve it so it didn’t rot before Halloween. Sometimes if his dad didn’t mind, he’d carve it early and just get a second one to carve so they’d have a fresh one for Halloween. His dad would always do it with him, even when he’d grown well past the years of needing an adult present as a safety precaution. It was their thing, their special activity that they shared.

It was never really a competition, not really, but they would always joke with each other that they’d completely wipe the floor with the other. They’d see who could find the best pumpkin, rubbing the other’s nose in their perfect find on the way home. They’d tease each other with vague whispers of what they were planning to carve. They’d sit back to back so neither could peek at what the other was carving, and once they’d both finished they’d spin around with their newly-made Jack-O-Lanterns like a Texas quick draw. Virgil’s dad always insisted that Virgil won, even when Virgil knew his dad was more skilled (particularly when Virgil was just a kid); he was just nice like that.

Virgil’s dad had been the one to teach Virgil about carving. Not just pulling a picture out of a book and tacking it onto the pumpkin to make a connect-the-dots outline, but to really consider what you wanted to make, to think in more three-dimensional terms and create something that could glow in the dark and give off the impression that you were looking at real art. His dad always said a true artist could make beauty out of anything. Virgil always thought his dad must be the best artist in the world, then.

Then the best artist in the world got stomach cancer. Stage 3.

His dad had been complaining of a stomach ache, and being the overly-anxious, loving son he was, Virgil insisted he see a doctor after it lasted more than a day. His dad had waved him off, saying that he probably just had a stomach bug and that he’d be fine. It wasn’t interfering with his work or his life, it was just kind of inconvenient. Virgil chose to trust his dad; he was the adult, he knew what he was doing, right?

He insisted he was fine when the stomach aches had only gotten worse.

He promised he was okay when they lasted a month.

He was barely eating, because he’d get full quickly, and it was making him lose weight. Too much weight. He looked gaunt, and it scared Virgil. He was the one who was supposed to look malnourished, not his dad. He was supposed to be the one not getting any sleep, not his dad.

But neither of them were supposed to vomit blood, so when he’d walked in on his dad doing it he’d nearly fainted. He hadn’t even hesitated to haul his dad to his feet (gently, have to be gentle, you don’t know why he’s throwing up blood and you don’t want to make it worse) and walk him to the car. Virgil had just gotten his license last week and he thanked every god and deity he could think of for that as he buckled first his dad and then himself, starting up the car. It’d been the most nerve-wracking time he’d ever been behind the wheel to date. When his hands wouldn’t stop shaking he’d gripped the steering wheel so tight his fingers were white.

Hours later, the doctor finally gave the diagnosis to Virgil and his dad in a too-white room. He’d assured them that with the right treatment, and a little luck, his dad would be just fine, and would live to see Virgil’s kids graduate.

The next few months were torture. It felt like Virgil was going from bed to school to the hospital in an endless restless loop. When it used to be next to impossible to fall asleep before 2 AM, now Virgil struggled to stay awake with his dad as they waited in a hospital on late nights. Eating endlessly, shoveling crap food into his mouth any chance he got turned into eating once a day, twice if his dad gave him The Look. His dad was always tired, almost always sick. Well, how could you not be sick when you had cancer? But despite the nausea and pain and discomfort, his dad was always smiling, always cracking jokes and making puns and trying to keep the smile on his son’s face.

He hadn’t lived to see Virgil graduate.

Virgil had never been one to trust doctors.

Near the end, Virgil had managed to get a job. Now that he didn’t have a dad to worry about, any time not spent at school or sleeping was spent working. He was never home long enough for the silence to get to him. He did his homework at work during break and between classes. He only set foot in the house to go straight to bed. He no longer replied to texts sent by friends, didn’t give his concerned teachers more than a grunt when they asked how he was doing. It was none of their business.

He graduated two months after his dad passed away, no one in the bleachers to cheer as he grabbed his diploma.

He’d had to give up the house, unable to pay the bills and mortgage on his meager salary. His boss gave him three days off to pack up and move once he’d managed to find an apartment. He packed up his room, the bathroom, the living room and kitchen, a couple things from his dad’s room; the rest was sold to pay for moving expenses. He’d ended up moving clear across the city and was no longer spending every waking moment away from home. The next few months were a blur, any time not spent working or sleeping was spent simply zoning out in front of the TV.

The first time he’d walked into the grocery store and seen the boxes full of pumpkins, he’d cried.

The next week, however, he grabbed his wallet and keys and headed to the nearest pumpkin patch. He’d walked around for nearly two hours, looking over the pumpkins as if expecting the perfect one to just jump up and shout “Here! Pick me!” He’d been zoning out when he almost walked right into a boy and his father, out looking for pumpkins. He’d apologized quickly and continued walking, but he couldn’t help but be drawn to their conversation.

“Hey, look! Over there, I found it!”

“Wow, that’s pretty big, you think you can pick it up, buddy?”

“Of course I can, dad, I’m strong!”

Virgil grabbed the nearest pumpkin, paying the old woman who was running the pumpkin patch, and left.

He’d been sitting there for hours staring at the pumpkin, willing it to tell him what to carve, but as the clock ticked the hours away and the sun set in the sky, Virgil was beginning to grow frustrated. He picked up a tool, pumpkin already gutted, and blindly started working. He let his thoughts race, not paying any mind to what he was doing, letting his hand carve through the pumpkin without a thought. When he finally comes out of his mind, he looks at the pumpkin. His dad’s smiling face stares back at him. He silently pushes his chair back and heads to bed.

The next day, the pumpkin is mysteriously smashed at the bottom of the stairs leading to Virgil’s apartment.

“And I haven’t carved one since then.” Virgil shrugs, his hands fidgeting in his lap, refusing to look up at the other three. The silence stretches on, making Virgil’s anxiety ramp up. He knew he shouldn’t have said anything. He should’ve just carved the damn pumpkin. He hears shifting and he can’t take it anymore. He has to know. He looks up, surprised to see not just Patton, but Roman and Logan crying as well. He blinks, mouth opening and closing but unable to force any words out.

It’s Patton who finally breaks the silence, throwing himself into Virgil’s arms and hugging him tightly. Virgil can’t make out much of what he’s saying, blubbering through his tears and rubbing his face into Virgil’s chest. Virgil awkwardly hugs him back, rubbing his back and looking at the wall so he didn’t have to see the other two crying. “It…. It’s okay, Pat, really.”

“It’s n-not okay! That- That was your d- _dad_  and you  _loved_  him, and y-you carved pumpkins together and h-he’s  _gone,_  and I was t-trying to replace him! I’m s-so sorry!” Virgil pulled Patton back, holding him by his shoulders to look him in the eye. “Whoa, whoa. Hold on. You were  _not_  trying to replace my dad, Pat. You had no idea. Everyone carves pumpkins, it’s like, a necessity in October.” Patton’s lip quivers. Logan discreetly wipes his own tears, adjusting his glasses before speaking up.

“Perhaps, if you are up for it, carving a pumpkin can be a sort of cathartic way to both grieve your father and move on.” Virgil looks up at Logan, brows knit together. “I understand that this was an activity that you participated in with your father, and therefore it’s very special to you in that regard. You’ve built it up to this grand thing that must meet your expectations, but that is no longer possible without your father. Perhaps the point is to embrace this fact?” Virgil’s mouth quirks to the side.

“Still not following.”

Logan smiles a bit and continues. “Rather than focusing on how participating in pumpkin carving is no longer the same, and seeing it in a negative light, perhaps you should embrace this difference. Yes, it will never be the same, because he’s gone, but that doesn’t mean it can no longer be enjoyable. Perhaps by carving pumpkins with us and building new positive experiences, you can both use the activity to mourn your father and let go of the pain you’re holding close to your heart.”

Patton had stopped crying to listen to Logan, and now all three men were staring at Logan. “That was… Really smart, Logan.” Roman muttered, blinking as he realized how that probably came off. “I mean- you’re the smartest of the four of us, but that was… Emotionally smart? Oh, you know what I mean.” Patton giggled softly. Logan huffed softly, not actually offended. “Yes, well, even I can have my moments.” He looks down at Virgil, who’s still sitting on the couch. “So? Does that sound like a good idea?”

Virgil looked down at his hands, picking at his cuticles. Patton reached over and took Virgil’s hands, giving him The Look. He laughs shakily and nods. “Y-yeah. Okay. Let’s do it. Just… If I start crying and anyone says anything, I  _will_  leave.” Patton looks at him with sad eyes and Roman just nods, arms crossed uncomfortably over his chest. “Of course, we understand.”

With that, the other three move to the dining room to set up the pumpkins, setting each one on a cutting board in an effort to keep some of the mess off of the table. Patton finds the tools, setting them in the middle of the small table well within reach of each person. Virgil rests his elbows on his knees, covering his face with his hands and taking a few deep breaths. He hadn’t even bothered to  _buy_  a pumpkin since that time, did he really think he could just sit down and carve one without feeling…. What? He wasn’t even sure what he was feeling right now.

Something kept coming to the front of his mind, though he tried to ignore it.  _Would dad forgive me if I did this?_  It was a stupid thought; it wasn’t like his dad ever made him promise not to carve a pumpkin without him, and like he said, everyone carved pumpkins – they didn’t own the exclusive rights. Yet somehow it felt like he’d be betraying his dad. Virgil takes another deep breath, scrubbing his eyes in irritation. Come on Virgil, get over yourself.

The couch dips next to him, and Virgil looks up to see Patton giving him a soft smile, eyes full of concern. “Are you sure you’re okay with this, kiddo?” Virgil looks at his hands and nods. “Yeah, I am. Really. Logan could be right, and if he is, I should at least try, right?” Patton hugs Virgil from the side, smiling into his shoulder. “I’m proud of you. I know this can’t be easy.”

Virgil huffs in amusement. “Yeah. Self-help and growth and all that shit.”

“Language.”

Virgil really laughs at that. “Right, my bad.”

Patton stands up, holding a hand out to Virgil. Virgil takes his hand and stands up, letting Patton lead him to the table and taking the only empty spot at the table. The four chat easily as they work, and Virgil lets himself focus on what he’s working on, occasionally adding his own comment to the conversation. The others don’t bug him or pressure him to contribute more, letting him work in peace, and he’s thankful for that. It’s not that he’s having a hard time, he just really wants this to be perfect.

Patton is the first to finish, and no one is surprised to see that he carved a cat. It’s the typical silhouette, no detail, and that was perfectly fine. Simplistic, but cute; very Patton (in the best meaning, of course). Logan finishes his next, showing the others. Patton is still sitting at the table so he can talk to the other three, and he gasps loudly when he sees Logan’s pumpkin. “That’s so cool! … What is it?” Logan’s pumpkin seemed to have a bunch of circles and lines carved out of it. Logan pushed his glasses up his face to hide his smirk, but Virgil definitely saw it. “It’s binary code, wishing all who look upon it a happy Halloween.” Patton squeals, jumping up and running around the table to hug Logan. “Awww, Lo! That’s so sweet! And educational!” Logan blushes slightly and adjusts his glasses again. “Yes, well… Thank you, Patton.” Patton hums happily and sits back down. Roman is next, having carved a more detailed version of the Disney logo. Of course. The three men look at Virgil, the final person to reveal his pumpkin, and Virgil glances up briefly before going back to his pumpkin with a simple, “Not done.”

Logan shares looks with Roman and Patton, who shrug at him, and the three wait patiently. Conversation flows seamlessly as they discuss Halloween plans, how work is going, gossiping about coworkers, and everything else under the sun. The four of them had always clicked perfectly (somehow) and never had much trouble finding something to talk about. It was late into the night when Virgil finally sat back, the sound of his tools being set down making the other three go quiet. Virgil simply stares back at the pumpkin with a considering expression, and after a moment Logan scoots his chair over to better see the pumpkin.

Roman and Patton take the hint and get up, walking behind Logan and Virgil to see the pumpkin as well. As soon as Patton can see it, his hands fly up to cover his mouth. Roman is oddly quiet. Virgil can’t help but find the silence a bit unsettling, too reminiscent of the silence that had preceded their pumpkin carving. He spares a sideways glance at Logan, trying to read his expression. He looks… surprised? Awed? Virgil can’t quite tell. He gathers up the courage to tilt his head back and look at the other two. He takes in Patton’s shocked face and Roman’s blank expression and pales, turning back to the pumpkin.

“It…. It’s not that good, I know. Like I said, it’s been years. I could’ve done something simple I guess but I just… couldn’t. Sorry.” A hand rests on his shoulder, and he looks up at Patton, who’s shaking his head.

“Virge, it’s…. It’s amazing.”

Roman squats to be eye level with Virgil, looking at the anxious male before glancing back at the pumpkin. If anyone was going to be honest with him, it’d be Roman. Virgil braces himself. “It’s not just amazing. It’s  _perfect_.” Virgil’s eyes widen, and he looks between Roman and the pumpkin. “Are we looking at the same gourd, Prince? Look at the faces-“

“I am, Virgil. This is honestly the best picture of us I’ve ever seen. Aside from a photograph, of course.” He straightens up, shaking his head with disbelief. “Your dad taught you how to do that?”

Virgil looks over the carved faces of himself and his best friends, shrugging slightly. “Yeah, mostly. He taught me the techniques. I  _am_ an artist…. He was too.” Patton’s arms wrap around his shoulders from behind and he leans back into the contact, smiling slightly. He guessed it was pretty good. His thoughts are interrupted when Patton whines sadly, sighing. “…Pat?”

“It’s gonna rot, Virge. That’s so sad!”

The four go silent as the words sink in. Virgil had never really considered how impermanent his carvings were; it hadn’t seemed like much of a loss. Suddenly he wished he hadn’t broken the Jack-O-Lantern of his dad all those years ago. Logan takes out his phone and reaches in front of Virgil’s face, startling him into leaning back. The tell-tale shutter sound of the phone’s camera is heard before Logan pockets his phone again. “There, now we shall have proof of this masterpiece even once it has decomposed.”

The four of them move to grab their pumpkins, carrying them out front and setting them along the walkway, sticking candles in them and lighting the wicks.

“Can we watch Corpse Bride?”

“That’s not really a Halloween movie, Pat.”

“Anything by Tim Burton is a Halloween movie. Change my mind.”

“….. Okay, you have a point, but did you two just hear what I heard? Did Dark and Stormy just  _meme_?”

“Maybe so.”

A groan. “Logan, not you too!” The front door shuts, cutting off the rest of the conversation.


	4. But Who Here Would Ever Understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Sunsets & Sweaters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Moxiety
> 
> Summary: Patton and Virgil have both had hard days at work, so they decide to take a little walk and talk about Serious Business™.
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Virgil has Borderline Personality, Patton is a transmale, poor bois, hot chocolate, sweaters, sunsets

Virgil slams the front door shut, grumbling as he enters the apartment he shares with his boyfriend of four years, Patton. He’d just come home from possibly the worst day of work this year – no, not quite, don’t be dramatic. This month. – and honestly, he just wanted to punch a hole in a wall, scream into the abyss, and take a really long nap (though you’d be hard-pressed to find a day where he didn’t feel that exact feeling at least once). Patton would be home soon, but for now Virgil had the place to himself, so he paced back and forth across the living room in front of the couch, his thoughts running rampant.

He knew rationally that he should be calming himself down, that letting himself be swept up in these big mood swings wasn’t good and he wasn’t helping himself in the slightest, but that’s the thing about going from zero to eighty in two seconds; he didn’t care. His hands move up to grip his hair, his teeth grinding, his pulse racing as his feet work a groove into the carpet. He lets a frustrated, almost animalistic scream rip from his throat and he kicks the couch, his boots keeping him from hurting his toes. He falls out of step when the front door opens, startled slightly by the noise (how long has he been pacing?), Patton shuffling through the doorway and setting his messenger bag on the dining room table.

He looks up, noticing Virgil for the first time, and frowns. Without a word, he crosses the apartment and stops Virgil’s pacing by pulling him into a hug. Virgil huffs, though he’s not mad at Patton; he just needs to get all of this pent-up energy out. He hugs Patton back, resting his chin on Patton’s head. Patton speaks up, voice slightly muffled by Virgil’s hoodie. “You too, huh?” Virgil frowns at the implication of the question but nods nonetheless. Patton sighs, squeezing Virgil a little tighter. Virgil chews on his lip, a cornsnake of anger slithering in his chest. He knows whatever happened with Patton is just going to piss him off more, but not knowing is going to drive him crazy, and Patton needs to talk about his feelings.

“What happened with you?”

Patton was reluctant to answer, Virgil could feel it in the way his shoulders tensed up. Virgil taps his boyfriend’s back between his shoulder blades, and Patton forces himself to relax, refusing to let go of Virgil as he finally mumbles out, “Got misgendered a lot today.” Virgil blinks. Did he hear that right? “You got misgendered?” Patton nods. So he had heard correctly, then. “Yeah, lotta my coworkers misgendered me. It’s fine though, really, I promise!” He rushes to reassure Virgil when he feels the other tense up under his hands on his back. “Virge, baby, they were probably distracted and forgot, it happens!” Virgil shakes his head, face already set into a grimace and hands fisting in the other’s shirt. “No way, Pat. You’ve been working there for two years. There’s no way they weren’t doing it on purpose.”

When Patton only sighs in response, Virgil pulls away to resume his pacing, shoving his hands in his pockets. After a moment, he pulls them out to drag one through his hair. His hands flex, clenching and unclenching, and he shakes them out, if only to dispel some of the manic energy he’s feeling. Patton watches patiently, eyebrows knit slightly with concern.

“Honestly, how fucking hard it is to not be a fucking piece of shit?”

“Language.”

Virgil ignores him. “It’s a fucking pronoun, it’s not rocket science. Oh, you prefer male pronouns? Fuckin’ sweet, guess you’re a bro now. You prefer they/them? Okay, you can be my palhoncho, or fuck, who even cares, just  _use the right pronouns I’m not speaking fucking Latin_. And how hard is it to just sit on a fucking horse and let it take you somewhere? Don’t fucking dig your feet into its ribs, don’t send it sprinting down the goddamn path, don’t make me have to chase you for two fucking miles! It’s common fucking sense!”

Patton has to stop Virgil pacing again, taking Virgil’s hands in his to keep them from pulling on his hair. Patton uses a hand to grip Virgil’s chin lightly and force Virgil to look at him, exaggerating his breathing. Virgil takes the hint, remembering Dr. Picani’s instructions and taking a moment to calm himself down. Once Patton was sure he was okay, he let go of Virgil’s shoulders, studying the other’s face in silence for a moment.

“C’mon, let’s go get some air.” He smiles gently at Virgil, who takes a step forward and wraps his arms around Patton instead, one hand rubbing his back softly as he kisses his temple. His hand pauses and he sighs through his nose. “Pat, you should probably take the binder off.” Patton whines, shaking his head. “I don’t want to… Besides, it hasn’t been 8 hours!” Virgil pulls back, squinting down at his boyfriend. “Like hell it hasn’t, you got dressed an hour early today, remember?”

Patton sighs and nods. “Okay… I’m putting on one of your big sweaters then. You wanna change too? You smell like horses. And poop. Actually, I’m pretty sure horses smell like poop.” Virgil laughs and nods, following Patton to their room and digging through the closet for his winter and fall clothes before handing Patton a sweater. He turns so he’s facing away from Patton, stripping out of his shirt and pants and changing into a sweater and sweat pants. “Pat, you should change into sweat pants too.”

“Oh, good idea! Okay.”

After they’ve both changed, they grab their wallets and keys and head out. They link their fingers together, Patton smiling brightly and the corners of Virgil’s mouth upturned just enough for someone to notice. They head down the stairs, Patton humming softly under his breath and Virgil pretending to be annoyed. They walk in relative silence for a while, both having a general idea of where they were going, and when they end up at the local park Virgil can feel himself relaxing further, taking Patton along the familiar path that winds along the perimeter of the park until they end up at a small hill.

Patton lets go of Virgil’s hand to run to the top, Virgil following behind at a much more carefree pace, and the two sit together, pressed against each other’s sides. The park itself is above a large portion of the city, so the two can see plenty of their home from up on the hill. There are splotches of reds, yellows, and oranges interspersed throughout the city, moving gently in the breeze and broken up by buildings (or maybe it’d be more accurate to say the buildings are broken up by the trees?). Patton rests his head on Virgil’s shoulder and Virgil wraps an arm around Patton as the two of them gaze silently over the city.

The sun starts to set not long after they get there, Virgil feeling an odd (at least, for him) sense of peace as pinks and purples bleed into the blue that had dominated the sky for so long. Clouds capture the colors and make them appear more vividly, as though an artist had been testing colors before diluting them to use them as the final product, the sunset. He looked over at Patton, taking in the other’s serene expression, the way the sunlight brightened his face, the glimmer of happiness in his eyes. Virgil’s chest hurt, a knot forming in the base of his throat, and he had to fight to keep a smile off his face. God, he loved this man so much.

Patton looks over at Virgil and his smile widens. “I love this weather, I wish it could be fall all the time!” Virgil scoffs lightly, looking away. The pain in his chest only lessens a tiny bit. “I don’t; winter is where it’s at. Constant rain, cloudy skies, biting winds and shorter days.” Patton hums. “But you like fall too.”

Virgil nods, then shrugs slightly. “Well, yeah, but it’s still hot like eighty percent of the time.”

Patton laughs. “True! But that just means you can enjoy the pool!”

“Patton.”

“What?”

“You know how I feel about public pools.”

Patton just laughs louder at that. “Yeah, I know. Maybe someday we can get a house with a real pool! One we don’t have to share with little kids.” They lapse back into silence after that. Virgil doesn’t think he’s felt this calm in a while; a few weeks at least. It’s nice, but he can’t help but worry it won’t happen again. That’s how it always was with him; he could guarantee you that he’d go into a rage or be too depressed to move, but he could never say for certain when’s the next time he’d feel content to just  _be_. “Hey Virgil?”

Virgil blinked, startled out of his thoughts, and glanced at Patton. “Yeah, Pat?”

Patton wasn’t looking at him, eyes instead trained on the city below, as if he could see the people milling about from this distance and he was just people watching. “So you have BPD.” Virgil raises an eyebrow, waiting a moment to see if Patton will continue. When it’s obvious he’s waiting for a response, Virgil sighs softly and says, “Yes, Patton. I had it before we met and it hasn’t gone away. Your point?” He could feel himself get annoyed, and now he was getting annoyed that he was getting annoyed. God dammit.

“Well…. What’s it like? I know you tried to explain it once, but… Can you try again? I really want to understand.”

Virgil rests his elbows on his knees, leaning forward slightly and picking at his cuticles. “There’s a lot, Pat.”

“Just tell me what you know. And what you’re comfortable talking about.”

Virgil nods, pulling at the skin of his ring finger as he begins. “Well…. It’s really intense. And fast, I think. It’s like someone took the dial for emotions, cranked it to eleven, and broke it so I can’t turn it back. Everything kind of has a… physical effect? When I’m happy, it’s kind of hard to breathe, and my chest feels like it’s full of helium. When I speak, it feels like my words are people, running down my tongue and tripping over each other to get out. I get really jittery- you know what I mean, you’ve seen it.” Patton flails his hands, and Virgil nods.

“Yeah, like that. And when I’m angry, it burns. Like there’s acid in my chest and in my stomach. Everything is tense, and it feels like the only way to let the acid out is to say what I’m feeling, or just… yell. It’s… too easy to say horrible things, which kind of freaks me out. It’s like the words have no weight to them, they just fly out of my mouth. When I’m sad, my head feels full of water, or cotton. Kind of depends on the kind of sad, I think. My words get stuck in my throat, like they’re too sticky. Being anxious isn’t too different, honestly, except it’s static. And all of this is happening multiple times a day, without my control or say-so, and it’s kind of exhausting. And that’s just the emotions.”

Patton turns so he’s fully facing Virgil, who’s picking at his cuticles in earnest now, his heartrate picking up slightly. “From what I understand, there’s like… nine things we all have in common. People with BPD, I mean.” He glances at Patton quickly before staring at his hands again. “An unstable self-image, as well as an unstable image of other people and relationships….” His words catch in his throat. He thinks back to the fights they’ve had over the years, most of them because Virgil tried to break up with Patton but Patton wouldn’t let him. Even back then, Patton knew Virgil better than he knew himself, where it counted.

Patton puts a hand on Virgil’s knee, and that’s all the encouragement he needs to continue. “It tends to fluctuate between idealization and devaluation. Uh… Makes keeping people around really hard, even if you want to. Figuring out what you actually want is pretty frustrating too, honestly. It’s ironic, because it also comes with this intense fear of abandonment.” He laughs a little brokenly, picking at the skin of his finger until it’s started to bleed. “Can you imagine how many people I’ve annoyed and pissed off because I go from worshipping the ground they walk on to treating them like an annoying customer, then get clingy when they want to leave? Then there’s the compulsive behavior, which is honestly probably the most normal thing about all of this shit; everyone’s got some kind of compulsion. And when you’re not severely emotional or worrying about being alone you’re just fucking- empty. Everything’s empty, that’s your baseline. There’s no content-to-exist, happy-go-lucky, or any of that. You just exist, and you don’t know why and it feels like you can’t feel, until you inevitably blow up on someone and then you’re starting the whole thing over again.”

He looks up, the sun finally dipping below the horizon and the sky darkening into deep purples and blues. They should probably head home soon, but he doesn’t want to get up. Besides, Dr. Picani had suggested he find someone to talk to in his extremely limited circle of friends; who better than his boyfriend, who’s seen him at his worst? “Did you know uh…. There’s like, fuck, I think it’s somewhere between a fifty to seventy percent suicide rate for people with BPD? We kind of uh… self-harm. But you knew that.” He picks at the chapped skin of his bottom lip, muttering to the clouds. “I worry about that a lot. On empty days I wonder why I haven’t just done it yet, because if there’s a fifty-fifty chance it’ll happen – at least that – then what’s the point in resisting? But then I remember you.”

He looks over at Patton finally, shocked to find tears on his face. Virgil never understood where the expression “white-hot shame” came from; his shame always feels like dumping ice water on a campfire. He pulls Patton close, hugging him tightly and running his hand through the other’s hair as he shushes him softly. “No, hey, come on… Please don’t cry, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. That was fucked up, really. I’m sorry.” Patton shakes his head, pulling away so he can look Virgil in the eye.

“N-no, don’t be sorry,  _I’m_  sorry. You’ve been going through all of that alone for years and I haven’t done anything to h-help you.” Virgil frowns. “Babe, you help me every day, honest. You’ve calmed me down at least what, twice? Today alone? You give me a reason to stick around. You convinced me to start seeing Dr. Picani. You give me more happy moments, which is huge. I’d much rather be suffocating with happiness than burning with anger, trust me.” Patton smiles weakly, allowing Virgil to pull him into another hug and press a kiss to his hair.

“I love you so much… Don’t ever forget that. I know sometimes I’m really bad at showing it, but I’m working on it. Me and Picani, remember? He’s helping me. I want to love you for the rest of my life, I mean that.”

Patton nods against Virgil’s shoulder, content to just sit there hugging Virgil for as long as they both need to. That turns out to be five minutes, because it’s quickly getting dark and the temperature is dropping. Virgil stands up, pulling Patton to his feet and lacing their fingers together. “Come on, let’s go home and have some hot chocolate, okay?” Patton nods, the two of them making their way back down the trail. The sleeves of the sweater Patton is wearing are a little too long for him, covering his hands partway, but Virgil thinks it’s adorable and doesn’t comment when Patton pulls his hand away to rub his hands together to keep them warm.

When they finally get home, Patton sits on the couch tiredly and Virgil heads to the kitchen to make their hot chocolate. He sets the kettle on the stove, leaning against the counter as he waits for it to boil and thinking over everything he said. He’d been scared for the longest time that telling someone all of that would drive them away, especially Patton. It wasn’t that he thought Patton was the kind of person who heard “mental illness” and ran, but… this was a lot, especially since on of the big things was unstable relationships. It wouldn’t be fair to date someone and not tell them though. He was just glad Patton didn’t seem too put-off by it, both when they’d first met and now.

The kettle starts whistling, making Virgil jump and he shoots it a glare as he turns the burner off. He goes to get two mugs, filling each with the powder and water, mixing them before bringing both out to the living room and setting them on the coffee table. He sits next to Patton, and Patton curls into his side before grabbing his own mug and taking a tentative sip. “Thanks, Virge. I love you.”

Virgil purses his lips, his chest tight and his eyes burning. “Love you too, Pat.”

Later that night, after Patton had fallen asleep watching Frankenweenie and Virgil had carried him to bed, Virgil lay beside his sleeping boyfriend, curled up on his side and studying the other’s face. Patton looked absolutely beautiful, face calm and peaceful in his sleep, eyelashes fluttering slightly but eyes staying closed. Virgil had no idea how he got so lucky to end up with someone as amazing as Patton, but he thanked whatever deity was out there that he had. He brushed his fingers against Patton’s cheek, reveling in the warmth that chased up his fingertips.

“Thank you, Patton.”


	5. There are so Many Things I Cannot Grasp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Jumping in Leaves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Logicality
> 
> Summary: Logan hates the fall, because all he can see is the death of nature. Patton loves the fall, because he can push his boyfriend into a pile of rotting plant bodies leaves!
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human AU (which I always forget to tag), idk what else to tag?, jumping in leaves, hhhhhh what a mess, I can feel the leaves scratching me no thanks

Logan hated the fall. Everything was dying, changing from a lustrous green to a disgusting, mucky brown. Leaves fell off trees, leaving an eerie, skeletal frame. Plants withered and crunched underfoot. Flowers began to lose their color as temperatures dropped, reminding all of the impermanence of life. Even the holidays were dreary in nature. Each and every one had something to do with death, whether you were remembering those who’ve died, celebrating a (arguably) historically significant person, or warding off the dead and malevolent. The government and schools passed off these holidays as an important piece of American culture and pawn them off under the guise of remembering history to better yourself from it, but Logan knew it was all a ruse to keep the citizens under its thumb with a false sense of patriotism.

That is neither here nor there, however. A few ridiculous holidays weren’t the source of Logan’s ire for this transitional season. No, the real reason he hated the fall was the leaves. The changing in color was actually quite enjoyable, if you took it at face value. The changes from green to yellow to red, the colors bleeding into one another, was something of a work of art. It had a calmness about it that you couldn’t experience in the spring or summer.

However, such a cycle inevitably led to the leaves dying, turning dirt brown and separating from their branches.  _That_  is what Logan hated. The crisp leaves crunched loudly, disturbing the muted silence of the season, and the soft ones absorbed waters and became a clingy, annoying, slimy  _thing_ , begging to be brought into the house. They got everywhere; you could wipe your shoes on the doormat and you’d still somehow end up bringing leaf fragments and slimy remains into your house or in your car. They smelled strange, like dirt and some smell only dead leaves have that Logan has grown to associate with death.

He never understood how Patton could find the wonder in such a season, or how he could experience joy in performing cumbersome chores such as raking leaves. Every year, Patton would stare out the window, commenting about the changing colors and the falling leaves, calling it beautiful, magical, amazing, and Logan couldn’t bring himself to say anything in return. He couldn’t lie to Patton or partake in his enjoyment. He particularly didn’t want to be honest and ruin the purity of Patton’s views, either. He chose to stay silent, letting Patton muse to himself aloud and wondering if maybe the other’s good mood would rub off on him one of these days.

Every year, without fail, Patton would wait until the tree in the front yard had covered the grass in its discarded leaves and he would head out with a rake and the green waste trash bin. He’d spend all day raking up the mess, and at the end of it all, every year, he would throw himself into the pile. Logan would never understand how he could do that. Not only was Patton wasting hours of effort by sending leaves flying around the yard again, but he was covering his clothes and hair in pieces of leaves that he’d inevitably bring into the house. He’d always insist that it was all worth it, that it was about the experience, not the results, but Logan just resigned himself to the fact that he would never be able to understand it, among other things (like love).

This year, he hadn’t managed to avoid participating in the dreadful activity, though. Patton had cornered him after an all-nighter working on a repot for work and had begged him to help with his puppy dog eyes, and Logan, nursing a mug of black coffee and not really listening to what was being asked, had agreed. Patton cheered and ran off, hiding his mischievous grin behind a cookbook as he got the ingredients out to make pancakes.

Logan should have known better than to agree to things blindly.

Patton dragged him outside, their feet crunch crunch crunching across the lawn, leaf bits sticking to Logan’s shoes and the cuffs of his pants and now those were going to end up in the house. Great. His fist tightens around the trash bags he’s carrying, the soft plastic crinkling in his grasp. Patton smiles up at him, one hand on his hip with the other wrapped around two rakes precariously, and Logan finds his lips upturning into a small smile. “Can you get the trashcan Lo? I forgot.” Patton pouts, and Logan sighs softly. “Of course, Patton.” He turns back, heading over to the side yard as Patton shouts, “Thank you!”

Logan comes back a moment later with the green waste bin to see Patton already raking the yard. He picks up the rake Patton had leaned against the tree and moves to the other side of the yard, figuring it would be more productive to simply approach the task from two directions. Patton hums under his breath, shaking his hips slightly as he rakes, and Logan is content to listen as the two move toward the middle. Logan starts to wonder if Patton’s humming is getting louder when his back collides with something. He turns around, finding Patton  _very_  close, and takes a step back. “Ah, sorry Patton. I did not realize you were so close.”

Patton laughs and waves him off, straightening up. “It’s okay, Lo! I was kinda distracted too.” He smiles brightly and goes back to raking, and Logan sighs, running a hand through his hair. He watches Patton for a moment before shaking himself out of his thoughts and continuing to rake, the two making sure to work around each other now to avoid collisions. The sun is high in the sky when they’re finally done; since two of them did the work, it didn’t take as long. Patton and Logan stood back to admire the decent-sized pile, Patton’s hands on his hips as he grins proudly.

His grin quickly turns into a mischievous smirk as he looks at Logan, and Logan takes a step back, hands held up in defense. “Oh no. Patton, don’t even think about it. That pile is probably teeming with bugs and dirt and-“

“Come on, Lo! Just once! I promise you’ll enjoy it!”

Logan looked from the pile to Patton’s face, studying his expression. Odds are Patton would never push him into the pile if he kept refusing, because he was too nice, but he would definitely be upset. Logan sighs, shoulders slumping as he gives in, dropping his hands. “Fine, but just this o-“ Patton’s smile grows and he jumps at Logan, tackling him into the pile and sending leaves everywhere. They get carried across the lawn on a soft breeze, falling almost in slow motion. Logan shivers, feeling a leaf slip under his shirt and scratch gently at his back. Patton is kneeling above him, supporting his weight on his hands and knees, face crinkled with laughter, a background of soft brown confetti bringing out the green in his hazel eyes. Logan feels his chest warm at the sight, and he can’t help the smile that creeps onto his face.

Patton settles down, though his smile doesn’t dim, and looks down at Logan. “See? I told you it was fun!” Logan turns his face to the side and grabs a leaf, curled into itself and stiff with dehydration. He twirls the stem between his fingers and looks up at Patton. “I suppose you were right, this isn’t as bad as I had originally believed.”

“Sounds like you jumped to a conclusion, Lo-Lo!”

Logan blinks, sinking further into the leaf pile with mild exasperation. He looks up at Patton’s smug grin, the twinkle in his eyes, his arms holding him up on either side of Logan’s head, and his heart skips a beat. “God, I love you.” He feels his face heat up as he realizes what he said, Patton’s grin turning into a bright smile. “I- I mean- that is to say-“ Patton cuts him off, dipping down to share a gentle kiss.

“I love you too, Lo-Lo.”


	6. How Could I be so Blind?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Decorating For Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Moxiety
> 
> Summary: Virgil has never understood the point of decorating. Much less decorating for a season. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human AU, Non-binary Patton, Patton is an elementary school teacher, decorating for fall, there’s like one ‘oh shit’ moment but everything’s okay, cute dorky gays

“I don’t see why we have to do this now.” Virgil grumbled, taping a red paper leaf to the metal door of Patton’s classroom. Patton looked over their shoulder from where they were setting up a cornucopia on their desk at the front end of the room, smiling as they fidget with the fake foods to make them look just right. “Because the kiddos enjoy when the room looks festive! And some of them don’t celebrate Halloween, so I wanna do something inclusive. Everyone likes fall!”

Virgil huffs and adjusts a small fake pumpkin on top of the cubbies separating the entryway from the rest of the classroom. “And I get that, Pat, I really do. You’re a wonderful teacher and all, and I know you love the kids, but why do we have to do this in the middle of the goddamn night?” Patton gasps and spins around, eyes darting around like they expected one of their students to appear at any moment, whisper-yelling, “Language!” Virgil just rolls his eyes and turns around, setting a stuffed turkey (with its own pilgrim hat, of course) on the back countertop.

“And to answer your question, it adds to the magic! If I wait until tomorrow morning to start decorating, the kiddos are gonna get here before I’m done, and they’ll see what I’m doing! It’s so much more magical and amazing if they leave school and come back to find all these nifty decorations already here, don’t you think?” Virgil shrugs, taping a yellow leaf to one of the cabinet doors. “I wouldn’t know; homeschooled, remember?”

Patton slumps, pouting slightly. “I know, it’s so sad! You didn’t get Valentine’s from your classmates! Or come to school in your Halloween costume! Or wear green to avoid getting pinched!” Their lip wobbles, and Virgil turns to look at them. He sighs fondly and crosses the classroom to hug his partner, rubbing their back softly. “Pat, we’ve talked about this. It’s fine, really. I’m not scarred because I didn’t get pinched by a cute boy in my math class.” Patton laughs softly and wipes their eyes, though they hadn’t been crying.

“I know, I’m sorry. I just wish you got to experience the magic and fun before you grew up.”

Virgil smiles at them gently, holding them at arm’s length. “Trust me, I get plenty of fun and magic living with you.” Patton’s smile brightens, and they kiss Virgil’s cheek before rushing across the room, picking up a paper chain off the back counter. There were four chains in total, the one Patton had picked up being made of strips of red construction paper. They held up both ends, the chain so long that nearly half of it sat on the floor. “Help me put this up!”

They’d taken two of the metal chairs, each person standing at one corner of the classroom diagonal from each other with a stapler. Virgil held his end, looking at the bright blue stapler doubtfully. “Are you sure we’re allowed to do this, babe?” Patton just waves him off, positioning the ending link where they wanted it and moving the stapler into place. “I do this all the time; you’ve seen the snowflakes!” Virgil laughs softly, nodding and turning back to the task at hand. Patton had spent all weekend making snowflakes to attach to the ceiling last year, and when Virgil had come by the classroom to drop off their lunch, he’d nearly been smacked in the face by one.

Virgil smiles at the ridiculous memory and staples the link to the wall, turning around and letting go of the paper chain to watch it sink precariously low. He shares a look with Patton, who’s frowning in thought.

“…Maybe we can staple the center to the ceiling?”

That was how Virgil ended up standing on a chair, which was on top of a table, stretching to staple a paper chain to the ceiling of his spouse’s classroom. The things he did for Patton, seriously. He stood on his tiptoes, stretching to press the paper against the ceiling and wobbling slightly as the chair slips the slightest bit. Patton rushes to hold it still, biting their lip.

“Are you sure you should be doing this? It doesn’t seem very safe, Virge.”

Virgil huffs through his nose, tilting his head back to not strain his eyes as he got the stapler in place. “You said so yourself; we can’t get in to the janitor’s closet and you don’t have a ladder in here. Unless you want the kids pulling on the chain tomorrow and breaking it, this is the best bet.”

“But I could just ask Ryan when I come to work tomorrow-“

“Just let me do this so we can finish and go home.”

Patton goes quiet, and Virgil instantly feels bad for snapping at Patton. He hasn’t slept well the past week, and it was starting to show in his short temper. He brings the stapler up again, pressing on it to staple the red paper to the ceiling when his foot slips and he loses his balance, falling back.

He squeezes his eyes shut, his heart lurching in his chest as he prepares to hit the table, the floor, something, but nothing happens. He takes a breath, unaware of when he’d stopped breathing, and opens his eyes. Patton’s face hovers worriedly over his, eyebrows knit together, and frown etched onto their face. “Are you okay?” Patton’s arms tighten around Virgil, holding him from the back of his knees and his back. Virgil nods mutely, heart still pounding a bit. Patton sighs softly and nods to themselves, setting Virgil on the ground. “Good.”

They suddenly smack the back of Virgil’s head, and Virgil’s hand flies up to protect himself. “Ow! What the he-“

“Don’t scare me like that! Next time I say we should wait for the janitor, we wait for the flipping janitor!”

Virgil blinks, taking a moment to take in Patton’s appearance. Their shoulders are tense, and their hands are shaking slightly. Their pupils are blown wide, swallowing up the green of their eyes. Virgil frowns, shoulders hunching slightly. “Right. Sorry, Patton. I’ll listen to you next time.” Patton relaxes a bit at that. “Good.” They take Virgil’s chin between their thumb and forefinger, tilting it up the slightest bit to press a gentle kiss to his lips before pulling away.

“Come on, I’ll finish the rest tomorrow. We should head home and go to bed.”

Virgil waves to the secretary as he walks through the front doors of the office, setting a paper bag on the counter as he signs in to the visitor sheet. “Patton forget their lunch again?” She giggles, smiling up at Virgil from her chair. He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah. I swear, they’d lose their head if it wasn’t for me.” The secretary wishes him a good day as he exits the office, heading for Patton’s classroom.

He pushes the door open, anticipating the spike in noise level but never fully prepared for it. He looks up as half of the children turn to see who’d just opened the door, Patton jumping up from their desk chair to smile brightly at him. “Virge! Hey, what’re you doing here?” Virgil holds up the paper bag. “You forgot your lunch. Again.” Patton rubs the back of their neck, looking embarrassed. Virgil looks around the room, noting that the decorations were done. He guessed Patton managed to talk the janitor into helping them out; the man did have a soft spot for the energetic teacher.

“Mr. Sanders! Mr. Sanders!” Virgil looks down at a girl with blonde pigtails, raising an eyebrow. “Sup, squirt?” He pretends not to notice the look Patton shoots him as the girl asks, “Did you really make all the pretty leaves?” Virgil looks around the room at the leaves he’d taped to the wall the night before. “Yeah, I did, why?”

She gapes up at him, eyes shining with wonder. “That’s so amazing!” The other nearby kids who were listening to the short exchange agree, speaking over each other. Virgil looks over at Patton, whose whole face is lit up in a smile.

“Yeah, I guess it is.”


	7. This Looks Like Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Fall Baking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: LAMP/CALM
> 
> Summary: Patton’s been getting a lot of questions about the cookies people see his boyfriends eating in his videos, so he decides to make a video about them!
> 
> Tags/Warnings: some swearing, Virgil eats like, everything, very ridiculous, Human AU, Virgil goes by Anx on Tumblr and his boyfriends try to respect that

The video starts, the screen black. Voices are heard.

“Why do we have to film this?” A slightly gravelly voice grumbles. It’s hard to hear, the voice quiet.

“Because people wanna know how we make those neat-o cookies, Virge!” A bright, bubbly voice replies.

“Okay but that’s what Google is for.” The gravelly voice replies.

“I have to agree, this hardly seems like a productive use of time.” A third voice adds, calm and rhythmic in its speech pattern.

“Where is your sense of adventure? This is going to be epic!” This voice is loud, full of confidence and bravado. Its source is either close to the camera, or just painfully loud.

“Sure, if you take the cap off the lens before hitting record next time.” The gravelly voice snarks.

There’s a snort, a giggle, and a shocked cry. Suddenly, the video comes to life, the image blurred as the camera is picked up and a face not unlike a more kempt-looking Flynn Rider takes up a majority of the screen. The man smiles, his cheeks dusting with pink. “Ah, how embarrassing.” The camera moves again, showcasing a kitchen and three young men all standing around in various states of excitement. A man in a light blue polo, tan pants, and a cardigan wrapped around his shoulders bounces on the balls of his feet. His hair is a little messy, but side-swept across his forehead. Large, thick black-framed glasses sit on his face, making the green of his eyes shine. He speaks up, making it apparent that he’s the owner of the bubbly voice heard earlier.

“Hey there, Dad here! You guys might recognize me from my YouTube channel, Patty-Cake! This here,” He claps a grumpy-looking, darkly-dressed man on the shoulder, making him jump slightly. “Is V- Anx! You guys probably know all about his Tumblr, Panic-At-The-Everywhere. Isn’t he great?” Anx grumbles and gives the camera a lazy wave. “Yo.” His hands are being swallowed by the sleeves of the large black hoodie he wears, which is decorated with large sloppy white stitches and purple patches of fabric. His legs are wrapped in ripped black skinny jeans, and under his jacket he wears a purple shirt with small tears in it as well. His lips are turned down in a grimace, but his amusement is betrayed in his grey eyes.

Patton hops around Anx to throw an arm around the third man’s shoulders. “And this is Lo! I mean, Logan! He runs the science blog, Sound Logic, and the YouTube channel Nerdulator! You should check it out, he has lots of nifty science videos!” The same loud voice from before, belonging to the Flynn Rider look-alike, speaks up. “Don’t endorse nerdery on my channel!” Anx raises an eyebrow, smirking slightly from where he leans against the kitchen counter. “Nerdery?”

“Shut up, All-American Reject!”

Logan’s arms are crossed over his chest, his posture straight and proper, yet exuding calm relaxation. He pushes a pair of glasses very similar to Patton’s own up his nose, his other hand smoothing out a blue tie (which matches his eyes) over his black polo before his arms return to their crossed state. He nods at the camera. “Hello, there. As none of the others have elected to inform you all as to the task we will be engaging in, I feel it is my-“

The Flynn Rider look-alike moves so that he’s in the shot, throwing a hand out. “Hold on! We haven’t introduced the fabulous me, yet!” Logan sighs, gesturing to the man in a ‘go ahead’ manner. He perks up, smiling brightly at the camera. Ladies, lords, and non-binary royalty, welcome to my YouTube channel! I am the magnificent Prince Roman-“

“Since when are we doing last-name-first-name introductions?”

“-here to spread joy and creativity to all!” Patton’s hands come up to cup his cheeks as he smiles at Roman. “Aw, Ro! That was so cute!” Roman’s cheeks pink slightly, and he takes himself out of the shot. “Right! Well, today, fair subjects, we are going to do a collab video about those  _amazing_  Crofter’s cookies Padre loves to make!” Patton nods.

“And I wanted to do this video with everyone-“

“Since we make them together every fall-“

“And we’re putting it on Roman’s channel-“

“Because it’ll be an adventure!” Roman shouts. Patton moves to reveal a collection of various ingredients on the counter, separating them for better viewing as he lists them off. “So here we have butter, brown sugar, some eggs, vanilla extract, walnuts, flour, salt, and Crofter’s jams! I like to use apricot, strawberry, and mango, but you can use whatever flavors you want!”

Anx leans closer to Patton, grinning. “Plot twist, he uses them for the colors. They were an acquired taste.” Patton laughs and nods. “What can I say? When it comes to fall colors, I was in a bit of a-“

“Don’t.”

“-jam!”

Logan groans. Roman grins brightly and Virgil hides his snickering behind a hoodie-clad hand. Patton smiles and adds, “The link to the recipe is in the description! It’s  _berry_  easy to follow.” Logan pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket, unfolding it. “I have it here. Since I neither have the skill nor interest to participate, I shall read the directions to you all.” Patton deflates slightly but doesn’t say anything. Anx takes the strawberry jelly and pops it open while Patton is grabbing a cookie sheet and parchment paper. Anx dips his finger into the Crofter’s – much to Logan’s disgust and dismay – and pops some of the jelly into his mouth. Patton looks over, crying out and taking the jar from Anx.

“Vi- Anx! Don’t do that, it’s so unsanitary!” Anx rolls his eyes, hopping up onto the counter and kicking his feet. “Yeah, like you don’t do the same thing.” Logan raises an eyebrow, looking up from the recipe. “I sincerely hope that you do not, Patton. At least use a spoon.”

“Spoons are for people who don’t have crippling depression.”

Silence descends on the room, Patton and Logan looking at Anx with concern and confusion. “…Are you okay, Anx?”

Anx grabs the mango and scoops some into his mouth with his fingers with a smirk. Logan makes a sound that can only be accurately described as the Windows error noise and Patton takes the jar from Anx. “You stop that!  We’re supposed to be baking!”

Logan straightens up with the reminder and looks at the recipe he holds in his hands. “Alright, back to business. The first direction states to preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and grease the baking sheet.”

Patton nods, moving over to the oven with a spring in his step and setting the oven to heat up. He grabs a sheet of parchment paper, explaining to the camera, “I prefer to use these rather than wasting Pam spray and giving myself a more annoying cleanup. If you use parchment sheets, you can just pop the baking sheet straight in the washer, no rinsing off!” Logan nods. Anx looks bored, eyeing the ingredients; Patton has moved all three jellies out of his reach.

“Next, separate the egg, reserving the white-“

Patton looks over his shoulder, brows furrowed. “Wait, just one egg?” Logan nods. “Yes, Patton, only one. Don’t you know this? I’d have thought you had this recipe memorized after all these years.” Patton huffs lightly, though he doesn’t look annoyed. He takes an egg out of the carton and sets it on the counter, picking the carton up and moving to put it back in the fridge off-screen. Virgil leans over and snags the small bag of walnuts, opening it and taking a few, popping them into his mouth. As Patton comes back, he grabs the egg he’d set aside and takes a small glass bowl out of the cupboard, setting the bowl on the counter and cracking the egg open against it. He rolls the egg yolk between the two halves while the white drips into the bowl, the camera moving closer for a better view.

“Now cream the butter, sugar, and egg yolk.”

Patton nods, taking out another bowl while still holding the yolk sitting in its shell and setting that bowl down as well. He drops the egg yolk into the bowl and tosses the egg shell the two feet across to the trash can, smiling when it effortlessly makes it in. He grabs the butter and brown sugar, unwrapping the butter and tossing it in the bowl. He opens the bag of brown sugar and starts dumping it in the bowl, and Logan looks up with alarm. “Patton, wait! You need to measure that out!” There’s a snort off-camera.

Patton jumps slightly, pulling the bag back and blinking down at the bowl. There’s a decent-sized mound of brown sugar on top of the butter, and Patton laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Oops?” Logan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose and the camera moves closer to Patton as Roman’s hand reaches out and pats him on the shoulder. “It’s okay, Pat, we can just double the recipe!” Patton perks up, smiling up at Roman. “You’re right! Thanks, Ro!” He leans out of the shot, a soft wet smacking noise preceding his return to the camera shot.

Logan sighs and goes to the fridge, coming back to Patton with another egg. “Please pay attention.”

“It might help if you, y’know, tell him how much he should be using beforehand.” Anx comments, words slurred a bit by a mouth full of walnuts. Patton looks over and pouts at Anx, plucking the bag out of his hands. “Anx, if you’re hungry just say so! I’ll make you a snack.”

“I thought that’s what we were doing.”

Patton shrugs. “Well not if you eat all the ingredients, kiddo!” Anx huffs lightly. “Whatever.” Patton turns back to the task at hand and quickly has the second egg separated. He takes an electric mixer and plugs it in, turning it on and using it to mix the brown sugar, butter, and egg yolks. Once that’s finished, he looks over at Logan.

“Add vanilla, flour and salt, mixing well.”

Patton reaches for said ingredients.

“A half a teaspoon of vanilla extract, a cup of flour, and a fourth a teaspoon of salt.”

Patton blinks and grabs the measuring cups out of a nearby drawer, smiling at Logan. “Thanks, Lo!” Logan’s cheeks pink slightly, and he nods. Patton measures out the ingredients this time, adding them to the bowl and pausing. Roman speaks up off-camera. “Patton? What is it?”

“How much mixing would you consider mixing  _well_?”

Virgil snrks.

“I’m sure if you properly mix them until they are well blended, that should suffice.” Patton smiles and nods, mixing the ingredients and turning back to Logan with flour on his nose. Logan grins at him, obviously trying hard not to but failing. Patton blinks at him, confused. “What is it?” Logan crosses the kitchen and smiles down at Patton, reaching up and wiping the flour off his nose. “Just a bit of flour.”

The close proximity has Patton blushing. They stand like that for a long moment, the kitchen silent, until Anx clears his throat.

“This is two gay five me. Come on guys, let’s get this over with.” Roman snrks off-camera. “You’re one to talk, G Note.” Anx shoots him a glare. “We don’t mention the G note in this household.”

Patton laughs and moves to continue with the baking, and Logan goes back to reading the directions.

“Shape dough into balls. Roll in egg white, then walnuts. Place on cookie sheets about 2 inches apart. Bake for 5 minutes.” Patton does as directed and places the finished balls into the oven. Roman suddenly bursts out laughing, and the camera shot moves to focus on Anx, who’s pouring salt into his palm and eating it. Patton looks up at the laugh, following Roman’s gaze and making a distressed sound. Anx looks directly into the camera with a smirk. “I’m eating salt because my life’s falling apart.” Roman starts laughing harder, the camera shaking, and Patton pulls Anx into a hug, taking the salt from him.

Anx snrks and pats Patton’s back. “It’s a joke, Patton, come on. I’m fine.” Patton mumbles something into Anx’s shoulder, and Logan steps between the camera and the duo on the counter. “We will be right back with the final part of the process once the cookies have cooled.” He puts his hand over the camera.

The video cuts to a scene fifteen minutes later. All four men are sitting at the table with thin plastic cutting boards in front of them. Each board has thumbprint cookies on them, the jellies seen earlier in the middle of the table. There are plastic knives and a small pile of toothpicks as well. Patton smiles at the camera, waving. “Hey there, welcome back! So once the cookies are out, you usually press an indent into them with your thumb and just fill the hole with jelly, but for this particular design, we pressed them a little flat!” He holds up a cookie to show the camera. “So what we’re doing now is we’re gonna take these jellies and use the knives and toothpicks to make leaves on the cookie!”

Anx groans, his chin resting in his hand. “You make it sound so easy.”

Roman grins. “Maybe it would be if you didn’t kill your brain cells ingesting all that salt.”

Anx opens his mouth to respond, but Patton cuts him off. “So we’re gonna start off taking the knife and putting a little jelly on the cookie!” He does so, showing the small dollop of jelly on the cookie in his hand. “I don’t put too much, ‘cause we’re gonna be spreading it into points, like this.” He takes a toothpick, gently scraping the jelly into five fine points on the cookie. He grins at the camera, showing off the final product. “And don’t be too worried if it doesn’t look exactly like this! It takes a lot of practice!”

Anx sets down a cookie, now freshly jellied, and huffs. “Great, wish you’d told me that sooner. Can I go take a nap now?” Logan sets down his own cookie, a brief glimpse showing a leaf with five rather round-looking points. “No, you may not. You are helping to provide reassurance to our audience that Patton’s perfection cannot be expected on the first attempt. That, and you agreed to do this with us.” Anx grumbles something unintelligible and picks up another cookie. Patton smiles at Logan and goes back to making another leaf.

Once the four are done, Roman picks up the camera and does a close-up of all of their cookies, their names showing up in the bottom right corner of the video with each presentation. The camera moves back up to focus on Patton, who places the cookies on the baking sheet and puts them back in the oven. “Now we cook these for eight minutes, and we’re done!”

The video cuts to the four men standing in their living room, a common sight in Logan’s videos and occasionally in Patton’s and Roman’s. Anx and Logan are stuffing their faces with cookies as Roman and Patton smile into the camera, Patton speaking up first. “Thanks for joining us today! I hope you all enjoyed the video and make some tasty treats of your own! If you do, tag one of us on Twitter or Tumblr! I had so much fun, you guys really  _baked_  my day!” Logan stops eating to groan and roll his eyes, and Anx chokes on a cookie. “Oh no, V- Anx! Are you okay?” Patton moves to help Anx, who disappears off-camera, and Roman takes over.

“Well… While they sort that out, let me end on a high note! I hope all of you fabulous viewers out there have had a wonderful day, and I hope to see you next time! In the immortal words of the great Mr. Rogers, you make the world better just by being you. Until next time, take it easy ladies, lords, and non-binary royalty! Salutations!” The video goes dark and ends.

Virgil sits back in his desk chair and sighs, rubbing his face. He looks over at his bed where Roman sits criss-cross, gripping his shins with a look of anticipation. “I can’t believe you actually posted that. And left in all that embarrassing shit.” Roman looks confused. “What do you mean?” Virgil’s mouth quirks to the side and he shrugs.

“All the awkward pauses and screw-ups and me fucking choking on a cookie. Why’d you leave that stuff in?”

Roman sits up, letting go of his legs to fold his hands in his lap. “Because those are the best parts.”

Virgil looks over at him, confused. “How? They were all accidents and totally screwed with the flow of the video.” Roman smiles. “Exactly!” When Virgil’s expression doesn’t change, he continues. “Those are the parts that give the video life! They’re the most organic; they give viewers a glimpse into out daily lives. Those are the parts where we show how human we are, and how we love each other and enjoy what we do. Without those ‘screw-ups’, the video would just be some boring instructional video on making cookies!”

Virgil looks back at the computer before looking at Roman. “…I never thought of it like that. I guess I can see why you’re so good at your job, then.” Roman beams with pride and waves Virgil over. Virgil smiles slightly and gets up, moving to his bed to sit next to Roman. Roman pulls him close, smiling as he stares at a P!ATD poster.

“My favorite part is when we all realized you were eating salt out of your palm like a bird.”

Virgil snrks, the sound evolving into full-on laughter. Roman’s smile grows at the sound; he loved it so much but didn’t get to hear it as much as he’d like. He kisses the top of Virgil’s head, and Virgil calms down to respond with, “How about when Patton dumped like a cup of brown sugar in the bowl?” Roman laughs, nodding.

“That was pretty great. Logan’s face was priceless. Oh! And when they totally had that moment? They looked like they were back in high school, do you remember? When they were always-“

“Pining after each other, and everyone could tell except for them because it was obvious but they were too daft? Yeah, I remember.” Virgil grins and relaxes into Roman’s side. They sit there in silence for a moment before Virgil speaks up. “I guess you can keep the video up.”

Roman snrks. “Thank you so much for the approval, your majesty.”

“Hey, at least  _my_  last name isn’t Prince.”


	8. I Must be Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Fall Festival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Analogical
> 
> Summary: Virgil has never been to a fall festival before, but he really wants to go with Logan. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human AU, a little bit of angst, will I ever be able to write straight-up fluff? Who knows, cute boyos

Virgil had never gone to a fall festival before. His city never had them, and he couldn’t think of a single one nearby that did. Was it just something that small towns did? He’s seen them in movies and animes (don’t judge), but he’s never seen one in real life. Not even pictures. Maybe they were just a work of fiction? An idea writers held on to when they needed to express the magic and joy of fall without bringing up Halloween? He’d never know.

He’d moved forty-five minutes away from home on his twenty-first birthday, moving in with his high school friend Logan Berry. They were an odd pair, Logan the picture of nerds who  _actually_  know everything and Virgil the very embodiment of edgy depressed teen, despite being an adult. They’d met in astronomy; Virgil sat in the back, as far away from the other students as possible, and Logan had sat right in front of him. He claimed it was because that was the only available left-handed desk in the room, but by now Virgil knew him well enough to know that was a lie. Logan had no problem sitting at a right-handed desk.

He’d moved into an apartment with Logan three years ago, and the two had learned quickly that being best friends didn’t necessarily mean they would be good roommates. Logan got frustrated with Virgil’s mess, the other being naturally chaotic when it came to organization. Virgil was one of those “my room looks like a tornado hit it, but don’t you dare clean it, I know exactly where everything is” kind of people. It drove Logan crazy. He was constantly leaving clothes and sketchbooks around the apartment, and he’d rather let dishes pile up before loading the dishwasher than washing them after use like Logan did. Logan preferred things neatly organized, everything in its place, clear labels. One of their first arguments had actually been about Virgil finding Logan printing out labels for the cabinets and calling him anal-retentive.

There were many more arguments like that in their first year, each one more heated than the last, but the two friends always took time to separate, cool off, and apologize. They’d explain their feelings and perspective calmly, come to a compromise, and marathon a show or watch a movie until one of them had to go to work or they had to go to bed. Eventually, they learned how to live together and work around each other without stepping on any toes, and they were back to being the best of friends.

It was almost like high school, except the problems they faced were a little more serious and they were both more mature. It was almost like high school, except two months after they started getting along, Virgil started feeling things. It was almost like high school, except Virgil realized one night while Logan slept on his shoulder and Planet 51 played on the TV that he had a crush on his best friend. He tried to convince himself that Logan felt the same any time the other would smile at him or laugh at a joke, but then a part of his mind would laugh at him.  _He would never like someone like you; you’re too different. You’re reading into this too much, and if you don’t stop, you’re going to get yourself hurt._

Virgil flopped down on the couch, sighing to himself as he stared at the small cornucopia Logan had placed on their coffee table. Maybe he should see if this city had a fall festival? But even if it did, he would never go by himself, he’d be too paranoid that people were pitying him or something as equally ridiculous.  He looked at the pen and notepad set neatly on the edge of the coffee table. Maybe he should ask Logan? His heart raced a bit at the thought. What if Logan thought it was as friends? What if Logan said no? He probably hated stupid things like festivals; they weren’t necessary, and they were loud and noisy and messy. At least, Virgil thought they probably were.

Virgil closed his eyes, sighing to himself. Logan wasn’t going to be back for a few hours, he might as well take a nap.

* * *

The front door closed, startling Virgil awake. He sits up on the couch, rubbing his eyes and looking over at the entryway. Logan smiles at him, hanging his coat on one of the small hooks by the door, and makes his way over to the couch, sitting beside Virgil. Virgil gives him a small smile and the two relax together, turning the TV on to the news.

A peppy woman smiles at the camera, a microphone in her hands. “Well, Todd, it seems this year’s fall festival is shaping up nicely! Everyone is encouraged to come down to the fairgrounds and enjoy the vendors and activities!” The feed cuts to the news room, where a man sits with his arms folded on the table in front of him. “Thanks Ellen. Everyone be sure and stop by our station’s booth for a chance at winning some cool prizes! This Friday, our local news team will be going to Trojan High to…” Virgil tunes out the news anchor.

So they did have a fall festival? He wondered what it was like. He kind of wished he hadn’t been napping so he could see what it was about on the news.  _What does it matter?_  He berates himself,  _even if it was the coolest thing you’ve ever seen, you’d never have the nerve to ask Logan to go with you. Even if you did, let’s face it, he would never think it was a date_. Virgil huffs quietly to himself and feels Logan shift on the couch next to him. Logan was sitting closer to Virgil than was really necessary; the couch was plenty big enough for both of them to sit by an arm rest and have at least a foot of space between them. Virgil just told himself that Logan didn’t want the arm rest pressing into his side.

Logan clears his throat, and Virgil looks over at him. He’s staring ahead at the TV, and for a moment Virgil thinks Logan wasn’t actually trying to get his attention; he was just clearing his throat. Virgil starts to turn away when Logan speaks up. “It is my understanding that you have not been to one of these festivals before.” Virgil raises an eyebrow and nods.

“Yeah, Lo. They didn’t exactly have much going on back home, you know that.” Logan nods curtly, and awkward silence blankets the two men. Logan’s cheeks pink slightly, and Virgil is about to ask if he’s okay when Logan interrupts with, “Would you like to attend the event with me? I understand that it may be stressful to go on your own, and I wouldn’t mind experiencing it myself. If you’d rather not, that is acceptable as well.” Logan’s facial expression and tone were calm, but Virgil could see the slight tremble in his hands. His face heats up and he nods, making Logan look at him.

“I- yeah, sure. Let’s do it. You’ve never been to one either, right?” Logan nods. “I have not.”

Virgil smiles. “It should be fun, then. When did you wanna go?”  Logan glances at Virgil before turning back to the TV, the pink on his cheeks spreading. “Ah, I was thinking perhaps tomorrow, since we both have the day off.” Virgil nods, and the two go back to watching TV, the rest of the evening passing in quiet domestic silence as they go about their normal tasks.

The next morning, Virgil is a ball of nervous energy. He dresses quickly, messing with his hair for a solid twenty minutes, trying to make it look perfect. There’s one lock of hair near his forehead that keeps sticking up when he brushes his hair to the side, and no matter what he tries it doesn’t seem to want to listen. He eventually just gives up and heads to the living room. Logan hasn’t left his room yet, so Virgil paces the living room, working a path into the carpet. Logan finally comes out into the living room ten minutes later, wearing a dark blue button up and black tie, with dark-wash jeans and black shoes.

Virgil stops, staring at Logan with wide eyes. Logan stares back, a blush steadily creeping onto his face. Virgil realizes he’s staring and looks away, his own blush heating up his face. Logan checks his watch. “Ah, we should be heading out.” Virgil nods mutely and follows Logan out of the apartment, still looking anywhere but Logan. They descend the stairs silently, and as Virgil passes Logan, their hands brush. Virgil is about to pawn it off as a mistake, but it happens again when they’re both on the ground. Virgil’s blush worsens when Logan tentatively slots his fingers between Virgil’s, neither one looking at the other or acknowledging that anything happened as they head for the fairgrounds.

As they get closer, the crowds thicken. Virgil moves the slightest bit closer to Logan, his hand shifting to grip Logan’s. Logan squeezes his hand gently and leads Virgil quickly through the crowds, parting them like the red sea. Virgil’s thankful that Logan’s the one taking the shoulder-checks and purse slaps; if anyone touched him right now, he’d probably snap.

They make it to the ticket booth unscathed and Logan pays for the both of them. He’s handed two wristbands and he gives one to Virgil, helping him put it on. Logan smiles at Virgil when the other finally looks at him and the two head past the stalls and bag checks. Virgil blinks and stops walking; there’s so much going on, booths and tables and vendors lined up, children and parents and lovers milling about. Logan doesn’t let him linger on the sheer number of people though. He gently pulls on his hand, drawing his attention to one of the nearby booths.

The day goes by smoothly. Whenever Virgil starts to feel overwhelmed Logan distracts him or takes him aside until he calms down. They’re always touching in some way; hand-holding, Virgil gripping Logan’s arm, or Logan guiding Virgil with a hand on his shoulder. They each get a burger and fries from one of the local vendors, Logan grumbling about outrageous prices and small portions as Virgil snrks and squirts ketchup onto his fries. They go on a miniature roller coaster, the spinning swings, and play in the bumper cars. Logan tries his hand at carnival games (aptly fall-themed), talking about the logistics of the games and how they were all rigged. He doesn’t win a single one.

They share a large order of fries for dinner, agreeing to eat something more substantial at home, and sit in the grass. Apparently, there were supposed to be fireworks when the sun finally sets. The two talk about anything and everything, smiling and joking with each other. Virgil thinks to himself that it’s a little strange, but he doesn’t want to ruin the moment, so he doesn’t say anything. When the first firework explodes in the sky and Virgil jumps, Logan wraps a comforting arm around his shoulders and pulls him close. Virgil blushes, but scoots closer as the two watch the sky light up with color.

Virgil’s eyes widen with wonder when the finale begins, eyes dancing with a multitude of colors. He looks over at Logan to say something, but the words die on his tongue. He can’t quite place Logan’s expression, but it’s something warm that makes his stomach flip. He opens his mouth, nothing coming out, and Logan leans in. Virgil’s heart rate picks up when he realizes what’s happening and he squeezes his eyes shut.

The front door shutting a little too loudly startles Virgil awake, and he shoots up into a sitting position, looking around frantically. He’s in his living room, Logan standing in the entryway with a raised eyebrow.

“Are you alright, Virgil?”

Virgil stares at Logan, the almost-kiss playing over in his head, and he turns red-faced, looking down at the carpet. “Ah yeah, sorry. Guess I fell asleep.” Logan nods and sits on the other end of the couch, and the foot of space between them squeezes Virgil’s heart. He turns on the news to break the silence, sinking into the couch and listening to the reporter.

“The fall festival opened its gates today, and the turn-out has been a positive one. Twenty-four vendors and at least two-hundred booths make up a majority of the event, with the fairground’s signature rides and games open for business. Children get in for ten dollars at the gate, and everyone is encouraged to take the opportunity for a well-deserved day out.”

Logan scoffs, a book open in his lap. “Festivals are pointless drivel celebrating nothing but capitalist desire. What a waste of time.” Virgil feels his heart sink, nodding. He stares at the TV as the news anchor keeps talking, but he can’t hear anything they’re saying.

“Yeah, pretty dumb, huh?”


	9. I've Never Felt This Good Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Shopping for Candy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Prinxiety
> 
> Summary: Virgil and Roman have been together for a few years now, and Roman’s been planning something big. He loses his patience and decides to spring his plan into action on Halloween.
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human AU, dorks, cutie patooties, hella gay

“Oh, we should get those candy bracelets!” Virgil sighed, leaning on the cart as he pushed it along next to his boyfriend. “Princey, neither of us eat those.” Roman turns to look at Virgil, an eyebrow raised.

“So? It’s for the children, Jekyll and Snide.” Virgil rolls his eyes, looking over the Halloween-themed bags of candy. “Yeah, but there’s no way we’ll be able to get rid of all of it, so unless it’s something we actually like eating it’d be a waste of money. You have to be smart about this; it isn’t just grabbing any random bag and shoving off the stuff you hate onto kids, you’re spending hard-earned money on something kids get dressed up for and come to your house to get. It’s important.” Roman blinks and stuffs his hands into his pockets. “Alright then, since you’re so smart; go ahead and pick.”

Virgil leaves the cart to look more closely at the candy, picking up a few bags to see which candies were in them. He even takes the time to stand there and look between two different bags, debating between the two. Roman watches completely confused as to why this matters so much. It’s just candy! Sure, what Virgil said about getting something they like is a good idea, but it shouldn’t take this long to decide. Roman realizes after a moment that Virgil is just taking his sweet time to get under the other’s skin. He smirks and decides to play along. After another couple minutes like this, Roman starts tapping his foot restlessly. As Virgil debates the merits of getting two of each of the bags he’s holding, Roman starts fidgeting. When he picks up another bag to see if it’s any better, Roman huffs a sigh.

Virgil smirks, but otherwise doesn’t acknowledge that he has any idea what he’s doing to the other male. It’s only when Roman whines like a petulant child that Virgil finally straightens up and puts the candy bags in the cart. Honestly, he’d made his decision pretty quickly, but he wanted to see how long he could milk it until Roman got annoyed. Roman bends over the handlebar to peer down at the candy and raises an eyebrow.

“This is… Pretty good, actually. I don’t think there’s anything here we wouldn’t eat.” Virgil grins at him and starts heading toward the front of the store, Roman walking beside him with a fond smile. “Good, because I probably got more than we’ll ever need. We should be set through Christmas unless you decide to live off candy for a solid week again.”

Roman laughs, shaking his head. “Good heavens, no. I learned my lesson.” Roman falls a step behind Virgil, feigning interest in an endcap while his hand snakes around the corner to dig through the box of ring pops. Honestly, this was the dumbest thing he’s ever done, but he can’t handle the wait anymore. Hopefully Virgil understands. When they’re paying for their groceries, Roman manages to distract Virgil long enough to get the ring pop on the conveyor belt and in a bag so he can’t see it. Once they’re home, Roman offers to carry the groceries, which gets an eyebrow raise from Virgil. Both eyebrows go up when Roman also offers to put everything away, but Virgil won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. He goes to the living room to set up their movie night, and Roman pockets the ring pop before putting everything away.

Over the course of the next week, Roman is a nervous wreck. He’s constantly checking his hiding place to make sure Virgil hasn’t found the ring pop, though a logical part of his brain keeps telling him that even if Virgil were to find it, he wouldn’t know why it was being hidden in the first place. He tries to distract himself with candy; both Virgil and Roman sneak into the kitchen to take a piece of candy when the other is busy, though neither can remember who was the one that tore the bag open in the first place (Roman is pretty sure it was Virgil, but he won’t say anything). When Halloween finally arrives, Virgil dumps two and a half bags into a large bowl and sets it by the door, ready for trick-or-treaters.

Roman answers the door half the time, though only so he has an excuse to dip his hand into the proverbial cookie jar (and make sure the ring pop is still in his pocket). Virgil isn’t much better, and by that point they’d given up on trying to be secretive about eating their candy supply. When the night is over, they hardly have any left in the bowl, but Virgil assures Roman there’s three more bags in the cupboard. They put a movie on, cuddling together on the couch. Roman can feel his heart pounding in his chest. What if Virgil laughs at him? What if he thinks it’s stupid, or childish? Oh god, what if he says no? Roman pales, and Virgil looks up at him from where he’s nestled under Roman’s arm, brows furrowed.

“Ro? You okay?”

Roman nods mutely, hand shaking slightly as it settles over the candy packaging in his pocket. Oh jesus, was it really that loud? Could Virgil hear the crinkling?  _Now or never_ , he thinks as he shifts away from Virgil to face him. Virgil’s expression turns confused as he watches Roman, shifting to face him better. “…Roman?” Roman swallows and takes the ring pop out of his pocket. Virgil’s eyebrow raises, and Roman bites back his panic, forcing himself to speak.

“I… I wanted this to be special. I wanted to take you to that nice restaurant with the band that you liked back on our third-year anniversary, and go on a walk in the park, and stargaze with you. I wanted to tell you all the reasons I love you, and just how wonderful you are as you looked up at the stars. I wanted you to look away from the sky and see me with a ring, asking you to be with me forever, with the most beautiful ring money could buy. But… I- I couldn’t wait. I tried to save up, I almost have enough for the ring, really, I promise. I just couldn’t wait any longer because I just love you so much.

“You’re my entire world, my moon and my stars. I love everything about you, from your secret love of Britney Spears to your passion for Halloween to your amazing heart. Your smile makes me feel like I can take on the world. Your laugh is like the rarest, most beautiful gemstones falling right into my lap. I’m so, so lucky to have you in my life, and I don’t know what I’d do if you ever left it. This… isn’t much.  _I’m_  not much, but… please, Virgil. Will you marry me?”

Roman hadn’t looked at Virgil at all as he spoke, too nervous of what he might find. He forces himself to look at his boyfriend as he asks the vital question though, Virgil’s expression wrenching his gut. Virgil’s face is red, though Roman honestly can’t tell if it’s from a blush or out of anger (as if Virgil would ever really be mad at him). His lips are pursed as he searches Roman’s face, his eyes shining with what Roman realizes belatedly are unshed tears. Virgil laughs shakily, and Roman’s heart sinks. Virgil notices Roman’s expression and shakes his head.

“Pri-… Roman. You don’t need to take me on some extravagant date with music and expensive food and stars. All I need is you and me, together. I don’t need a fancy ring to know that I love you. Though, maybe something a little more adult than a ring pop.” He jokes, and Roman laughs wetly, wiping his eyes. He hadn’t even realized he’d started crying. Virgil takes Roman’s hands, smiling gently at him. “Of course I’ll marry you Roman.” Roman feels his chest swell with joy as he pulls Virgil into a hug, cradling the back of his head and holding him close as he laughs.

He guessed Virgil was right. Picking just the right candy was important.


	10. Life's no Fun Without a Good Scare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Corn Maze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Royality (LAMP if you squint real hard and wish on a blue moon)
> 
> Summary: Roman talks Patton into trying out the corn maze. They totally don’t get lost.
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human AU, useless gays, some swearing

Patton looked at the foreboding stalks of corn towering over his head, an endless field of large leaves and yellow corn. His mouth twitched into a frown as he glanced sideways at Roman. “I don’t know about this, Ro…” Roman looks down at his boyfriend and smiles. It’s just a corn maze, Patton. What could possibly go wrong?” Patton looks back at the field of corn, pursing his lips.

“What if we get lost?”

Roman wraps an arm around his shoulders, leading him closer to the entrance (which Patton can barely make out from the rest of the corn. They were so going to get lost). “We won’t get lost. And even if we do, your brave knight will protect you from any and all danger these foul golden vegetables!” Patton laughs slightly, swallowing his nerves as they enter the maze. “I think they’re a grain, actually.” Roman shrugs, turning a corner. “Well, whatever they are, I will protect you with my life.”

Patton smiles and kisses Roman’s cheek.

The two of them walk through the maze in relative silence, Roman occasionally humming until the tune tapers off into more silence. By this point, Patton’s become so relaxed walking with Roman that he isn’t too worried about getting lost. He smiles to himself while Roman hums Belle Reprise. They run into a few dead ends, but they just turn around and keep going, not really caring at this point because they’re sure they’ll make it out, right? Right. They don’t even notice when the sun starts to lower in the sky, or when the other patrons are gone, leaving them the only two still in the maze.

It’s only when the sky begins to change color that Patton looks up, brows furrowing. How long have they been here? He looks at Roman, who doesn’t seem to have noticed the time lapse. Either that, or he just doesn’t care. Patton looks back up at the sky, his mouth quirking to the side. “How long have we been here?” Roman shrugs. “A few hours.”

Ah, so it was the latter.

“A few hours? Ro, it shouldn’t take a few hours to get out of a corn maze!” Patton stops, fidgeting with the sleeves of his cat hoodie around his neck. Roman is a few steps ahead before he realizes Patton stopped and he turns around, smiling softly at the other. “Patton, it’s okay. We’ll make it out soon, and even if we don’t they’ll send someone after us. They know we’re in here.” Patton looks behind him, though all he can see is an endless expanse of corn. “I hope so…”

When the sky starts to get dark, even Roman looks worried.

Patton’s tired. They’ve been walking around for hours and he hasn’t eaten since breakfast and he’s thirsty and he just wants to go home and sleep. He stops walking and sits in the field, feeling his eyes burn. He knew they’d get lost. He knew this was a bad idea. And now they were stuck in a stupid corn field and no one knew. Roman sits down next to him and pulls him into a side hug, sighing. “I’m sorry, glowbug. Please don’t cry.” Patton straightens up, blinking his unshed tears away and smiling at Roman. “Oh, it’s okay! I’m not crying, I’m fine, see?”

Roman gives him a look, and his smile melts away. He sighs and slumps in on himself, leaning into Roman. “I’m just really tired. I want to go home. I’m hungry.” Roman rests his head against Patton’s, holding him close. “I know, I’m sorry. This is all my fault. I should have listened to you. If not at the beginning, then earlier when I realized how long we’ve been here. I should’ve called Virgil and-“

“Call Virgil!” Patton sits up, eyes wide. Roman looks at him for a moment, obviously confused, before realization dawns on his face and he facepalms. “Of course. Idiot…” He takes out his phone, hitting speed dial and pressing the phone to his ear. After a moment be straightens up, smiling at Patton as he puts on his usual bravado. “My dark and stormy night! I need a favor… Patton and I went to a corn maze and-…. Yes…. Yes…. The one down the road from-… Yes… You’re what?…. Oh, okay… Thank you… we’ll see you soon, then.” He hangs up and turns to Patton. “Virgil and Logan are heading this way now, it shouldn’t be more than twenty minutes.” Patton nods and rests his head on Roman’s shoulder, closing his eyes.

Roman shakes his shoulder, waking him up with a start. He sits up, looking around, confused for a moment by the near-total darkness before he remembers where they are. “What is it, Roman?” Roman stands up, taking Patton’s hand and helping him up. “Virgil just texted me, they just parked, so we only need wait another minute or so for our rescue party.” Patton smiles and kisses Roman’s cheek. “Good! As much as I like napping in nature, I do miss my bed.” Roman grins and takes Patton’s hand, kissing the back of it.

“I truly am sorry for all of thi-“ Patton shakes his head. “Nope. None of that, mister. You didn’t know we’d end up so lost! It’s fine, really.” He smiles at Roman’s doubtful expression. “Hey, at least I got to spend the day with you.” Roman sighs and nods, a small smile creeping onto his face. “I suppose you’re right. Thank you, Patton.” Patton smiles. He opens his mouth to say something when a beam of light shines somewhere nearby, drawing their attention.

“Roman! Patton! Don’t move, we’ll find you! Just shout back so that we may locate you!”

Patton’s smile widens and he bounces slightly on the balls of his feet. “Over here!” The beam follows the direction of Patton’s voice, and Logan responds. “Don’t move, we’re on our way!” The light moves slightly with Logan’s movement, and Patton smiles up at Roman. “See? It’ll be fine!” They stay in their spot, shouting back to Logan when he asks where they are to make sure he’s going the right way. They’re just beginning to think Logan is close when they hear a rustling in the corn.

Patton glances around, confused. It didn’t come from the direction of the flashlight, so it wasn’t Logan. Maybe it was a squirrel or something? The sound happens again, closer this time, and Patton pales. That thing was way too big to be a squirrel. “Roman…” He doesn’t dare look away from the corn, even though he can barely see. He grabs Roman’s sleeve and tugs on it to get his attention. “R-roman, something’s in the corn-!” His voice pitches up at the end when the rustling continues, louder still, and Roman looks to where Patton is staring, confused. He steps in front of Patton, squaring his shoulders.

“Fear not, I shall vanquish whatever beast may lie in wait.” His voice is missing its usual bravado, replaced by a grave seriousness. Patton swallows, watching the corn move as whatever it was came closer. His heartrate picked up and he gripped the back of Roman’s shirt tightly, feeling hyper-aware of their surroundings, of every little noise. Where was Logan? Why hadn’t Patton heard him shouting for them? A large silhouette starts to form within the field, coming closer and closer. Patton’s heart is beating so hard he’s sure Roman can hear it. “R-Roman!” He hides his face in Roman’s back as the thing gets closer, feeling Roman stiffen, preparing to fight.

“There you are, Christ, how the hell do you get lost ten feet from the exit?”

Patton blinks. He knows that voice…. He lets go of Roman’s shirt, stepping out from behind him and squinting in the darkness. “…Virgil?” Virgil smirks, barely visible to the other two. “What, did you really think I was a monster? You two need to stop watching so many scary movies; your imagination will get the best of you.” Patton sighs with relief, rushing forward and hugging Virgil tightly. “Thank goodness, you’re here! But wait.” He pulls back to see Virgil, able to make out his face better with their close proximity. “How can you see so well without a flashlight?”

Virgil shrugs. “I have sensitive eyes, my night vision is pretty good.” Roman finally moves from where he’d been frozen to the spot since Virgil emerged, marching right up to him and punching him in the arm. Virgil’s hand flies up to protect his shoulder from another assault. “Ow! What the hell, Roman?” Roman huffs. “ _That’s_  for not telling us you weren’t some werewolf or vampire!” Virgil rolls his eyes just as Logan makes it over to the three of them. “Yeah, yeah. Let’s go home now, it’s too damn cold out.”

“It’s not cold, you’re just anemic.”

“Bite me.”

“Kinky.”


	11. Don't We Love it Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Hay Rides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Logicality
> 
> Summary: Patton drags Logan along to a hay ride. Logan does not like hay, but ey loves Patton, so ey doesn’t complain. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Agender Logan, hay rides, little accident, it’s fine though no one’s hurt, Lo’s a sap for his sap

“Patton, this is absurd, we will only get hay in the car and track it into the house.” Logan followed behind eir boyfriend, sighing with exasperation. Ey loved him, but honestly. He didn’t tend to think things through. Patton smiled back at em, eyes bright. “It’ll be fine, Lo! Just watch, you’ll have tons of fun!” Logan resigned eirselves to vacuuming out the car later today as Patton dragged em into the line. He jumped excitedly on the balls of his feet, chatting animatedly as the horse-drawn cart appeared in the distance.

“Oh Lo, Look! It’s a horse! It’s not a tractor, it’s a real-live horse! That’s so amazing! Do you think they’ll let me pet it? Oh, oh! I wonder what its name is? Do you think it’s a boy or a girl? I don’t want to look at its privates, that’ be rude! Do you think the driver guy knows? I hope he knows, I want to ask him. Oh, here they come!”

Logan feels a strange sense of primal fear when the horse starts drawing nearer to the line. As the last group gets off the cart and the people in front of em start climbing on, the feeling only grows. The line passes right past the horse, and Logan can feel eirselves getting more tense the closer ey get to the animal. Ey’re still holding Patton’s hand, unknowingly squeezing it. Patton looks up at Logan, his smile faltering. “You okay Lo?” Logan nods, eyes locked on the horse. “Yes. I am alright.”

Eir shoulders and neck muscles complained as ey passed the horse, who whinnied and snuffed in Logan’s direction. Logan shies away as ey pass, quickly climbing onto the cart and sitting as far from the horse as possible. Patton watches em, trying not to laugh as he sits next to em. The cart starts moving, jostling the passengers. Logan reaches out, gripping Patton’s shoulder. He laughs, and once everyone settles Logan’s arm wraps around Patton’s shoulders.

Logan tries to ignore how every part of em touching the hay itches. Ey try to ignore how the hay is poking through eir pants and into eir sock and wedging itself into eir shoes. Ey sigh softly and close eir eyes, focusing on the movement of the cart and not the stench of horse manure trailing behind them. Patton leaned his head on Logan’s shoulder, humming some Halloween-themed song Logan only barely recognized. They rode around the large farm, Patton making soft sounds of awe and squealing when he saw a “cute” arm animal.

It made Logan smile. Patton was amazing, always finding the best of a situation or person. Ey bet Patton hadn’t even thought of how itchy the hay was. Ey open their eyes when Patton nudges eir shoulder, looking at where he’s pointing. The pumpkin patch is up ahead; their destination for the next twenty minutes before they’re taken back to the parking lot. Ey smile, relaxing as they get nearer. Once it stops, everyone climbs out, the children running around looking for pumpkins and tired-looking parents following behind. Patton takes Logan’s hand as they get out, the two of them walking around calmly, looking at the pumpkins.

“Lo, are you afraid of horses?” Logan looks down at Patton, eir eyebrows furrowing with confusion. “What would give you that idea?” Patton shrugs, looking up at em. “Well, you got really tense when we got near the horse, and you squeezed my hand really tight. You know it won’t hurt you, right? They’re big, sweet, gentle scaredy cats!” Logan huffs a laugh and nods. “I know, Patton. Thank you.” Soon their break is over, and everyone piles back on the hay ride. Patton and Logan talk quietly on the way back, pointing out things they see along the path. The cart hits a bump, sending Patton falling out of the cart.

Logan startles, lunging forward to grab Patton before he can fully tumble out, gripping him around his waist. Patton’s eyes are wide with shock, and other passengers around the cart are frozen in various states of surprise and mid-help, hands outstretched still like they might be able to catch Patton. Logan stares for what seems like hours, heart beating quickly and hay poking through eir pants, scratching eir shins. Ey don’t feel it, only thinking of Patton as ey help him back onto the cart. Ey smack his shoulder lightly. “Be more careful, next time. You can grab onto me if you need.” Patton smiles and nods silently, wrapping his arms around one of Logan’s own. Logan blushes, going quiet and looking out over the farm as it passed and they neared the parking lot.

Logan guessed hay rides weren’t so bad.


	12. Instead of Throwing Heads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Apple Picking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Analogical
> 
> Summary: Logan takes Virgil apple-picking. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: slight injury, dw it’s okay, gay nerds pickin apples

Virgil scuffed his shoe in the dirt, kicking a half-rotten apple across the leaf-laden ground. Who even picked apples anymore? Seriously, don’t they pay people to do that? Why were they paying to do it themselves????

Apparently Logan thought it was a good idea, so here they were.

was eight in the morning, the sun was stuck behind thick, grey clouds, and the wind had been blowing all morning. Virgil’s patchwork hoodie was zipped up to keep the wind out, his hands shoved in the pockets. He’d been following Logan around with a bucket for at least half an hour now, and they’d only gone to a few trees.

They were going to be here all day.

Virgil looked up at Logan, who was standing on a ladder to reach the apples. Virgil had set the bucket at the base of the tree, and he was just waiting for Logan to get a freaking apple. But Logan was short. He stood nearly at the top of the ladder, stretching to reach for the nearest apple. Virgil had offered to get it for him, but being his stubborn self, he’d said, “That won’t be necessary. I assure you that I am quite capable of picking apples.”

Sure, yeah, if you can reach them.

Virgil watched Logan stubbornly struggle with the same apple for at least five minutes before sighing and walking over to the ladder. “Lo, let me grab it. It’s fine, it’s just an apple.” Logan opens his mouth to protest, but Virgil gives him a Look, so he shuts his mouth and steps off the ladder.

Virgil tries not to look smug as he climbs the ladder, looking around for the closest apples. The sooner they did this, the sooner they could go home for blanket cuddles and Doctor Who. Virgil stands on the second step, his ankles pressing into the ladder as he leans over just slightly to grab an apple. He pulls it off the tree, looking down and tossing it to Logan, who puts it in the bucket. Virgil picks a few more like this, and the bucket is about half-full now.

He looks around, not seeing any in his immediate vicinity, but there’s a few a little further out. He leans over, grabbing one just as the ladder shakes. Logan jumps to attention and grabs the ladder. “Careful, Virgil. Please try and refrain from falling off the ladder.” Virgil just rolls his eyes and tosses the apple down. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, stop worrying.” He leans over to grab the next apple, this one a little further than the last, and his fingers are just brushing the fruit when he loses his footing.

He topples forward, falling off the ladder ass-over-teakettle and smacking the back of his head on the ladder. Logan shouts something, probably Virgil’s name, but then Virgil hits the ground hard and everything goes black.

* * *

Virgil wakes up with Logan crouched over him, looking vaguely panicked and slightly dishevelled. Virgil groans as he opens his eyes, his head throbbing with a massive headache. Just great, exactly what he needed today. Logan sighed in relief when Virgil opened his eyes, sitting back to give Virgil some space. Virgil sits up slowly, rubbing the back of his head and wincing. “Shit, that hurt…”

Logan moves closer once he’s deemed that Virgil is okay enough, checking him over for injuries. “How do you feel? Does anything hurt?” Virgil gives Logan a tired Look. “Everything hurts. I fell off a ladder.” Logan stops his inspection and flicks Virgil’s forehead. “You know what I meant.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, Lo. Really.”

Logan nods, standing up and holding a hand out for Virgil. Virgil takes it and stands, dusting all the dirt and leaves off his clothes as Logan speaks up. “I believe it would be best to head home at this time, given the circumstances.” Virgil looks up at Logan with a slight frown. “Are you sure, Logan? Our bucket isn’t even full.” Logan nods. “Yes, I am sure. We have more than enough for Patton’s apple pies, and you’ve just sustained a head injury. You need to rest.”

Almost as if on cue, Virgil stumbles, and Logan reaches out to steady him. He wraps an arm around Virgil to help support him, grabbing their bucket and walking back to the car. When Virgil tries to get in the driver’s side, Logan stops him and holds out a hand expectantly. After a silent stand-off, Virgil rolls his eyes and drops the keys in Logan’s waiting palm and gets in on the passenger’s side.

They spend the rest of the day relaxing at home, watching movies at a low volume and eating whatever’s most convenient. Logan refuses to let Virgil get off the couch unless he’s using the bathroom, so he has to serve Virgil hand and foot (not that either of them are complaining). When Patton comes by for the apples and Logan tells him what happened, Patton slaps Virgil upside the head, berating him for not being more careful. Logan points out how hitting Virgil on the head isn’t the best idea as the other rubs his sore head, and Patton spends the next ten minutes apologizing.


	13. Year After Year (It's the Same Routine)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Friday the 13th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paring: LAMP/CALM
> 
> Summary: Patton loves many things, but Friday the 13th is not one of them. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: superstition, cute poly boyos, Patt’s not all that into religion because lots of ppl use it as an excuse to hurt others, but he doesn’t have a problem with ppl being religious, cute phone contact names

Patton loved Halloween, and October, and black cats, and children’s Halloween movies, and candy, and- **  
**

Patton loved a lot of things.

One of these things, however, was definitely  _not_ Friday the 13th. Patton had always been very superstitious, even going out of his way to avoid cracks in the sidewalk so he wouldn’t break his poor mother’s back! Needless to say, he did not like Friday the 13th. At all. It was especially bad if it was in October, and this year it was! He’d already decided that he’d stay inside all day, not use the stove or oven, and stay to the couch as much as possible.

It was only Monday.

Patton had sent a text through the group chat to let his boyfriends know that he wasn’t going to be available on Friday, due to his plans to not leave the couch for anything short of a life-or-death situation. It had taken 45 seconds for the texts to come pouring in; Logan’s confusion and exasperation, Roman’s promises to slay any threat that may befall them, and Virgil’s slightly-sarcastic support and kneedling.

Patton tried to reassure them, telling them that it was okay, he just didn’t want to risk anything. Logan assured Patton that superstition held no standing in the real world, and that scientifically, most - if not all - superstition was improbable or impossible. Patton knew that, but there was just something about it that resonated with him, and despite what others said he would always believe it. Just like religious people believed in God, despite most of them not able to tell you  _where_ The Big Man even  _was_.

 **Rosen Bridge** : Patton, religion and superstition are not the same thing.

 **Patt-ernal Love** : I mean… They are???

 **Patt-ernal Love** : Religion is based on old books that people just kind of assume have to be true just because other people wrote the same thing

 **Patt-ernal Love** : And I get that! But that doesnt mean the stuff theyre writing about is right, or that were interpreting it right

 **Storm Cloud <3**: can we not do the religion thing today pls

 **Roman Empire** : i promise my love, i shall protect you from any and all harm!

 **Patt-ernal Love** : I know you would, baby

 **Patt-ernal Love** : But I still dont think its a good idea

 **Storm Cloud <3**: then y dont we just come ovr

 **Storm Cloud <3**: movie night

 **Storm Cloud <3**: sleepover

 **Storm Cloud <3**: watevr

 **Roman Empire** : magnificent idea, johnny wept!

 **Storm Cloud <3**: 2/10

 **Storm Cloud <3**: poor presentation

 **Rosen Bridge** : Roman, Virgil, please. We are adults.

 **Storm Cloud <3**: try again

 **Storm Cloud <3**: wow logan way to cut a guy off thats totally not rude

 **Rosen Bridge** : I do apologize, Virgil, but you were both getting off-topic.

 **Roman Empire** : right! i think a sleepover is a terrific idea!

 **Patt-ernal Love** : Yeah! Lets do it!

 **Storm Cloud <3**: so wat r we doing

 **Storm Cloud <3**: coming ovr thursday night or

 **Patt-ernal Love** : Sure!  

The conversation continued for another twenty minutes like that, the four men planning their Thursday/Friday hangout until Virgil had to go to class and Logan had to get back to work. Patton figured he should probably head to school too and pocketed his phone, grabbing his keys and leaving his apartment.

The rest of his week passed by both achingly slow and too fast, and before Patton knew it, it was Thursday. He got through his classes with jittery legs and ecstatic smiles, heading home in the early afternoon and rushing around to get his apartment cleaned. He knew Logan and Virgil were going to be early at the very least. Logan because he liked to be punctual, and Virgil because he was always anxious about being late to anything so he set alarms on his phone for at least thirty minutes before he really had to leave. Patton had just sat down when the doorbell rang, and he hopped up to his feet to answer it. He opened the door with a smile, the smile growing when he saw Virgil on the other side with a backpack slung over his shoulder, gripping one of the straps. He gives a lazy wave with his other hand, smiling just slightly.

“Hey, Pat.”

Patton throws himself at Virgil, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. Virgil stumbles, surprised, and awkwardly pats Patton’s back. “P-Pat… Can’t breathe…” He wheezes. Patton lets go, smiling sheepishly. “Oh, sorry Virge!” Virgil shrugs it off and enters the apartment, sitting on the couch. Patton joins him, and Virgil almost immediately cuddles close, worming under Patton’s arm. He doesn’t mind; he loves cuddling with his boyfriends! He kisses the top of Virgil’s head and puts on Scary Godmother.

Logan came not too long after, Patton letting him in with the same smile and bone-crushing hug that he’d given Virgil. He pulled Logan into their cuddle pile, Virgil now sandwiched between two of his boyfriends (not that he was complaining). The three cuddled together for the next hour until Roman showed up, letting himself into the apartment with a flourish and confidently striding into the living room. He flops onto the couch, throwing himself across the others’ laps. Patton cards his hands through Roman’s hair. Logan gently massages Roman’s calves. Virgil rests his arms on Roman’s back.

Once Scary Godmother was over, Patton got up (with much complaining from Roman and Virgil) and made them all some popcorn, handing each person their own bowl and sitting back down. The next few hours passed like this, with the men watching Halloween movies and chatting or commenting on the movies. Virgil is the first one to fall asleep, head resting on Logan’s shoulder and mouth slightly open. The others make sure to speak quietly and turn down the volume on the TV so they don’t wake him, and it isn’t long until Patton is asleep as well, his hand stilling in Roman’s hair.

Roman looks up at Logan, who’s staring at the TV without really paying attention to it. Roman whispers, “What’re you thinking about, Specs?” Logan looks over at him, blinking tiredly.

“I am simply confused as to why people believe their actions hold a direct causation to something as unprovable as ‘luck’.” Roman blinks, smiling. “Well you don’t need to understand it to support him. I don’t get it either, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s ‘our happy-pappy-Patton’.” He says with a smirk. Logan smiles slightly and nods. “I suppose you are right. Perhaps we should get some sleep, it is rather late.”

Roman nods, grabbing the remote and turning the TV off and falling asleep soon after.

The next day, Patton wakes up surrounded by his boyfriends. The four of them have a quiet breakfast indoors, then settle in the living room for more movies and a gaming marathon (read: Mario Kart), broken up by lunch and snacks. Nothing at all substantial or scary happened - unless you count Roman shrieking when he entered the kitchen to find Virgil sitting on top of the fridge - and the day passed with little fanfare, just like any other day Patton spent with his boyfriends.

He guessed he could learn to love Friday the 13th too.


	14. I Can't Believe My Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Pumpkin Spice Lattes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Virgil has a secret. Roman is more than thrilled to discover it. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human AU, Logan is non-binary, Dee has vitiligo, bois obsessed with caffeine, idk man it was just funny, mentioned Logince

Everyone needs caffeine. At least, Virgil thought so; there were certainly plenty of people he knew who could benefit from an IV of the stuff straight into their bloodstream (including himself). Of course, one could get this caffeine a number of different ways. All one had to do was look at Virgil’s friends and family to see as much.

His older brother, Remy, preferred green tea. He drank the stuff like it was going out of style. Sure, he’d drink something gaudy like a non-fat, soy frappe (or whatever, it’s not like Virgil even heard half the stuff his brother rattled off) if he really needed the caffeine, but usually it was green tea.

Logan, his best friend since elementary school, drank coffee with an almost imperceptible amount of sugar. It was really weird, considering they had an enormous sweet tooth, but Virgil couldn’t exactly judge. Logan would need at least one cup of coffee before they tried to deal with Roman’s shit.

Roman, Logan’s boyfriend and Virgil’s other best friend, stuck almost exclusively to annoyingly long Starbucks orders. Non-fat this, extra foam that, sugar, chocolate drizzle, whatever. He was  _that_ guy, and Virgil never let him live it down. Honestly, he had no idea how Roman wasn’t like, putting on weight, or super jittery (with the exception of that one time Virgil had walked in on him literally vibrating from caffeine at 2 AM because he was trying to study for a final).

Patton was the group dad, despite being the same age as all of them. He heartily denied any sort of coffee or energy drink; instead, he drank soda. Mostly diet soda, because it was healthier (or so he claimed). He always said coffee tasted gross to him, so he preferred soda. Virgil could understand that.

Dee, Virgil’s twin, practically lived on energy drinks. You’d be hard-pressed to find Dee at a time without some kind of Monster or Rockstar clutched in his dual-pigmented hand. His sleep schedule was absolute hell, but he didn’t care. He liked the taste of energy drinks, and if he didn’t drink at least one a day, it took him hours to fully wake up. Everyone else left him to his own devices after Logan had tried to take his Monster from him one day and Dee had literally hissed and bitten Logan’s hand.

As far as anyone else knew, Virgil was the same as Dee. And he was! For the most part. He drank energy drinks when he woke up exhausted (read: almost every day), but he also drank green tea when Remy got on his case for drinking “battery acid”, as he called it (he got after both twins, but Dee would just glare and crack open a second can out of spite). What no one knew - except for Remy - was that Virgil fucking  _loved_ pumpkin spice lattes.

That is, until he walked into his apartment with Remy, each of them with a Starbucks in hand, to find Roman on his couch.

Virgil had gone out with Remy to one of his mandatory family bonding times, the two getting their nails done, seeing a movie, and hitting up a Starbucks - completely routine for them. Usually, they’d have their bonding time and Remy would join Virgl back at his apartment for dinner, then go home. Usually, their monthly ritual was a secret because none of their friends ever joined them. Usually, Virgil only got water or hot chocolate.

It was October, so they had pumpkin spice lattes.

Roman needed Virgil’s help with precalculus homework, and he had a key to Virgil’s place (for health reasons - Virgil forgot to take care of himself).

So when Virgil and Remy found Roman sitting on Virgil’s couch, both their eyes widened. Virgil nearly dropped his drink, and later he’d swear his soul left his body, but right now all that was running through his head was  _Oh my god he knows he can see you your reputation is ruined you’ll **never** live this down_ as he stared down Roman, who looked just as surprised as him.

Remy recovered first, heading to the kitchen to look for a snack since it was only mid-afternoon, telling Virgil to put on Gilmore Girls because, “We totes need to finish season five, gurl!” Virgil stood in the middle of the entryway for what seemed like ages before Roman’s surprised look started to turn into one of smug glee, snapping Virgil out of his thoughts. Virgil pointed an accusing finger at Roman, squinting down at where he still sat on the couch.

“If you tell anyone about this, I’m telling Logan about Sir Squiggles.”

The smile disappeared almost as soon as it appeared.


	15. Make You Jump Out of Your Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Pranks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Deceit really loves October. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: sympathetic Deceit, Dee plays pranks, it’s funny, s/o to @lucifer-in-my-head for helping me with Patton’s idea.

Deceit loved October. Not for the reason most people loved it; sure, he liked Halloween, but there was something much better in his opinion. Pranks. **  
**

September was spent in careful planning, observing the other sides and planning the best ways to scare them (it was all harmless fun, of course. He never genuinely terrified them). The closer it got to October, the more tense the others became. They knew what was coming; Deceit did this every year. They were long past hoping to bribe him out of pranking them - he’d take the bribe and prank them anyways.

Roman had elected to stay in the Imagination as much as possible, knowing Deceit wouldn’t follow him inside, but he had to come out eventually. It was nearly an entire week before he left his room, sneaking down the hall to the kitchen. Dee had been waiting in the living room, plan already in action. As Roman snuck down the stairs, something dropped down and sprayed his entire body in spray-on glue. Roman cried out and tried to batt at the spray in his face. It disappears, and he takes two more steps. Suddenly, black glitter confetti drops down on him, sticking to the glue.

Dee looked up as Roman shouted angrily, smirking as he watched Roman flail around, trying to get the glitter to un-stick. Patton looked over through the opening between the kitchen and living room, snrking and covering his mouth with his hands. “Wow, Roman, you look-”

“Don’t you dare.”

“-positively sparkling!”

Roman groans, slumping down to sit in Virgil’s usual spot on the stairs. Patton laughs and goes back to making dinner, and Dee turns back to the TV, satisfied. One prank down, three to go.

* * *

Logan spent his time divided between his room and the commons. He was almost always reading in the commons, preferring the background noise of the other four to the silence of his room. Dee waited until Logan had retired back to his room to get some work done before setting up phase one of his prank.

Logan had left his book on the armrest of his chair, as always. It was sort of a silent agreement that no one ever touched Logan’s books, just like no one ever touched Virgil’s phone or Patton’s cat hoodie. Deceit got up from his spot on the couch and grabbed Logan’s book, flipping it open to the page Logan had marked. He conjured a jar of crofters, flipping to the next page and spreading a thin layer of jelly on it, then stuck the two pages together. Once he was certain the two pages were firmly stuck, he set the book back down as if nothing had happened, sitting in his place. Logan comes back a few hours later to find Deceit still watching TV, and his book waiting for him. Deceit watches carefully out of the corner of his eye as Logan reads, paying more attention as Logan went to turn the page.

And found it stuck.

To the entire rest of the book.

Evidently, the jelly had squished out of the sides and stuck all of the pages together; far more than Dee really meant to do. Logan had ripped of Deceit’s cape and put a dent on his bowler hat before Dee managed to get his door shut.

Two pranks down, two to go.

* * *

Anyone who knew Patton knew that he kept virtually everything Thomas ever loved. This included stuffed animals, old photos, the Rainforest Rap, even children’s books he’d read. Dee didn’t want to get in the way of that. Oh, no, no, he didn’t.

He just wanted to make some improvements.

He managed to talk a still-disgruntled Roman into taking Patton into the imagination with him to have some fun for the day, waving the two off before heading to Patton’s room. He conjured a laptop, searching through Patton’s internet history. He knew the other side had looked it up; it was in one of the Sander’s Sides video endcaps… Ah, here we go.

Four hours later, he exited Patton’s room with a smug smile, carrying the laptop under his arm. Now all he had to do was wait.

He wasn’t disappointed; later that evening, several hours after Roman and Patton had returned, dinner was made and eaten, and the sides all retired to their rooms, a sudden, bellowing, hair-raising scream tore through the mindscape.

“DECEIT SANDERS! DID YOU REALLY REPLACE EVERY CHILDREN’S BOOK WITH SANDER’S SIDES FANFICTION?!?!”

It took the combined strength of the other three to keep Patton from ripping Deceit’s door off its hinges.

Three pranks down, one to go.

* * *

Virgil was rather hard to plan for. He was Thomas’ anxiety, meaning he was always in a perpetual state of assuming there was something out to get him, that the worst case scenario would happen, that some kind of setback would inevitably happen, so Deceit always spent the most amount of time thinking over how to get him. He’d gone through every jump-scare, surprise bomb, and slight of hand he could think of, but nothing would have made it under Virgil’s radar. Unless…..

It took a lot of work (read: stalking Virgil) to get his hands on Virgil’s phone, but he did it.

It took him too long to figure out how to mess with it, since technology wasn’t really his thing, but he eventually managed to figure it out. He deleted every song Virgil had saved to his phone. Every. Single. One. And replaced them with seven What’s New Pussycats, one It’s Not Unusual, then eleven more What’s New Pussycats. He put Virgil’s phone back, then sank out to his room.

Three hours later, Virgil opened his door suddenly, squinting at the lying side from across the room. Dee just smirked at him. “How long did it take you to realize?” He asked. Virgil’s eyes narrowed more. “After four What’s New Pussycats, you asshole.”

God, Dee loved October.


	16. Why, That Looks so Unique (Inspired)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Couples Costume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: LAMP/CALM
> 
> Summary: No one makes couples costumes for polyam relationships. The boys decide to take matters into their own hands, with a little help from Steven Universe. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human AU, costumes, fusions, halloween, roman’s good at art (unlike me), cute boyos

It was easy to find a couples costume. There were thousands, some cute and silly, some sexual, and some punny or referential. The world was overfilled with couples costumes. It wasn’t a question of finding a couples costume. It was finding one for four people. **  
**

No one made couples costumes for polyam people.

Sure, they could just pair up and wear two different couples costumes, but Roman complained no matter what the arrangement was and Patton really, really wanted to match with everyone! So they were back to square one. They tried looking for two different couples costumes that had the same theme, but it was still painfully obvious (at least to them) that it was two pairs instead of a set of four.

Logan and Virgil searched stores and the internet endlessly on the chance that they’ll stumble upon the one group costume in existence, but they had no luck. Roman wanted to have costumes commissioned. It took hours of non-stop weedling to get Logan to agree to the expense, only to find that no one could finish four costumes in the amount of time they needed. The one person who claimed they could charged outrageous prices, and the reviews weren’t great.

“Let’s just make them ourselves!” Patton kicked his feet, sitting in the middle of Roman’s couch. Roman jumps up, looking down at Patton. “That’s a-!”

“Horrible idea. I can’t sew.”

Roman pouts, and Patton looks over at Virgil sitting on the corner table. “You can’t lie to us Virge, we all know you made that nifty jacket!” Virgil smiled slightly, playing with the zipper on his sleeve. “Well, yeah…..”

“Then we can totally do it! Besides, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Come on, it’ll be fun!” Virgil chews on his lip for a moment before nodding. Patton hugs him tightly, Roman cheering and fist-pumping the air. Patton looks over at Logan. “Lo? You gonna make costumes with us?” Logan looks around at his boyfriends and sighs. “I suppose I am outnumbered. Sure, but I cannot promise any sort of decent product.”

The conversation quickly devolved into talking about what kind of costumes they were going to make, but no one could agree on a theme. It was starting to devolve into arguing when Roman suddenly gasped, running to his room. The other three quickly stop talking and watch Roman’s retreating form with matching expressions of confusion.

“Ro? What’re you doing?”

Roman comes back a moment later holding a sketchbook to his chest with a wide grin. “I have the best idea.” He sits on the couch, opening the sketchbook. The others sit around him, leaning over to see a drawing of Roman himself, with some slight yet noticeable changes. For one thing, he had horns, wings, and four eyes. Or, well, Virgil was assuming it was four eyes; his hair was in his face, blocking the other side. He was wearing some sort of jacket with a wide collar and light grey sleeves, with those weird shoulder tassels that princes had, but red. He also had on fingerless, black gloves, his nails painted red, and a plaid red cape (which didn’t actually look as bad as it sounds). The jacket was knee-length, and a red sash wrapped around his waist accented the black article perfectly. Virgil stared at the picture for a few minutes before looking at Roman.

“Is this some weird OC thing I should be worried about?”

Roman laughs. “No, of course not! Well… maybe? But it’s nothing to worry about.” He gestures at the picture. “It’s our fusion!” Logan and Virgil share a look. “…Fusion?”

“Like Steven Universe! Awwww~ Ro! That’s so  _cute_!”

Roman smiles. “Thanks, Pat. I have one for all of us. Well, there’s like, 16 technically, but I think these four would be perfect for costumes!” He flips through the sketchbook, showing the other drawings. There was one of Patton, wearing a mask and carrying a sword and shield. He had white-and-blue cat ears, a white tail, as well as a white-and-blue knee-length jacket and red shirt (complete with cravat), and a third eye in the center of his forehead. Virgil thought to himself that it looked very Kingdom Hearts-esque.

The next page held a man who looked remarkably like Logan, with blue-dyed tips to his hair, a plethora of bracelets on his wrists, a satchel, and heart-shaped, pink glasses (and a third eye, much like Patton and Roman’s fusion). He was wearing a tie as always, but this one had some kind of creatures on it. Dinosaurs? He wore the most garish shorts Logan thinks he’s ever seen, along with mismatched socks and sandals. All in all, it wasn’t too out there, even for Logan (despite the arguably poor fashion choices), and the man couldn’t deny he rather liked it. Virgil laughed. “Two guesses who that’s supposed to be.” Logan smiles, glancing at the picture. “I would have to assume that this is a combination of Patton and I, due to the Dad Jokes For Dummies book and the slight… eccentricities.”

“Right you are, my good man! This is the most…. Normal fusion of you that I have.” Roman flipped through a few more pages, and Virgil got a glimpse of an apparent Logan-Roman fusion. It looked awesome, but Virgil understood what Roman meant.

Roman settled on a picture that looked like a perfect mix of Logan and Virgil. It still had the eyeshadow that covered sleep-deprivation-induced bags, Virgil’s gages, and his normal black-and-purple dress theme, but there was one thing off about it that the other three hadn’t had. “Roman.” Virgil muttered, “Why dies it have four arms?” Roman shrugs, seemingly not put-off by the question. “It just seemed right.”

“Well I like it! You should do that one, Virge!” Patton jumped a bit in his spot, grinning excitedly. Logan adjusted his glasses, which Virgil knew he was doing just to hide his smirk. “Yes, I quite agree,  I think you would look fetching.” Virgil rolled his eyes. “You guys just wanna see me dress like a square.”

“Yep!”

“Affirmative.”

Virgil sighed, running a hand through his hair. He needed to re-dye it, honestly, but now that he was looking at the sketch it might be a good idea to wait. “…. Okay, fine. I’ll do it.”

It took them awhile to get everything together. Virgil and Logan were easiest, since their outfits were pretty standard, but then Virgil had to make two extra sleeves and  _arms_ because  _someone_ just felt like adding limbs to people. He managed it though, snagging some prosthetics online and attaching them to his own arms via fishing line. Patton and Roman were a little harder, since their costumes would have to be made completely by hand and they both had pieces they had to affix to their heads. Virgil helped them out with sewing, but he left the rest to Roman since he had experience with stuff like stage makeup and cosmetic prosthetics.

Finally, Halloween arrived and they were all standing in their costumes in Roman’s living room, admiring one another. Virgil checked the time (he was wearing four watches, after all. As a little joke to himself, they were each set for a different timezone) and spoke up, interrupting Patton and Roman’s gushing.

“We need to get going if we want to be there on time.” He pushed the fake glasses he was wearing up his nose, making Patton squeal because “That’s so Logan!” They all head out together, making it to Remy’s party ‘fashionably late’ and mingling with the growing crowd. They got tons of compliments, plenty of people asking where they’d gotten their costumes and being pleasantly surprised to hear they were handmade. Virgil smiled as he watched Roman and Patton play-fight, Roman pretending to be a dragon witch (whatever that was) and Patton being the brave hero. He guessed it was a good thing they hadn’t managed to find a four-person couples costume; this was much more special.


	17. And How You'll Scream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Scary Movies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Moxiety
> 
> Summary: Virgil talks Patton into watching a Halloween movie with him, despite how nervous they are.
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human AU, non-binary Patton, halloween movies, cute supportive boyfriends, patton gets scared but virgil comforts them

Patton sat beside Virgil on the couch, fiddling with their purple bracelet. “I don’t know, Virge, it looks really scary.” Virgil wrapped an arm around them with an amused smile. “It’s not scary at all, trust me! You’ll love it.”

“Okay…”

Virgil pressed play, keeping Patton close as the movie started, humming softly to the soundtrack. Patton… guessed this wasn’t too scary. They could do this. The entire scene, from the buildings to the animals to the people themselves, were gloomy. The color was desaturated, turned to dead, muted perversions of the real thing, and it made Patton feel uncomfortable. They scoot closer to Virgil, practically pressing into his side. He kisses their hair, running his fingers through the soft pink locks as he watches the movie.

Wind blows, birds crow, and something grabs the main character’s ankle, pulling him down. Patton whimpers and presses their face into Virgil’s neck, refusing to look at the TV as the music becomes more sinister and something starts to come out of the ground. Dried, gnarled roots snap as the something rises out of the ground. Patton screams, clutching at Virgil desperately.

The pale, undead monster starts chasing the main character, and Patton is shaking in Virgil’s arms. Virgil frowns slightly, rubbing their arms to try and comfort them.They cry out and flinch whenever the main character stumbles or runs into something and the monster gains ground. It moves effortlessly across the frozen ground, the main character slipping and scrambling for purchase then stumbling over rocks and roots, but the monster seems unaffected.

The very trees themselves seem to be trying to aid the monster, grabbing at the man’s clothing to keep him in place. He breaks free, his clothes ripping, and Patton shivers. Virgil’s arms tighten around them, gaze flickering between the movie and his datemate. The man makes it to town, the monster seeming to have disappeared, and his labored breathing matches Patton’s own, pupils dilated with fear. The man turns around, and suddenly the monster is there! He tries to back away, but it has him cornered. It grabs the man by the shoulders, leaning in, and-

“Aaaaaaaahhhh!!!!” Patton flings themselves onto Virgil, hugging him tightly, trembling like they’ve been out in the cold. Virgil pauses the movie, rubbing Patton’s back. “Hey, it’s okay… I’m sorry, we don’t have to watch this if you don’t want to.”

His only response is a whimper, so he turns off the TV and holds Patton until their shaking stops. Once he’s sure his datemate is okay, he asks softly. “Not to sound mean, but… How do you get scared by Corpse Bride?” Patton is silent for a moment before their shoulders start to shake, and Virgil is worried he’s made them cry until he can just barely hear laughter. Patton sits up, grinning and still trying not to laugh. “I-it was scary! Everything was gloomy, and the music was scary, and she was chasing him!” Virgil can’t help the amused smirk. “Okay, okay. Sure. I’m sorry I scared you like that, then. Do you want to watch Halloweentown?”

Patton bounces excitedly. “Yeah!”


	18. Feels Like Tragedies at Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Monsters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: platonic ThVi
> 
> summary: Virgil doesn’t sleep. He isn’t capable of sleeping anymore, and he hates it. But one night, Thomas can’t sleep either. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human(ish) AU, shitty summary, ghost virgil, witch thomas, idk are these really monsters?, sorry yall, reference to death

Virgil moved through the house, floating a few inches off the ground with his shoulders hunched and head down. He hated the night time, because the living were usually asleep and he was alone with his thoughts. He floated into the kitchen, looking around in the dim light provided by the streetlight just beyond the front yard. Of course Thomas had left the dishes on the counter. Again. Seriously, that man was a disaster waiting to happen.

Virgil focuses on what he’s doing as he fills the sink with soapy water and starts to wash the dishes. He didn’t mind doing the chores so much, since it gave him something to do, but he wished Thomas wasn’t so forgetful. It wasn’t just the dishes he left lying around, after all. Spell books, half-melted candles, crystal balls and various pouches of herbs littered the living room and kitchen, with a small pile of unwashed cauldrons slowly growing in the corner of the living room. If Thomas kept this up, something was going to explode or summon something and they’d both be screwed.

Virgil was so preoccupied with cleaning and worrying over his friend that he hadn’t noticed when someone else entered the kitchen. The light suddenly turns on, making Virgil flinch. He turns around, sponge and glass in hand, to see Thomas. The witch still seemed half-asleep, eyes barely open and hair a mess, only in a pair of sleep pants. Virgil frowns slightly. “Thomas, why the hell are you awake? It’s-” He looks at the stove clock. “-two in the morning.”

Thomas rubs his face tiredly and shuffles into the kitchen, grabbing a clean glass and filling it with water. “Couldn’t really stay asleep; too worried.” Virgil turns around to fully face Thomas, who was now sitting at the table. Virgil sits on the kitchen counter. “About what?” Thomas shrugs, staring down at his water. “Just a feeling.” Virgil didn’t like that; Thomas had this strange ability to predict trouble, but it was always a vague feeling - he never knew what would  _actually_ happen. Virgil sighed, rubbing his face.

“Well, whatever it is, we’ll get through it, right?” Thomas nods, smiling up at Virgil. “Right. Sorry Virge, I’m always worrying over nothing.” Virgil shakes his head, holding his hands out. “Hey, no, you have every right to be nervous. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and recognize the concern than to brush it off and have something seriously messed up happen.” Thomas shrugs slightly and nods again. “I guess… I just hope this isn’t anything like last time.” Virgil would have paled if he had blood. His hand unconsciously goes to his chest, gripping his shirt. Thomas’ slight frown deepens. “…Sorry.”

Virgil swallows and shakes his head. “No, it’s fine. You’re right. This time you have my help though; we’ll be okay.” Thomas smiles slightly, not quite believing Virgil, but he nods anyways. “Yeah, okay.”


	19. Something's Waiting Now to Pounce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Haunted House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Moxiety
> 
> Summary: Virgil and Patton go to a haunted house and someone gets too scared to finish what they started. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human AU, this is based off of a real event, i went to a haunted house with my friend, i was virgil, some spook/angst/suspense(?), minor swearing

Virgil hadn’t been too sure about the haunted house, but Patton was really looking forward to it, and he couldn’t let down his best friend. He’d gone to a small theme park with him to spend the day riding roller coasters and driving on the racetrack, and once the sun had gone down the haunted house opened. The park had actors in costume walking around the entire park to draw up business for the haunted house. Patton had dragged Virgil in line, waiting for twenty minutes to get in. During that time, actors kept walking along the line trying to scare people.

A man dressed as a werewolf came running at Virgil and Patton. Patton gripped Virgil’s sleeve and Virgil froze as the werewolf slid to his knees for the last few feet, dragging his metal claws on the ground and causing sparks. Virgil is completely still, not even moving his face. The werewolf gets up and keeps walking. Among other monsters and scary creatures, there was a clown that would slowly pace the line, winding up his jack-in-the-box. Virgil never saw it pop open, but it played the music.

When they finally got inside, Virgil’s anxiety immediately shot up. It was dark, there were lights flashing up ahead, and there were cloths and spider webs hanging all over the place, making it nearly impossible to see if there was anyone hiding, or even how big of a space they were in. Patton clung to Virgil’s arm, and the two of them slowly walked through the haunted house. Virgil’s eyes dart around near constantly as the two of them move at a snail’s pace, catching a glimpse of one of the actors and staring them down as he passed with Patton.

They enter a room, and Virgil barely has time to take in the appearance of the hospital with the strobe lights before actors are descending on them. Patton whimpers and clings tighter, and Virgil’s face sets into a scowl. He takes Patton’s hand, squeezing it tightly and pulling him along. As they get closer to the actors, Virgil bares his teeth and shouts at them, swiping at them with his free hand and making the closest ones back away. He moves on to the hallways, and Patton whines as the actors watch them leave. They reach a point where it seems like they can either keep going or enter a room, and two figures suddenly show up in front of and behind the two men. Patton whimpers. “V-Virgil~!” Virgil tugs on Patton’s arm, but he doesn’t move.

“Come on, keep going!” He shouts, pulling Patton into the room. This one seems to be smaller than the last, and a mental hospital ward. There are more actors in this room, all twitching and moving in ways that makes the hair raise on Virgil’s neck and arms. He stepped in front of Patton, protecting him from the actors. In some part of his mind he still knew these were actors, so he just snarled at them and feinted punches or kicks. Patton cries out for Virgil again, asking Virgil to just leave, and Virgil frantically scans the area.

There’s no exit. There’s no fucking exit, where do they go??? Virgil searches everywhere, Patton becoming more and more panicked behind him. He spots the emergency exit door, marked with glow in the dark paint, and he doesn’t hesitate to pull Patton through it. He didn’t want to be called a wuss (which was what happened if you left the haunted house too soon) but Patton was freaking out. An employee (thankfully not in costume) walks up to them as the door shuts heavily behind them and hands them two pins. Wuss #56 and Wuss #57. Virgil feels frustrated. He isn’t sure why, but it makes him angry that they’re making fun of people who are just having a natural - or sometimes heightened - reaction to fear.

Virgil looks over at Patton, who’s thankfully started to calm down. “You good, Pat?” Patton nods, taking a deep breath. “Wanna go home and cuddle?” Patton nods again, and Virgil smiles, taking his hand. “Come on then, I’ll drive.”


	20. Won't the Children be Surprised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Haunted Carnival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paring: platonic LAMPDS
> 
> Summary: Patton convinces the others to explore a supposedly haunted carnival with him. It… doesn’t exactly end the way they’d thought it would
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human AU, haunted carnivals, spoopy, remy’s a butt, is he real? no one knows

When Patton had heard the words haunted carnival, he got excited. He loved spooky stuff! Not scary stuff, like those jumpscare electronic Halloween decorations, but plain old, good-fun spooky things. Being the positive person he was, he hoped that this haunted carnival was more on the spooky side than the scary side. He’d somehow managed to talk the others into coming with him, and now the five of them were all standing at the entrance to the carnival. Of course, they had to do this at night to maximize spookiness, so they’d waited until the sun had gone down to head over with flashlights in hand and jackets on to protect against the growing chill.

Patton held Virgil’s hand, smiling at him and squeezing gently. Virgil smiles back a bit hesitantly, glancing at what he could see of the carnival. This was definitely spooky, he’d give it that much. Roman looks around, shoulders back and hands on his hips, smiling. He starts walking, heading right for the entrance, and Virgil tries to grab him. “What are you doing? Don’t split up!” Roman rolls his eyes. “Relax, Morticia Sadams, there’s nothing here. It’s all just parlor tricks set up to scare intruders off!” With that, he marched through the archway, and the other four rushed to follow.

Dee walked alongside Virgil while the other three walked together slightly ahead, chatting and shining their flashlights at everything. “With our luck, this place won’t be haunted.” Virgil hummed, taking Dee’s hand without a word. His eyes flitted to every dark corner, his ears caught every creak, snap, and scuff sound. Dee squeezed his hand when he noticed Virgil getting too tense, making Virgil take a deep breath. The five men walk through the game area, stalls full of bottles, rings, toy guns and stuffed animals.

Suddenly, Roman is squirted with water. He sputters, trying to slap the water away, and the other four stare on in shock. One of the water guns belonging to a game had turned completely around and seemed to be firing on its own, dowsing Roman in water that was god knows how old and gross. It eventually runs out, and Roman stands there, miffed, dripping old dirty water. After a long, tense pause, Virgil breaks out into laughter, leaning on Dee for support. Roman sticks his tongue out, then turns to continue walking.

Patton follows, unable to hide his amused smile. Logan moves over to study the water gun, turning it and checking the firing mechanism. Virgil and Dee have already rejoined Roman and Patton, and Dee turns back to shout, “Don’t hurry up, Logan! We won’t leave you behind!” Logan leaves the water gun, rejoining the others as they continue.

As they pass another game, the toys suddenly start flying at them. Patton gets hit in the side of the head, startling him into stumbling. Virgil keeps him steady, looking for the reason behind the sudden projectile plushies. Roman had rushed over to protect the others, swatting the prizes away with his flashlight. Honestly, the sight was a little ridiculous, but everyone was a little too preoccupied to care. Logan stood a bit away from the group, watching the plushies sail toward his friends with careful eyes.

There were a few more incidents like this; things being thrown at the men as they passed (never anything breakable or harmful), lights and kiddie rides like the merry-go-round starting up on their own, even a stray stoller rolling into their path. Patton was getting increasingly unsettled, and Virgil was well past the point of being okay with their little adventure. He refused to let go of Dee (not that Dee really minded). After a crash somewhere in the shadows makes even Roman scream, Logan sighs and calls out, “Remy, that is quite enough. Come out now, please. You’re scaring the others.”

Patton and Roman look at Logan like he just grew a second head, and a figure slowly starts emerging from the dark. Virgil tenses. “Oh fuck no, I did not sign up for this, Patton, what the fuck-”

“Gurl, relax, it’s just me.” Remy steps out of the shadows, grinning and giving a lazy wave. There’s a moment of silence before Dee speaks up, scowling slightly. “So you’re not the one who’s been scaring us all night.” Remy’s grin grows and he nods. “Guilty as charged, babes. I heard you were coming here and I just had to mess with you. You made it so easy!” Patton pouts, and Roman makes an indignant noise. Virgil just groans, sitting on the ground and dragging a hand through his hair. “I should’ve known… Can we go home now, guys?” Logan nods. “If Remy is satisfied with having hoodwinked all of us, then yes.”

Remy laughs, flapping his hand. “Yeah, I’m good gurl. Get outta here, get some sleep.” Patton helps Virgil up and looks over at Remy. “That wasn’t very nice, kiddo!” Remy shrugs. “Maybe, but you had a lot of fun tonight, right?” The men all look at each other and nod. Remy grins. “Exactly. I’ll see you guys later.” And with that, he walks into the shadows and disappears.


	21. Only Dust and a Plaque

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Ghost Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Logan hated not knowing what happened. He wished he would just be left alone. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human AU, ghost logan, angst, idk sad logan, minor violence but no one is hurt

Logan hated not knowing. He hated not knowing the answer to a customer’s question. He hated not knowing if he had enough money in his account for an emergency, because they just seemed to be getting more and more expensive. He hated not knowing what happened to his cat. He hated not knowing who told his parents and his brother about what happened. He hated not knowing what happened to his belongings. He hated not knowing how his family and friends were doing.

He hated not knowing how he died.

He remembered his life; it wasn’t like death had brought total amnesia. He remembered growing up alongside Roman and Patton. He remembered how Patton would cry when he scraped his knee. He remembered Roman talking him into working tech during the school’s musical that Roman was in. He remembered meeting Virgil that way. He remembered sharing his first kiss with Patton, then telling Patton that he was aromantic, and how Patton had just smiled at him and said “Thank you for telling me, Lo.” He remembered graduating high school with them, then college. He remembered getting a job at the observatory. He remembered a calm night at home alone.

And then he was waking up in a completely vacated house, and he knew something had happened.

He didn’t know that he was a ghost right away  ~~he hated not knowing~~. He had thought that he’d merely fallen unconscious and woken up in the morning, but he could have sworn it was mid-summer when he could last recall, and there was currently snow outside. For another thing, his house was completely cleaned out. He had reasoned that he was unconscious far longer than he thought, but for that to be possible he must have died. He had spent nearly a month wandering his house, involuntarily phasing through objects when he tried to pick them up, or doors when he tried to open them. He didn’t know how to control it  ~~he hated not knowing~~.

He had all but given up on trying to contact someone; try as he might, he couldn’t pick up the landline that had (for some reason) been left in the barren house. He had to watch as strangers began to enter his home, looking around, praising it or picking at the flaws. He had grown angry as person after person invaded his space and complained about his paint choices, or the various cracks and scratches that held so many memories.

That scratch in the wood floor just next to the fireplace had happened when Roman had pushed his way into Logan’s house, “helping” him decorate for Christmas. That cut in the cabinet had happened when Patton had scared Virgil and he startled so badly he threw the knife he was holding (completely by accident) and it stuck in the cabinet before falling to the floor.

Logan grew angry, letting out a scream and cutting his hand through the air, sending a staged picture flying across the room. The Living went silent, staring at where the picture now lay, broken, with wide eyes. The realtor ushers the other two Living out of the house, checking over her shoulder like something is following them. Logan scoffs and watches them go, his anger abating only slightly.

He ruins the living room in a matter of minutes.

* * *

He’s been dead for approximately fifty-seven years and four months, by his estimation. The Living stopped coming about four months after his death, and Logan found himself without distraction. Occasionally, someone - usually teens - would break in at night and try to get him to interact with them. Sometimes he would ignore them out of spite, but other times they wouldn’t let up, trying everything. When it got to the point that they began to deface the house, Logan would get angry and throw things (no one had ever bothered taking all the furniture he’d broken). The Living would run out of his house laughing. Word spread quickly, more and more people coming to see the angry ghost, and Logan just wished they’d leave him alone. He was mostly alone in life, why did death have to be any different?

Finally, one night, two boys came into his home. They seemed curious, if a bit scared. Logan decided to wait it out and see if this would just be more of the same or if these Living would leave on their own. They set up their “camp” - sleeping bags and a lantern between them - and one of the Living pulled a box out of their backpack. Logan watched curiously as the Living opened it, pulling out something that looked like a strange game board and setting it on the ground. It had letters, Yes, No, and Goodbye on it, which puzzled Logan. What was it for?

The Living pulled out a small triangle with a hole in it, setting it on the board. The other Living sat next to the first one, taking a deep breath and nodding to each other before the first one spoke. “Is there a spirit here with us tonight?” He asked, looking around. Logan didn’t know why; he wasn’t visible to the Living. When nothing happened, the Living seemed to deflate, frowning. The first one wasn’t deterred, speaking again. “Spirit, if you’re here, touch the planchette and tell us.” Logan’s mouth quirked to the side. He sat down across from the Living and touched the triangle piece, dragging it to the Yes. Did he do that right? He looks up at the Living as they gasp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continued on Day 26


	22. Here Lies Poor Old Virgil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Out in a Graveyard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Moxiety
> 
> Summary: Virgil had been the one to always talk Patton into visiting the graveyard, but this year Patton has to go alone. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: major character death, really freaking sad, I’m not sorry, poor Patton, poor Virgil

Virgil always managed to talk Patton into going to the graveyard with him the night before Halloween. At first it was just to sit among the tombstones and see who got creeped out first and ran for the hills, but as they got older they realized that there was a calm, almost comforting peace with the blocks of stone. What started as a dare between children turned into an unspoken night of mourning for the stones that no longer received flowers or toys. **  
**

* * *

Patton loved Virgil. He loved the way he thought about the world. Virgil always saw the things that others would rather ignore, like little Tommy Hanover’s untouched grave covered in dirt and fall leaves, or the black cat that had a collar but was never allowed inside. He had a quiet sort of kindness, helping those the world has forgotten about and going unnoticed for the depth of his empathy. He was never bitter about it. In fact, he’d told Patton he’d prefer it if no one noticed or talked about it; he doesn’t do it to be noticed, but rather because it was the right thing to do.

Virgil was always going above and beyond to protect others, too. He’d run himself ragged trying to help the people he loved and throw himself in danger’s way to protect them. Patton always scolded him for it, because “Someday you’re going to get seriously hurt!”, but Virgil would just laugh and clap Patton’s shoulder, reassuring him that nothing bad would happen, that he could take care of himself. Then, four years, seven months, and twenty-four days after they got together, Virgil got in an accident.

There had been a little boy crossing the street with his bike. He couldn’t have been more than ten years old. The chain on his bike locked up, making him stop in the middle of the road. He refused to leave his bike, even as a car started coming down the street. The driver was honking, not willing to just stop and wait for this kid to get out of the way. Virgil and Patton watch in horror as the boy looks up, fear filling his face as he pulls on the chain. Virgil suddenly breaks away from Patton, letting go of his hand as he runs right for the boy.

Patton screams. He knows where this is going. He knows what’s about to happen. He shouts Virgil’s name. He begs him to come back. Virgil pushes the boy and his bike out of the way just as the car gets close, hitting Virgil from the side at full-speed. Patton screams, the sound full of heartbreak as he watches the man he loves fly through the air and hit the asphalt, rolling once, twice, three times before he stops, back facing Patton and unmoving. The car slams on its breaks. Patton’s knees feel weak as he runs towards Virgil, stumbling and falling to his knees beside Virgil. He turns him onto his back, and Virgil’s eyes flutter open to look at Patton.

Tears fall down Patton’s cheeks unnoticed as he takes in the sight of his boyfriend. His arms and face have deep scrapes, he’s pretty sure one of his arms and his legs are broken, and his breathing isn’t natural at all. His entire body shudders with each jagged breath, his eyes look hazy, and when his lips part Patton can see the blood coating his teeth. A sob wrenches it’s way out of Patton’s chest and he cups Virgil’s cheek, the one that isn’t hurt. Virgil tries to say something, but it’s so quiet and all Patton can see is the blood so he squeezes his eyes shut.

“N-no, baby, don’t speak, please. It’ll be o-okay, just save your energy.” He hears sirens in the distance. “They’re gonna take you to the hospital a-and fix you up, and y-you’ll be fine. W-we can go get ice cream after, a-at that place you like, o-okay?” Virgil tries to laugh, but he just coughs, spitting up blood that dribbles down his chin. He’s barely breathing; anything more hurts too much and makes him wince. Patton brushes his hair out of his face, forcing a smile. “Just a little l-longer baby, please hold on, y-you’ll be okay.” Virgil gives Patton a shaky smile. He lasts another five minutes before his eyes start to slip closed, no matter how much Patton begs him to stay awake.

He was dead before the paramedics arrived.

* * *

Patton visited the graveyard the night before Halloween, just like every year. This time, he was alone. This time, he carried more than just a flashlight with him. This time, he brushed tears from his eyes as he sat next to one tombstone in particular and leaned against it, as if it could substitute the warm chest of his love. The stone was a shiny black, with neat words inscribed into the surface reading:

**Virgil Sanders**

**Oct. 16, 1991 - Nov. 27, 2017**

**A heart full of love and kindness that few were lucky enough to see.**

Patton placed a bouquet of red carnations on the ground in front of Virgil’s grave, then a small plastic jack-o-lantern full of candy. He relaxed against the side of the tombstone, sighing deeply and feeling the same pain in his chest that’s sat there since Virgil left. He blinks away more tears.

“Hi, Virge. I-…. I miss you so much, baby.” Tears start spilling down his face and he tries in vain to wipe them away. “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, I’m sorry. I just miss you so, so much. Nothing’s the same without you here. I’m still not used to waking up alone. I keep having nightmares about you getting hit by that damn car. I- why did you have to save that boy? It- it sounds horrible, but… If you hadn’t saved him, you’d be here right now. I wouldn’t be alone. You just had to be the protector, and I  _hate_ it. How  _dare_ you leave me here. How dare you leave me alone.” He clenches his hands into fists, staring at his lap as more tears fell. “I-I’m so lonely, Virge. I wish you were still h-here. I love you baby, a-always have, always w-will.” He wiped his face, standing up and heading back to his car.

* * *

Virgil sat in front of his tombstone, turning to watch Patton leave, his shoulders shaking with sobs. Twin tears made their way down his own face, though they didn’t ruin the eyeshadow he’d always had on. How could they? He was dead.

“I’m so sorry, Pat.”


	23. You'd Better Pay Attention Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Heard a Scary Noise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Virgil’s up late and gets scared by something unexpected. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human AU, Virgil gets spooked, it’s dumb

It was 3 AM, and Virgil was sitting at the dining room table on his laptop. He had earbuds in, listening to music and scrolling through Tumblr in relative silence. The only light on was the one above him, the glow dim, just enough to take the strain off his eyes as he stared at the laptop’s screen. The others had gone to bed hours ago. Even Patton, who usually stayed up late watching TV, had gone to bed at a decent hour tonight, leaving Virgil the only person awake. He didn’t mind so much; the music from his earbuds drowned out the silence of the apartment.

His eyes were starting to get that vague burning, heavy feeling when one got tired, but Virgil knew if he went to bed now, best case scenario was he’d sleep in really late and mess up his sleep schedule further. He resigned himself to pulling an all-nighter so that he could go to bed at a normal time tomorrow, sighing and resting his chin in his hand.

It was in the lull between two songs when he heard it. The sound was quiet, muffled by the fact that there were earbuds in Virgil’s ears, but it definitely sounded like someone was talking. He looks up around the room, but no one is there. Maybe he was just hearing things? He went back to his computer, shrugging it off.

But then he heard it again.

It was so quiet, he barely heard it, but he knew he couldn’t be making it up. He didn’t know what the voice was saying, but it was high-pitched, and something about the cadence was creeping him out. He tried to turn his music up, but that just made it worse; just barely catching a couple sounds was a lot more off-putting than hearing the whole thing. It would pop up when he least expected it, with no pattern or reason, which just served to put Virgil more on edge.

He paused his music and took off his headphones, figuring if he could fully hear it then it might be less anxiety-inducing.

“You’re gonna die~!”

Oh  _fuck_ no.

The voice came from across the room. It sounded like some kind of child, but more… fake. Like a doll’s voice. Virgil shivered, his heart beating faster as he looked around.  _Please don’t let there be a possessed doll in the apartment please don’t let there be a possessed doll in the apartment please don’t let there be a-_

The light suddenly turned on and Virgil screamed.

Roman stared at Virgil wide-eyed from across the room, hand still poised at the light switch, now holding his phone. Virgil is shaking, staring at Roman like he’s Chucky himself. Roman silences his phone and pockets it slowly, moving to crouch next to Virgil. “Virgil, I need you to breathe, okay?” Virgil huffs. He’s not panicking - he just got scared - but he does it anyway, following Roman’s count until he’s calm. Roman smiles apologetically.

“I’m sorry, Virgil. I changed my ringtone for October, I didn’t think it’d actually scare anyone.”

Virgil shrugs, flushing slightly with embarrassment. A  _ringtone_. “It- it’s fine, Roman. Really. Why are you up, anyways?”

Roman shrugs. “I woke up and was going to grab some water when I remembered I left my phone out here. Let me guess, you couldn’t sleep?” Virgil nods; this was pretty normal for him. Roman stands, holding a hand out for Virgil. “Come on, you. Bed.” Virgil sighs, taking Roman’s hand and standing. He knew the other wouldn’t give in until he went to bed, so there was no point in fighting it. When they passed Virgil’s room, he raised an eyebrow and stopped walking.

“Wait, we passed my room.” Roman shrugs, not looking at Virgil. “We’re going to mine.”

Virgil flushes, looking at the back of Roman’s head. “O-oh… Why?”

Roman finally turns to face Virgil with a smile when they reach his door. “I have to comfort the fair damsel!”


	24. When You Call "Who's There?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Walking Home Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: romantic or platonic Prinxiety mention
> 
> Summary: Roman gets out of rehearsal pretty late one night, and has to walk home alone. He lets himself get a little too paranoid. Or does he?
> 
> Tags/Warnings: hella suspense yo, roman’s an actor, virgil is mentioned, very spooky walks home

****Roman left the theater, waving goodbye to his fellow actors before turning and heading down the sidewalk. It was late; the sky was black, the lamplights were on, foot traffic was scarce and the occasional set of headlights broke through the dark to momentarily blind Roman. He hums under his breath as he walks, glancing around at the surrounding buildings. Practice had run much later than any of them had anticipated, but they all knew they needed it so there were no complaints. Roman checks his phone. 11:24 PM.

Virgil would be home by now, probably. Roman wondered if he fell asleep without him, and he felt bad. He knew Virgil got pretty bad nightmares when he slept by himself, but he didn’t want the other staying awake all night just to avoid them, so this was sort of a lose-lose situation. He’d just have to hurry home as fast as possible. Roman nods to himself, quickening his pace.

He starts to get to the more suburban area when he gets the feeling he’s being followed. He glances behind him. There’s a young woman in sweatpants walking casually several feet behind him, and even further back is a man in a sweatshirt, hood up and head down, hands stuffed in the pockets. Roman pushes the feeling away and keeps walking, turning left. He makes it halfway down the block before the feeling returns, and he looks over his shoulder. The woman is gone, but the guy in the sweatshirt is still there. It doesn’t mean anything, he tells himself, it’s just a coincidence, they were probably going to part ways soon. Despite his own reassurances, he takes another left, heading away from the home he shares with Virgil. He picks up the pace, practically jogging by this point, hearing his heartbeat in his ears. He keeps trying to tell himself that he’s just imagining things and needs to relax, but he swears he can still hear the man walking behind him.

He takes a third left, and the footsteps don’t stop.

All protests have left his mind, and he breaks out into a run. He can hear the man start to run after him. Panic seizes his chest, making his breath stutter. He just needs to get home. It was so stupid to walk around in a circle like that, he should’ve just gone straight home, now he was going to die before he got to see Virgil one last time-

The man catches up to him, grabbing his shoulder. Roman screams and swings at the stranger blindly. His fist is caught, and he thinks this is it, this is how I die, but then the stranger is laughing, and. Wait a minute. Roman knows that laugh.

“Patton! Merlin’s beard, don’t scare me like that!” Patton pulls down the hood, still laughing, and covers his mouth. While Roman catches his breath, Patton calms down, wiping at his eyes.

“I- I’m sorry, Ro, I just-! I just had to!” He giggles. Roman huffs, hitting Patton’s shoulder. “Then you can explain to Virgil why I was late getting home, since you don’t seem to be doing anything else right now.” Patton nodded, walking with Roman back toward his house. “Of course, of course. Hey! We should totally have a sleepover!”


	25. It's Been Dead for Much Too Long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> apparently I didn't write down the prompt but I'm p sure it was Spooky Stories or smthn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Not all ghost stories are told by the living. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human AU, graphic depictions of blood/gore/violence, seriously if you’re at all squeamish you probably shouldn’t read, ghost!Roman, ghost!Deceit, death, suicide mention, animal mutilation, murder

****

Roman had moved into a new house with his parents about eight weeks ago. It was a pretty old house, but it was also pretty flippin’ sweet. It was one of those large, old, two-story houses with the staircase you had to pull down to get to the attic, and it had a lot of rooms to check out. It was on a large plot of forested land, so Roman was wont for things to do (like exploring). All in all, he loved it. But then something happened.

He started getting gifts on his windowsill.

He always made sure his window was locked when he went to bed, and there was never any sign that it could have been opened (“Are you leaving weird things in my room?” “What? Why would I do that?” “…Nevermind.”), yet every morning without fail, for the past six weeks, he’d wake up to a new…. ‘Present’ on his windowsill waiting for him. Sometimes it was strings of teeth. Roman didn’t want to know how the creator had managed to string teeth, or where they got them (some were obviously human, which made Roman shiver), but they were in good condition considering how old they looked.

Sometimes it was objects, like ornaments, figurines, and other small things. These were made from bone too. At first, he hadn’t known as much, but one day his brother Logan had been walking by his open doorway and commented on Roman’s ‘fascinating bone comb’ that had appeared that morning.

Roman had learned fairly quickly how to tell what was made of bone.

Sometimes the things were colorful, and Roman suspected that maybe they were dyed, though he had no idea how it was done. One morning, he wakes up to find an incredibly detailed, elegant dagger, completely made of bone. It has a sheath, which was also made of bone. Roman admired the craftsmanship that went into the object, studying the design of the hilt. After a moment, looking at the dagger made him feel…. Unsettled. He couldn’t explain it, but he had an ominous feeling about the strange, sudden appearance of the weapon. Honestly, he should have felt that way about everything that’s been showing up, but it isn’t until he’s staring down the dagger that he feels something sinister’s happening.

He gathers everything that’s appeared on his windowsill the past six weeks, putting it all in a box and carrying it out of the house. He walks all the way down their quarter-mile-long driveway where their trash bin was waiting for pick-up and tossed the box in, turning around and heading back inside.

For the rest of the day, he’d felt like he was being watched. The hairs on the back of his neck would randomly stand on end, and he could practically feel eyes boring into his soul. No matter where he looked though, he was the only one in his room. He tried to shrug off the feeling, but it persisted throughout the day.

He’d fallen into a restless sleep, the feelings from the day making it into his dreams. He’d dreamed of killing animals, the blood and pained whimpers vivid in his mind. He’d never hurt an animal in his entire life, and yet he was dreaming of killing them and taking their bones. He woke up, feeling like he was going to be sick. He barely made it to the trash bin by his desk before emptying his stomach.

This continued for three more weeks. Every day, his brother and parents watched as he seemed to become more skittish, more reserved, more anxious and irritable. Every night, horrible, disgustingly vivid dreams plagued Roman’s sleep. He could smell the copper, feel the blood making his fingers slippery as he held the various rats, rabbits, foxes and whatever else down, stabbing them with the dagger he’d thrown out until the life left their eyes. He’d cut them open, remove their bones, leaving the meat and skins behind. He’d take the bloodied bones home (the house was the same, but the decorations and furniture were different, older) and clean them meticulously. He watched his hands cut and string and carve and dye, making the gifts that had appeared on Roman’s windowsill over the last two months.

He saw himself drown and kill one of the neighboring boys, the boy screaming as bubbles erupted from his mouth. He saw the light leave the boy’s eyes as he stilled. He watched as he took the bone dagger and cut the boy open, blood mixing with water as he carved the boy’s bones out of his flesh. He watched his hands work deftly, cleaning the bones and using his femur to make a comb.

Roman woke with a start, his chest heaving. He couldn’t get any breath in. His vision was swimming. He felt like he was being pinned down. What was happening??  
His eyes finally focus, widening at the sight of the young man on top of him, pinning him down. He opened his mouth to scream, but no sound came out. What the hell? He tries again, but his vocal folds don’t seem to be working. The teen above him scowls, his face distorted by scar tissue that covers the left half of his face, the eye milky white. He raises his hand above his head, gripping the dagger Roman had thrown out all those weeks ago, and Roman finally realizes that the other isn’t actually pinning him down, Roman is paralysed.

He tries in vain to scream as the dagger is brought down, piercing his chest again and again. The pain is blinding, and he can feel his blood soaking into the sheets. It gets harder to breathe, his vision is becoming blurry, and there are tears streaming down his face. He doesn’t know if it’s because he’s losing so much blood or if it’s because his vision is failing, but he swears he sees the teen above him vanish into thin air before everything goes black.

* * *

“And that’s how I died.” Roman looks up at the two teens across from him, hands in his lap. One of them, a young man named Patton, is openly crying, shoulders shaking with barely-repressed sobs. Virgil, his boyfriend, holds his hand tightly, his face blank.

“What happened to your family? And that guy?”

Roman shrugs. The three of them were sitting in his old room, furniture long-since gone. “He was already dead, and I haven’t seen him since I died. As for my family…” He frowns deeply, shoulder sagging. “My death tore them up inside. I don’t know what they’re doing now, or if they’re even alive, but… When they moved out, it was because my brother tried to kill himself. They needed a change of scenery.”

Patton dries his eyes, looking up at Roman sadly. “So why are you here? What are you waiting for?”

Roman looks down at his hands.

“I don’t know.”


	26. Somewhere Deep Inside of These Bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Ghost Hunting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****SEQUEL TO DAY 21****
> 
> Summary: Remy had heard all the stories growing up, so naturally he wants to see what the truth is when he still believes in the ghost that lives in that rundown house downtown. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Human AU, angst, poor Logan, things are all coming together, Remy and Declyn are dorks, ouija board usage, i do not condone such acts of foolishness

Remy had grown up in the same small town all his life, so it wasn’t surprising that he had heard the stories about his town’s local haunting. The ghost that lived in the old, rundown house in downtown that threw furniture and shrieked at intruders. No one had ever actually seen it, but plenty of people had witnessed its fits of rage. His grandpa always got really sad when someone brought up the ghost, for some reason. He didn’t understand it, but he didn’t like his sweet grandpa being sad, so he never asked. **  
**

Apparently, the ghost appeared when Remy’s grandpa was a young man, in his mid-20’s. Someone (the ghost, obviously) had been murdered there in the middle of the night, and the city had barely hesitated before seizing the property and selling it, since the person hadn’t written a will. The house had been cleared and set for sale, and about a month after the house had been put on the market, a couple had been touring the place when a picture had flown off the wall. Since that day, the paranormal activity only increased, getting more violent and hectic as time went on. The house had eventually been taken off the market and condemned as a health hazard, and people began to break into the abandoned house to provoke the ghost.

Adults always warned the new generation not to mess with the ghost, to never go near the house lest they risk being injured, but of course every year teens would break in on a dare, or just because they were bored/drunk/high, and the next morning, new stories and rumors would be spreading. Remy was completely fascinated by it, but most people his age didn’t believe the stories, thinking Remy was weird for believing an old urban legend. The house was falling apart. Those teens were all too intoxicated to see the house was responsible for objects falling over, or doors slamming, or random temperature drops.

Perhaps the only person his age who believed him and was just as interested was a boy named Declyn. Remy and Declyn have been friends most of their lives, bonding over the ghost legend both of their grandpas seemed to know a little too much about. They formed a paranormal enthusiasts club in middle school (which they were the only members of) where they spent lunches and after school hours talking about the ghost and forming their own theories. (“What if it’s looking for it’s killer, but it can’t remember what they look like?” “What if it’s slowly turning feral, going insane?” “What if it’s just lonely?” “….You’re such a sap.” “Says the one tearing up.” “Shut up!” “Make me.”)

Their enthusiasm carried all the way into high school, with seniors whispering rumors about a senior prank on the old abandoned house downtown. Remy and Declyn by that point had gone from paranormal enthusiasts to ghost sympathizers (thanks, Declyn), and hadn’t hesitated to tell the principal about the planned prank. None of the seniors knew who turned them in, but lunchtime pranks on the underclassmen went up in the last few months.

When Remy and Declyn were sophomores, they planned a visit to the house. Despite their enthusiasm and steadfast support and defense of the ghost, they had never actually gotten up the nerve to visit it. So, they started planning. They spent weeks talking about the perfect time to go (“Halloween is when paranormal activity is the strongest.” “But it’s a school night, and finals are coming up. I can’t afford to sleep through class like you, Remy.” “Fine, then, when do you think?” “I don’t know! The equinox?” “That already passed, genius.” “….Fine, but you’re buying my coffee.” “You got it.”) and what they should bring (“I’m not buying a ouija board! Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?” “Well do you have a better way to do it? All that tech shit costs way more.” “…Watch your language.”) before the night had finally arrived.

It was Halloween, so neither of them had to worry about sneaking out; they told their parents they were going to be out late trick-or-treating, and that was that. Remy filled his backpack with supplies (the ouija board he’d bought without Declyn, one of those big camping flashlights that looks like a lantern, food, stuff to do in case the ghost never showed up) and Declyn brought the sleeping bags, blankets, and pillows. They’d taken the bus downtown, then followed printed-out Google Maps directions until they stood in front of the old house.

It wasn’t quite as run-down as everyone made it sound. It definitely needed some yard work done; there were weeds swallowing up the walkway and crawling up the sides of the house, all the bushes, grass, and flowers were dead, it had a broken window, and the pale yellow paint seemed faded. Other than that, it didn’t look much different from their grandpas’ houses. They walk up the walkway, overgrown dry weeds clinging to their pant legs, and hesitantly try the door. It’s unlocked. In fact, it seems like the doorknob was broken long ago, practically sitting on the door ready to fall off at the slightest pull. The door swings open when Remy pushes it, creaking ominously.

The inside is in a far worse state. The carpets are torn and dirtied, flat and dark with age. The wood flooring looks like it was left to soak in water, then burned; dark, warped, stripped of its nice finish and left gnarled and rough. Water damage is evident in the stains coming from the ceiling and down the walls, and an unseen hole lets light in from the streetlamp outside. Broken furniture litters every room, the mess worse in the living room. A large spot has been cleared near the fireplace, a strange upkept space that felt like it’s own dimension in an otherwise decaying house. Remy and Declyn walk through the house silently, glancing around warily at the decrepit walls. They explore each room (checking for hobos) before coming back to the living room and setting up camp.

Declyn lays out their sleeping bags, placing the lamp light between them while Remy takes out the ouija board and sets it up. Declyn shoots Remy an uncertain glare, making his disagreement clear even as he sits next to him. They shared a glance before taking deep breaths and touching the planchette. Remy spoke up, looking around the room with a shiver. When did it get so cold? “Is there a spirit here with us tonight?” They waited a moment, but nothing happened. Declyn deflated, opening his mouth to ask Remy if he wanted to play Go Fish instead, but Remy wasn’t done. “Spirit, if you’re here, touch the planchette and tell us.”

After another tense moment, both boys feel something pulling the planchette. They watch with wide eyes and baited breath as it slowly moves until the small magnifying glass lands on one word.  **Yes**. Both boys gasp, looking at each other.

“Did you move it?” Remy asks, tentative hope in his voice. Declyn shakes his head.

“No, did you?”

“Why would I ask if I did it?”

“I dunno dude. Shut up.”

Remy huffs and turns back to the board. “Spirit, what is your name?”

Neither of them breathed as the planchette moved, spelling out  **L-O-G-A-N**. Remy smiles. “Logan? Cool name. I’m Remy, and this square here is Declyn.” Remy nudges Declyn with his shoulder, who shoots him an annoyed look. “There’s nothing ‘square’ about being afraid of pagan voodoo stuff, Rem. These boards are bad.”

Remy rolls his eyes. “If they were so bad, they wouldn’t be selling them at Walmart, Deccy.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Oh c'mon, you-”

The planchette moving again shuts him up.

 **R-U-D-E**.

Remy huffs lightly. “I’m not rude! I was just poking fun at him, it’s what best friends do.” Declyn rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I do the same to him.”

**A-G-E-?**

“I’m 16. Remy won’t be 16 until May.”

“Which is so dumb, I should be the older one.”

“Yeah right, you couldn’t handle the power.”

“You’re so full of shit.”

“Language!”

**P-A-T-T-O-N-?**

Declyn raises an eyebrow. “Uh…. My grandpa’s name is Patton… Remy, I don’t like this. Let’s say goodbye and go home.”

**P-A-T-T-O-N-O-K-?**

“Dec, I think the gho- Logan knew your grandpa.”

“what? No way.” He shakes his head. “Yeah, grandpa’s fine. He makes too many dumb jokes and bakes cookies a lot.”

 **S-A-D**.

Declyn frowns, his eyebrows furrowing. “See? He doesn’t know anything; my grandpa’s the happiest person I know.”

 **S-A-D**.

Remy interjects before Declyn can insult the ghost any more. “My grandpa’s name is Roman. Do you know him?”

 **YES**.

Remy grins widely. “That’s so cool! I knew there was something. Haven’t you ever wondered why they get so sad when we talk about the ghost? Logan.” He corrects himself with an apologetic smile at the space across from them. Declyn raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “Great, you solved the mystery. How does that change anything? He’s still dead.”

Remy goes to argue against him, but a loud, strangled sob makes both boys flinch, going stock still.

Sitting directly across from them in the space that had been vacant only a moment before sat a man in his mid-20’s in a dark button-up shirt, tan slacks, thick black-framed glasses, and a blue tie. His skin was ashen, his dark hair messy but had obviously been styled back beforehand. His blue eyes held absolute, heartbreaking sorrow and he had a hand clamped over his mouth, tears pouring down his cheeks.

“Oh-”

“Shit.”

* * *

Logan sobbed, shoulders shaking. They were still alive. They remembered him. They missed him. Patton always baked a lot when he was stressed or sad. Poor Patton, he had to have been heartbroken when he found out what happened to Logan. All these years, wondering what happened to his friends, and they hadn’t even left town.

* * *

“…Logan?” Declyn frowned, watching the disheveled man before him fall apart. Logan looked at him, and Declyn felt the sorrow in his eyes squeeze his lungs. “You-… How did you die? Why are you still here?”

“We want to help you pass on.” Remy clarified, obviously distraught watching the man.

* * *

Logan looked at the teens sitting in front of him. He could see Patton in Declyn’s concerned eyes, the pinch between his eyebrows. He saw Roman in the frown pulling at Remy’s face. “I-I don’t know.” He breathed through shuddered sobs. “I-I can’t remember…”


	27. With Lives on the Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Spooky Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: LAMP/CALM
> 
> Summary: Roman brings his boyfriends to the imagination, and things go horribly wrong. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: violence, but i mean like, fist fights, uhm, idk what else

It started out like any other day in the mindscape. Virgil was on the couch, headphones on and listening to music while Patton watched TV. Roman was off questing, probably, and Logan was in the kitchen making a sandwich. It was one of those pleasantly domestic days that kind of just bleeds into the background of your thoughts and passes without incidence. Logan came to sit on the couch with them and Patton put on Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. They weren’t even twenty minutes into it when Roman came racing into the room out of breath.

“My loves, here you are! You simply must come to the imagination with me! I have prepared the perfect date!”

Patton perks up. “Ooh, really?”

“Yes! Now come, we must run off into the sunset!”

Logan smirks. “Laying it on a bit thick, aren’t we?”

Roman humphs. “I’m trying to build up the excitement. You’re all just sitting here!”

Virgil rolls his eyes, standing up. “Okay guys, let’s go before he explodes.” Patton giggles and Logan smirks, the three of them following Roman to his realm. Roman opens the door to the imagination with a flourish, revealing an expansive field of soft grass and flowers of every color. The sky is a clear blue, with sparse, fluffy clouds moving slowly overhead. Patton runs right in, laughing and spinning around before plopping down on the grass. Logan and Virgil follow at a much more relaxed pace, sitting alongside Patton. Roman conjures a picnic with a wave of his hand, sitting with his boyfriends. “I simply  _must_ tell you all about the day I just had at the neighboring kingdom.”

He told the other sides of how he had given the imagination the freedom to form a quest on its own, to give him a little more spontaneity. He’d headed over to the neighboring kingdom, where a group of bandits was attacking the local villagers. He’d single-handedly chased them off, and the villagers held a feast and a parade in his honor. He heartily acts out the battle, the feasting, the celebrations. Patton laughs and sings along occasionally, when it calls for it, but Logan and Virgil just watch in amused silence.

“-and they said they’d be back for revenge, but I can handle them easily, any time, any day!”

“Then how about right now, Prince Roman?”

It seemed almost as if the bandits materialized out of nowhere, rising up from the ground much like the sides would in the real world. All at once, the environment shifted. Wind blew, causing the field to ripple like soft green waves and casting Virgil’s hair in his face. The temperature dropped from a warm spring day to a cool winter afternoon, and clouds began to darken the sky.

Virgil pushed his hair out of his face just as the first blow comes. The bandit goes for Patton, and Roman protects him with his sword. There’s easily twelve burly men surrounding them, and Virgil can’t fathom how Princey took them all on just earlier today. He holds out amazingly well, for a little while. The fight almost seems choreographed, and for a moment Virgil wonders if it is, until one of the bandits grabs Patton. Roman turns when Patton cries out in shock, and the bandit he was fighting punches Roman across the jaw, making him stumble back.

Virgil watches, frozen, as another bandit grabs Logan and Roman struggles to fight the four in front of him. Three more come for Virgil himself, and Virgil takes a few steps back in fear until his back hits something solid. A bandit grabs him from behind and he struggles to rip free of his grasp, but the man is too strong. Patton and Logan are knocked unconscious, and Roman is restrained by three men, kicking and thrashing.

The wind whips Virgil’s hair back and forth, rising in intensity as the sky darkens. Thunder booms in the distance. One of the bandits picks up Roman’s fallen sword and Virgil’s eyes widen.

“Roman!”

The bandit doesn’t go after Roman, though. He turns to Virgil, stalking over with a malevolent grin. He stops right in front of Virgil and turns to face Roman. “We told you you would pay for messing with us, Prince Roman. This is your punishment.” Roman and Virgil share terrified looks as the bandit raises the sword. Roman screams as the sword starts to come down, and Virgil is squeezing his eyes shut because he doesn’t want the last thing he sees to be Roman’s terrified face, and then-

 

He jolts awake with a gasp, sitting up in bed. He’s shaking, his heartbeat erratic, and he’s tangled in his bankets. His first thought when he realizes he isn’t dead is  _Where are the others, are they okay?_

He stumbles out of bed, across the hall, and down the stairs into the commons, where Patton sits watching a movie and Logan and Roman quietly debate the finer points of the mythology surrounding King Arthur. Virgil breathes a shaky sigh. They’re safe. He makes his way over to the couch, curling up next to Patton, and before the fatherly side can get a word out Virgil’s hugging him tightly. Patton frowns.

“Virge? What’s wrong?”

Virgil just shakes his head. Roman and Logan look over with concern and move to sit with Virgil and Patton as well, and it’s a long moment of silence before Virgil speaks up, finally telling them about his dream. When he does, Patton looks about ready to cry, Logan is frowning, and Roman… Virgil can’t place the expression on Roman’s face.

Roman takes Virgil’s hand and squeezes it. “I assure you, Virgil, I would never bring any of you into the imagination unless I knew it was completely safe. And even if we were to fall under a surprise attack, I can dissolve the scene at any time. Everyone is safe.”

Virgil relaxes.

_Everyone is safe._


	28. Can't Shake This Feeling That I Have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Playing Scary Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: platonic Moxiety
> 
> Summary: Patton wants to play Outlast with Virgil. How could he say no?
> 
> Tags/Warnings: it’s a horror/suspense game so, creepy, suspenseful, anxiety attack, some swearing, Human AU (I keep forgetting to add that one to my fics whoops)

Virgil looked at Patton hesitantly. “You want to play  _what_?”

Patton grins. “Outlast! It looked really neat, and I think you’d like it.”

Virgil reads the game description. Some guy named Miles Upshur goes to an asylum to investigate rumors of doctors experimenting on the patients…. Okay…. He turns to raise an eyebrow at his friend. “Doesn’t this seem like something Logan would be more into?” Patton just smiles and shrugs. Virgil sighs. “Fine, alright, let’s play.” Patton lets out a victorious “whoop!” and sits next to Virgil, putting the game in.

As they play, Virgil gets interested in the story. It actually isn’t that bad. Miles Upshur gets trapped in the asylum, and Virgil feels a sense of impending dread. It’s okay, maybe the game won’t get super scary, it was fine.

When the first patient started chasing them, Virgil could have screamed.

His entire body was tense as  Upshur runs through the asylum, trying to lose the patient. His brain is screaming at him to  _run, get out of there_ , but he’s in Patton’s living room _there’s nothing to run from_. They get away and Virgil relaxes, but only minimally. Patton hasn’t seemed to notice how on edge he is, continuing on with the game. They gather more information, and Virgil is starting to think it won’t get any worse when a doctor jumps out in front of them. Every cell in his body is screaming, and Virgil would be too if he hadn’t bitten his tongue trying to keep his mouth shut.

They’re running, the doctor is swinging a giant pair of scissors around, and Virgil’s heart is going to beat out of his chest. Patton leads them around corners, down hallways, through doors, and each second that doctor is on their tail is another second that Virgil deeply regrets agreeing to this. Patton turns a corner. The doctor is still on their tail. Virgil’s on the edge of his chair.

A patient blocks their way.

They turn around.

Virgil screams.

And the doctor kills them.

GAME OVER flashes on the screen, but Virgil doesn’t care about that. His breathing is erratic and he’s pulling at his hair, mentally and psychologically frozen in that moment-before-death terror. Patton is looking at him with an expression that’s a mix of concern and guilt; eyebrows pulled together, lips parted slightly in a frown, eyes a little wide. He reaches out to touch Virgil, but Virgil recoils, screaming again. Patton immediately pulls his hand back, holding both of his hands up in plain view.

“Virge… Hey, buddy, do you think you can try to take some deep breaths? I’m gonna lead you through your breathing exercise, okay? One, two, three, four. One, two, three- That’s okay, you’re okay, let’s try again. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four, five- You’re doing great Virgil, just focus on me, okay? Focus on breathing. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. One, two, three, four- You’re doing fantastic. Let’s try one more time, okay? One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. That was perfect, kiddo, let’s do that one more time.”

He leads Virgil through the count three more times before Virgil’s calm. Patton smiles at him calmly and takes his hands, squeezing them gently. “I’m sorry, Virge. I should’ve listened to you. We don’t have to play the game if you don’t want to.”

Virgil looks between Patton and the screen, which is still flashing GAME OVER. He shakes his head. “No, let’s play it again. Now that I know what to expect… I’ll be fine.” Patton looks at him doubtfully. “Are you sure? It’s okay if you don’t want to…”

Virgil nods. “Yeah, I’m sure. Restart it.”


	29. Something's up With Virgil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Dragon Witch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: hints of Prinxiety (especially at the end)
> 
> Summary: Remy throws amazing Halloween parties, with a crazy money prize for his costume contest. Virgil wants that money. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: Dragon Witch costume, Virgil’s unfairly hot, based on @em-be-lievable‘s Dragon Witch AU, Human AU, College AU

Every year, Remy threw the biggest, baddest Halloween party of the year. What had started as a simple friends-only party in high school had, by freshman year of college, turned into a everyone-who’s-anyone party. His house would always be packed full of friends and strangers alike, music playing loudly from the surround sound his dad had installed during sophomore year. There would always be Halloween-themed food and drinks, and Remy never let someone leave drunk unless he knew they had a ride. Virgil never knew how he kept track of the large number of people, but he’d never heard of anyone being harassed or driving home drunk in all the years he’s known the Starbucks-loving theater major. **  
**

One of the things that drew so many people to Remy’s parties was the costume contest. Sure, a lot of parties had them, but Remy, as a theater major with experience in special effects makeup, only let really exceptional people enter. And the prize was $500. That was a _lot_  for a college student living off ramen around midterms. So every year, even if they weren’t entering the contest, crowds came in droves to see the kind of people said contest attracted.

And that was what was currently plaguing Virgil at the moment. His costume, that is. He was determined to win the contest, but he had no idea what he was going to go as. It was only late August though, he had a little time, right? Right.

He spent every free moment trying to brainstorm, He didn’t want to do something that’s been overdone, but he also couldn’t stress himself out trying to do something that was rarely seen because of how complex the costume is. Patton tried to reassure him that he didn’t have to do something amazing to be able to enjoy himself, but it wasn’t about that. He really wanted that prize money, okay? Logan knew next to nothing about costuming, so he was absolutely no help, and Roman wouldn’t help him because he was entering too. It was every man for himself this year.

The idea came to him mid-October while he was studying for his midterms. By that point, he’d been so stressed that he’d all but given up on dressing up in any capacity, and if anyone asked he’d say he was too busy with school to plan a costume. As it were, he was in the middle of studying for chemistry when he remembered something Roman had muttered in a half-asleep daze just the other week.

_“I have to dispose of the Dragon Witch body.”_

He had no idea why he thought of it then, or why he hadn’t thought of it sooner. But the longer he thought on it the better it seemed. He glanced down at his notes. He was fine, right? He wouldn’t fail, and that’s all that really mattered with Gen Ed classes.  He rushed off to his room to see what he already had and what he needed to buy.

For the next week, Virgil only ever comes out of his room to use the bathroom, grab granola bar refills for his stash, and go to the craft store (and class, of course - as much as he hates it, he can’t miss class this close to midterms). Patton grew increasingly more concerned with each day that passed, but Roman assured Patton that Virgil didn’t look like he was in any danger. Sleep deprived, maybe, but not starving or anything. It wasn’t much of a comfort for their fatherly friend, though. He would spend hours sitting outside Virgil’s door trying to talk him into taking a break and coming out for a movie or dinner or something, anything, but Virgil always shut him down.

Virgil had refused to tell anyone what he was working on, and their only hints were glimpses of the supplies he ran out and bought on occasion. Everyone knew when he’d finally finished. Two nights before the party, Virgil suddenly let out a loud, joyous cry. Roman and Patton, who’d been on the couch watching a movie, jumped at the sound and got up to check on Virgil. He beat them to it though, opening his door and stumbling exhausted into the living room, collapsing on the couch with a weak laugh. He was asleep in minutes.

Virgil slept through the rest of the next day, but thankfully he didn’t have classes. He hadn’t woken up until the sun had started to set and found all three of his friends eating McDonald’s and playing Scrabble. His small amused laugh drew their attention to him, and Patton was on him in seconds, asking if he felt alright, if he was hungry, asking if he wanted to shower. And yeah, he guessed he did smell pretty bad.

* * *

Everyone had been ready to go for at least twenty minutes now, and Virgil had yet to come out of the bathroom. Logan was tapping his foot impatiently, his pirate boot (Roman had convinced him somehow to dress as pirates, this year) thumping intrusively on the floor. Patton worried his hands, glancing between Logan and the bathroom door. Twenty five minutes, now.

“Kiddo? Do you need help? Are you almost ready?”

Virgil’s hesitant voice came through the wood; “Uh… You guys can go, I’ll meet you there, okay?”

“Are you sure, Virge? We don’t mind waiting.” Patton ignores the glare from Logan.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I wanna surprise you guys anyways.”

Patton glances at the other two before he responds. “Well… Alright kiddo, but don’t take too long, okay? You’ll miss all the fun!”

Virgil let out a sigh as he heard the front door close.

He glanced at himself in the mirror. He wasn’t too confident in his abilities with special effects makeup, but he’d kept to simple changes and it hadn’t turned out too bad. He’d made himself some horns, a soft grey, ridged, and just slightly curved, which were attached to his head, pointing straight up. He also got some elf ears, because why the hell not, and he had to say it fit pretty nicely. He’d taken an old black vest he never wore and added a large, fluffy collar to it, as well as two relatively small black-and-purple dragon’s wings. He wore black skinny jeans tucked into his purple boots, and had glued a small fake ram’s skull onto his belt. He accented the whole thing with purple fingerless gloves (which were a  _bitch_ to find) and sharp pointed purple nails. He also had a black dragon’s tail attached to his lower back and jeans, which felt… really weird, but whatever, it’d be fine. It stayed curved upright by a small bit of fishing line attached to the small buckle on the back of his vest. He’d used liquid latex to make his joints stand out a little more sharply and to add a more dragon-esque contour to his face. It was all tied together with purple contacts.

He looked kinda hot, actually.

He smirks at himself - fangs, fuck yeah - and heads out of the apartment.

* * *

The party was in full swing by the time he got there. Music could be heard every time someone opened the front door and the house was crowded and people spilled out into the front and back lawns, some of them already drunk. As Virgil got closer, people started to notice. And Virgil noticed them notice. He could see them turning to look at him out of the corner of his eye, and he could feel their stares following him as he headed towards the house.

He’s almost to the front door when he starts considering going home and changing. This was a bad idea, he looked so stupid, everyone was going to hate it and he’d never live it down- he was already at the front door though, and someone was opening it.

Patton stood on the other end, talking to someone over his shoulder. When he turned to face forward, Virgil’s heart slowly sank along with Patton’s smile. He knew this was a bad idea. Patton’s eyes get wide and his lips part, but he’s just staring. Virgil’s hand comes up to scratch at the back of his head awkwardly. “Uh… Hey, Pat…” Patton blinks, and the smile is back in full force. “Hey, kiddo! You look so  _cool_!” Virgil smiles sheepishly. “Thanks.”

Patton squeals, making Virgil jump. “ _And you have fangs???_ ” Patton takes Virgil’s hand and drags him inside, closing the door and dragging him over to Roman, Logan, and Remy. “Guys, guys! Look at Virgil! He’s so cool!” They look over at Virgil and Patton as they get closer. Logan looks mildly surprised. Remy lowers his shades and whistles. Roman openly oggles Virgil, his face just screaming  _oh no, he’s hot._  Virgil flushes.

“Like what you see, Princey?” Roman looks up at Virgil at that. His hand reaches for the fake sword on his belt and he smirks with a slight blush. “You wish, Dragon Witch.”

Yeah, he was glad he’d dressed up this year.


	30. What Have I Done?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: The Crofter's is G O N E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Roman ate the last of the Crofter’s. He could only imagine how furious Logan would be.
> 
> Tags/Warnings: intimidation, servitude, Roman wtf, belittling, slight swearing, Human AU

Logan stood in the middle of the kitchen, the light above glinting menacingly off of his glasses. He held the empty jar in his hand with a look that could level skyscrapers directed right at Roman, who stood in the living room. Roman swallowed, nervously laughing. Bad move; Logan’s glare intensifies. Roman had to try some damage control. “L-Lo, buddy, you know I would never-”

“Save it, Roman. I know it was you.”

Roman withers. He was so dead. Logan sets the empty jar on the counter a little too loudly, the sound making Roman flinch. He stalks towards Roman with his fists clenched at his sides. For each step Logan takes towards him, Roman takes one back, a hand on his sword hilt at his side. He’d never draw his sword on one of the others, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t feel threatened. Roman’s back met the wall, and he felt every atom in his being scream at him to run as Logan got in his personal space. Logan grabbed the front of Roman’s shirt, pulling him closer and growling in his face, “You better make yourself useful and replace it.”

Roman nods frantically and Logan lets go of him. Roman scrambles to grab his keys, rushing out the door and to the store. He rushes through the isles, his heart racing, and grabs a jar at random, hoping Logan won’t be nitpicky. He taps his foot impatiently as he waits in the checkout line, then drives home quickly. He rushes inside the apartment, brandishing the new jar to Logan. Logan takes it with a scoff. “Took you long enough.”

Over the next few weeks, Roman becomes Logan’s whipping boy. He does whatever Logan asks, takes every passive aggressive comment and belittling nickname. If he ever thinks of disobeying or talking back, Logan just g=has to bring up the Crofter’s. Always the Crofter’s. Roman is going to be stuck as Logan’s glorified slave forever because he forgot to replace the freaking Crofter’s, what the hell is wrong with hi-

“-oman. Roman?”

Roman blinks. Logan stands in the kitchen in his unicorn onesie, holding an empty jar of Crofter’s. His eyebrows raised, a vague look of concern over his features. He sets the jar down - not too hard; it barely makes a sound - and walks into the living room where Roman stands. Roman takes a step back, and Logan’s eyebrows just shoot further up, the concern being replaced by unamusement. Logan walks past Roman to grab his keys off of the coffee table and heading for the door, shoving his feet into his shoes.

Roman raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “…Where are you going?” Was he preparing the burial site? Purchasing a weapon? Securing an alibi?

“I’m getting more Crofter’s, since someone didn’t.”

Roman relaxes slightly. “Sorry, Lo.”

Logan rolls his eyes, opening the door. “It’s fine, just don’t let it happen again.” And with that he shut the door.


	31. To Join You by Your Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: The Big Spook

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Sleepxiety
> 
> Summary: This was by far the scariest thing Virgil has ever done in his life. He’s planned for this day for months, put up with things he never would have before, just to see this day happen. All for Remy. 
> 
> Tags/Warnings: flashbacks, cute nerds, self deprecation, halloween festivities, I’m trying to tag this without giving anything away, Human AU

Virgil was scared. No, scratch that, he was  _terrified_. The walls were closing in, looming high above him. Shadows were slithering from every corner and crevice to swallow him up. He pulls at the cuffs of his costume - because that’s all this was, a costume - nervously. He’d been planning this for months. Dozens of phone calls, meetings, and compromises to make this happen. All the near-heart-attacks from listening to the phone ring just to hear it be answered and that split second of silence that made his breathing stop. **  
**

* * *

_Virgil paced his living room anxiously, wearing a path into the old, dingy carpet. He listened to the sound of the phone ringing, heart beating a little too quickly and his anxiety ratcheting up with every pause between ringing. Finally, finally- the call was answered. There was silence for a split second, and then-_

_“Jack and Jill’s Flower Garden, how may I help you?”_

_Virgil swallowed nervously. “Ah, yeah, I uh- I need to order two dozen bouquets of uh…” He looks at the small list in his hand, the paper crumpled from his anxious fidgeting. “Double Orange Begonias, Orange Ranunculus Victoria, and Eggplant Calla Lilies.”_

_“Can I get an address for delivery?”_

_Virgil gives them the address and hangs up, his heart hammering in his chest. God, he hated phone calls. He has to sit on the carpet and practice his breathing exercise for a few minutes before he’s calm enough._

* * *

He must’ve just debated cancelling this whole thing a dozen times, but it wasn’t about him, and he would never do that. Not to Remy, who’d been looking forward to this so much (if it wasn’t for the fact that he was so busy, he’d be the one planning this).

Because today wasn’t just about him. Today was about the both of them. Virgil had searched for the perfect place to pull this off for months, searched for just the right things to make sure this went perfectly. Practicing his lines over and over and over again until he could recite them in his sleep. Then he worried that he had said them in his sleep and ruined everything. Ruined the surprise. Someone knocked on the door and he jumped, his heart skipping a beat. Patton opened the door sheepishly and smiled at Virgil. “Hey kiddo, you ready?”

Patton was wearing a nice black suit and light blue tie, fangs just barely poking past his lips, only really visible when he smiled.

Virgil nodded, tugging on his cuffs one last time before leaving his impromptu dressing room and taking his place. He looked around the room. Bouquets are placed strategically around the room (Logan had been adamant about finding the perfect balance). Spider’s webs are draped over every piece of furniture. Orange and black accents are placed around the room, ribbon running along the walkway. This was going to be the scariest thing he’d ever done.

Today was Virgil’s wedding.

He stood at the front of the church (he’d been hesitant about having their wedding in a church since neither of them were religious, but Remy promised it was ironic as hell, especially since their wedding was on Halloween) next to the minister, anxiously playing with the cufflinks on his jacket. He was never one for suits, because he didn’t like how constricting they felt, but he and Remy had spent a week making little changes to their outfits as a sort of compromise. Virgil was sort of a Frankenstein’s monster kind of thing (closer to Sally, really), with purple plaid patches sewn onto the suit and the odd bunch of fake leaves sticking out between seams and folds in the fabric. He used liquid latex and fake stitching to make it look like he was sewn together. Remy was supposed to be a zombie.

Patton, Logan, Roman, sat in the front row, giving Virgil the odd encouraging smile or nod when he’d glance their way. He gives them a shaky smile, adjusting a fake leaf that keeps tickling his neck. Declan, who stands next to him as his best man, squeezes his shoulder. A more suspenseful version of The Wedding March starts up, and Virgil stiffens. Shit, it’s starting. Shit shit shit shit. Virgil stands at attention, looking over towards the doors. Everyone stands and looks as well.

Remy enters in his torn and dirtied suit, face makeup making his skin look dead and decaying, one lense of his (spare) shades shattered to reveal a sunken-in eye. Virgil had to hand it to Remy, he really knew his makeup. He briefly lost himself in his fiancé, forgetting that he was supposed to be scared out of his mind. It wasn’t until Remy was almost next to him that he remembered that this was a  _wedding_ and he was  _getting married oh god what was Remy doing marrying **him**?_

The music stops, everyone sits, and the minister smiles kindly at the room. “Hello all. Shall we begin?” With a slightly jerky nod from Virgil and a smirk from Remy, he starts. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union between two souls in a bond of holy matrimony…”

Virgil looks over Remy’s face, taking in the liquid latex deforming his features and making him look dead and decayed. He thinks about the first time they met.

* * *

_Virgil liked to come to the park at night when he was feeling overwhelmed. It was calm, quiet, and it held a strange air of other-worldness that made you feel like you were the only living being left. He liked that feeling when the world has become too much (the rest of the time? Not so much). He was sitting on one of the park’s benches, facing the empty soccer fields with his headphones over his ears, listening to Twenty One Pilots. In his opinion, they perfectly captured that feeling you got from witnessing an abandoned swing set. The perfect mood music for when your mind was spiralling and you needed it to stop. He pulled himself out of his thoughts to focus on the lyrics._

_**“Though I’m weak** _

_**Beaten down** _

_**I’ll slip away** _

_**Into the sound** _

_**The ghost of you** _

_**Is close to me** _

_**I’m inside out** _

_**You’re underneath”** _

_Virgil saw something out of the corner of his eye and tensed up. Oh god, figures. On the one night he just wanted to be alone he’d been found by a park-going serial killer. He was gonna die. They were gonna kill him and he wouldn’t be found until morning and he’d ruin some poor kid’s memory of parks forever. That kid was going to need so much thera-_

_Someone tapped him on the shoulder and he jumped, screaming and ripping his headphones off._

_The man puts his hands up, a clear Starbucks cup in one hand. “Whoa, babe, calm-”_

_“I- I am no one’s **babe** , fuck you!”_

_The man takes a step back. “Ooookaaayyyy. Let’s take a deep breath, yeah? I just wanted to ask if you knew where we are right now, because I sure don’t.”_

_Virgil blinks, going lax and staring at the man with complete confusion. “I… What?”_

_“I’m **so** lost right now.”_

_“You and me both, buddy.”_

_The man shakes his head. “No, I mean, I have no clue where we are. What park is this?” Virgil looks around. Was this a prank?_

_“Uh…. Richmont.”_

_The man just stares at him._

_“…By the Cleaver Mall?”_

_Nothing._

_“Do you even live in Randsy?”_

_The man sighs. “Nope. Treeling.”_

_Okay, that wasn’t too far, actually, but… “How the hell did you get all the way here without knowing where you’re going?”_

_He laughs lightly. “I have no idea.”_

* * *

“…wrote their own vows. Mr. Nocturn will be sharing his first.”

Virgil blinks, bringing himself back to the present moment. Remy smiles, knowing exactly what had just happened. His smile warps the decaying flesh on his face a bit, though he doesn’t seem to notice or care. Virgil smiles back, one of his small, secretive smiles, and Remy finally begins speaking.

“Virge, I never thought that I’d ever meet someone like you. Having you in my life has made me so much happier.” He laughs lightly, taking Virgil’s hands. “You know I get lost a lot, but now I’ll only get lost in you, baby. You’re the ice to my latte, the steam to my green tea, the spice to my pumpkin. I couldn’t live without you, even if I wanted to, and I’m so happy that you said yes, babe.” His voice gets softer, his eyes a little misty. “I want to grow old with you. I want to share the covers on winter nights, be your heater when you get cold, have sappy romantic Lady and the Tramp moments with spaghetti dinners, and watch Nightmare before Christmas every night of October. I want to work with you, to grow with you, to laugh and cry with you, because you’re the reason I try. You’re the reason I can laugh and smile, and see the beauty in the world, as well as the dark. Because even if you consider yourself dark and gloomy, you need the darkness to appreciate the light. You complete me, and I can’t wait to finally start living life with you.”

Remy had tears in his eyes, and he was smiling, but he refused to cry. As he would tell Virgil on any given day, crying would  _totally_ ruin his mascara. Virgil didn’t know how he did it; he was certain he’d start crying any second. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was happy or scared, though.

* * *

_“Are you… Are you sure?”_

_Remy laughed lightly. “Why would I have asked you to marry me if I wasn’t sure?”_

_Virgil frowns. “Because I’m… Me.”_

_“I’m not sure I follow, babe.”_

_Virgil sighs. “I just… Are you sure you wanna be stuck with me for the rest of our lives? I mean…. I’m gloomy. Depressing. I talk about creepy and weird and depressing shit and I’m always in a crappy mood and half the time I don’t even want to talk or leave the house.”_

_Remy smiles at him sadly. “Babe, I love you **because** of your faults, not in spite of them.”_

_“But… how?” How could Remy love the parts of him that even he didn’t like? The parts he wished he could change, or just get rid of? It didn’t make any sense._

_“It doesn’t have to make sense,” Remy said, as if he was reading Virgil’s mind. “Feelings hardly ever really make sense, Virge. You taught me that, remember? You don’t have to understand where they come from or why they’re there to be able to accept them. Just like I don’t need to understand my love for you to know that it’s real.”_

_Virgil could feel the tears building on his lashes. He loved Remy so much, but he was afraid of trapping the other in a marriage he would regret. Virgil knew he wasn’t an easy person to get along with. He knew that eventually Remy would get sick of him, and he couldn’t stand the thought of that. But god, he was selfish. He wanted to know what it’d be like to wake up next to the man he loved and be able to say “my husband” when talking to friends or co-workers. Even if it hurt them both in the long run, he desperately wanted something to hold on to._

* * *

Virgil blinked the memory from his vision, the perfect, smiling face of his fiancé being replaced with the grey and decaying version with tears in his eyes. Virgil blinked again and twin tears fell down his cheeks. He hurried to wipe them away, giving a weak, shaky laugh. Their friends watch on with loving smiles as Remy takes his hands and kisses his cheeks where his tears once sat. Virgil takes a few deep breaths, the first one shaky, and looks up at Remy. Remy nods, giving him an encouraging smile. Virgil swallows.

This wasn’t about just him, this was for Remy, too.

“Remy, you’re the only person who doesn’t talk over me or ignore me or get mad and persistent when I disagree. I love that we can talk about anything without losing our love. You appreciate me and I appreciate you, too. I want to spend my life taking care of you and loving you and making you happy, you adorable, fabulous cutie. Thank you for loving me.”

To someone outside of the relationship, Virgil’s vows might sound lackluster. They might sound like he really didn’t care. But Remy knew better. He knew Virgil, and he knew all the things that went unsaid in the way his voice shook and the shine in his eyes. Remy knew just how much love went unspoken behind those words, because his Virgil had never been one for long, rambling soliloquies. Virgil was a man of few words, and if you didn’t know him, you might miss the real meaning.

_Thank you for always being there for me, for listening to me. Thank you for always trying to understand me, even when you don’t. Thank you for trying. For never giving up. Thank you for trusting me the way I trust you. I love you, so much, more than words can say, and it means so much to me that you feel the same. I want to always be there for you, to take care of you and love you and hold you when you need me, or even when you don’t but you still want me. I’d do anything to make you happy, just the way you’ve made me happy. I want to make you the happiest man in the world, because that’s what you deserve. Thank you, for everything._

Remy’s tears finally spilled over, pooling in the crevices of the latex on his skin. He was always one for preserving your makeup, but this was his special day and if anyone expected him not to cry then they could shove it where the sun don’t shine. Remy’s smile grew and he squeezed Virgil’s hands, letting his love know that he got the message. He understood, and he loved him, so very much.

The priest smiled warmly, looking to Remy once again. “Remington Bartholomew Nocturn-” Virgil snorted. Remy grimaced. Why did they include his middle name? So old-school. “-do you take this man to be your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?”  

Remy nods, looking right into Virgil’s eyes with rarely-seen seriousness. “I do.”

The priest nods and looks at Virgil. “And do you, Virgil Andrew Shae, take this man to be your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?“

Virgil nods emphatically, more tears falling. His voice cracks as he says, “I do.” He gives Remy a shaky smile, squeezing his hands.

The priest looks at Remy. “Repeat after me.” Remy nods.  “I, Remy, take you, Virgil,”

Remy smiles, feeling a little silly. He quickly schools his expression. “I, Remy, take you, Virgil.”

“To be my husband,”

“To be my husband,” A small laugh escapes him. This was really happening. He was really marrying the love of his life.

“To have and to hold,”

“To have and to hold,”

“From this day forward,”

“From this day forward,”

“For better, for worse,”

“For better, for worse,”

“For richer, for poorer,”

“For richer, for poorer,”

“In sickness and in health,”

“In sickness and in health,”

“To love and to cherish,”

“To love and to cherish,”

“Till death do us part.”

“Til death do us part.” Remy grinned broadly. Virgil rolled his eyes.

The priest has Virgil repeat the vows. “I, Virgil, take you, Remy,”

Virgil bites his lip. “I, Virgil, take you, Remy,”

“To be my husband,”

“To be my husband,”

“To have and to hold,”

“To have and to hold,”

“From this day forward,”

“From this day forward,”

“For better, for worse,”

“For better, for worse,”

“For richer, for poorer,”

“For richer, for poorer,”

“In sickness and in health,”

“In sickness and in health,” God, Remy always was the  _worst_ bitcher when he got a cold though.

“To love and to cherish,”

“To love and to cherish,”

“Till death do us part.”

“Til death do us part.” Virgil’s voice comes out choked. Old doubts reared their head; what if he woke up tomorrow and realized this was all a mistake? Or in a year? Five years? Ten?

Remy squeezed his hands, pulling him out of his mind. Virgil looks up at him and sees him mouth ‘I love you’. Virgil smiles and mouths it back, wishing he could just kiss this dumb nerd’s face already. God, he really didn’t deserve him.

“Now, can whomever has the rings step forward and present them to the couple?”

Declan moves forward with the small pillow, holding it out for the pair. Virgil and Declan share a smile, Virgil’s eyes tracing over the sloppily-wrapped, dingy bandages covering his friend from head to foot. Of course he’d be a mummy, why not. He turns back to Remy, fingering the ring in his hand. The metal feels cold, weighted, oppressive-

No. It felt like a promise. A promise to always be there, to always love one another. Virgil smiles.

“Now, Remy, please place the ring on Virgil’s left ring finger and repeat after me: I give you this ring as a token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love.”

Remy grins, taking Virgil’s left hand and slipping the plain silver band onto his ring finger, making eye contact with him and saying, “I give you this ring as a token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love.”

“Now Virgil. Place the ring on Remy’s left ring finger and repeat after me: I give you this ring as a token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love.“

Virgil took Remy’s left hand in his own shaky one, slipping a plain gold band onto his ring finger and saying, "I give you this ring as a token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love.”

The priest nods. “Please join hands.” Remy and Virgil take each other’s hands, smiling widely. They know what comes next. “By virtue of the authority vested in me under the laws of the State of Florida, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss.”

Remy pulls Virgil close, kissing him deeply. Virgil closes his eyes and melts into it as his friends and family shoot to their feet, all clapping (and in Patton’s case, cheering loudly.  _Very_ loudly). They finally pull away after a few seconds, turning to face their loved ones with joined hands. The priest holds his arms out, smiling broadly.

“May I now present to you, for the first time, Mr. and Mr. Shae-Nocturn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason I wrote a wedding is because, let’s be honest, getting married is one of the scariest things you can do. Also, this is a tribute to mine and my hubby’s Halloween wedding today! He’s the Virgil to my Remy. I love him so much <3
> 
> Their vows are actually the vows we wrote, so I had a lot of fun with all of this haha. I hope you all enjoyed this just as much as me. Though October may be over, the adventure never will be. Keep checking in to see what other cool stuff I’m working on! Thank you all so much for the support <3


End file.
